


The Party Goes With You

by Abbdabb



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bisexual AU, Clothing store AU, Complicated Relationships, F/F, Friendship, Hurt, Lesbian AU, Lesbian Sex, Love, Sexuality, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Useless Lesbians, crygi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:22:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 45,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24435808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abbdabb/pseuds/Abbdabb
Summary: "Boyfriend? Ugh, what a waste!" Gigi cocked her head back and let out a loud laugh while Crystal felt her cheeks burning bright red.Gigi is tasked with training the new girl at her store. Crystal is new in town with no fashion or merchandising experience, no clothing knowledge, and the coolest blue hair Gigi had ever seen. A fast friendship forms between the two, but that friendship soon becomes exceptionally complicated. More complicated than either of them could have ever imagined.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 277
Kudos: 402





	1. Work, Wives, and Happy Lives

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am brand new to this fandom and haven't written fanfiction ever! I also haven't written anything fictional in YEARS. But, I'm here and I have some thoughts I just had to shove out into a story. And with school being online and the world on lockdown...now is the time!
> 
> Criticism and thoughts are more than welcome! I am hoping to be able to update weekly!
> 
> Cheers.

_Gigi stood in the shower, running the hot water at the highest temperature that her skin could stand. Her skin was bright pink and on the verge of turning deep red, but she didn’t care. The stinging, as the droplets hit her skin, allowed her to keep her mind from wandering. The more she focused on the burning feeling, the calmer she was able to remain. Now was not the time for her to break down. Because, if she started crying, Crystal would be able to hear her._

_“What the fuck did I do? What the fuck did I do? What the fuck did I do?” She stifled a sob, trying to keep the sound and pain in her throat. The pain was intense and extremely unfamiliar._

_Gigi was a sexually open woman. She had sex with men, women, and most genders in-between and out of these boundaries. Having sex with friends wasn’t new or weird for her. Usually, she wasn’t worried about making things awkward. She was beautiful and she knew it, so Gigi was used to catching the eye of people she knew well, as well as people she didn’t. If they wanted to make it awkward, that was on them. But everything was different about this. Everything was different when it came to Crystal._

_“Geege, you’ve been in there for, like, a long time,” Crystal said while lightly tapping on the bathroom door. “Are you okay?”_

_“Girl, you know how much I love your shower! The water pressure is so much better than at my place.” Gigi lied, with a soft, forced giggle. “How you get anything done when you could be in here all the time is unreal.”_

_“Oh. Yeah. Sorry, I guess... I’m overthinking everything.”_

_“That’s kind of your thing, babe.” Gigi snorted. Her eyes were still filled to the brim with tears, so she was glad that the bathroom door remained closed. Usually, she and Crystal had no boundaries and would barge in on each other when they got ready for work. Gigi had painted her nails sitting on the toilet or the edge of the tub while Crystal showered many times. But the anxiety that Gigi was feeling was matched in Crystal, so her feet remained planted outside the bathroom door._

_“You don’t feel...You don’t....regret-” Crystal started, her voice hitching in a way that Gigi knew she was fighting back tears, too. The heartbreak Gigi heard almost pushed her over the edge into a meltdown, but she bit her lip and clung onto the last shred of composure she had._

_“Of course not. Babe, it’s no big thing! If you don’t want to do it again, we don’t. But I had fun. I don’t have any regrets.” Gigi lied, trying to sound as flippant as possible. It wasn't technically a lie, rather, she said it even though she was not sure whether or not it was the truth. Gigi was open. Gigi had done a great many things. But becoming the other woman was new._

_And being her best friend’s other woman was something else altogether._

_“What the fuck did I do?”_

**

“Do you have any questions?” Gigi asked as she twirled her dirty blonde hair around her long slender finger. Her flirtatious demeanour was going unnoticed. The trainee she was working with was too busy jotting down notes in a sparkly blue notebook. Gigi watched the pretty girl with blue hair bite the tip of her pen before finishing the last of her sentence. Nobody had ever cared enough about training at Brita’s Boutique to write things down.

“No, I think I’m okay! The POS seems to be pretty user-friendly.” Crystal nodded fervently as she opened the notebook to a new page. “So, what’s next on the docket?”

Gigi wasn’t sure why Brita had asked her, specifically, to train the new associate. Sure, she was good at her job at the mid-size clothing boutique. Gigi had a keen eye for style and was able to build outfits for any body type. But for that reason, she wasn’t often the one to use the cash register. On a given day, the store had at least one stylist and one cashier on the floor. Brita liked to keep a small, tight-knit staff that knew the products and were reliable. Yet when Brita hired Crystal to start as a cashier, the training shifts were offered to Gigi. The hours would push Gigi into overtime, which meant time and a half. Naturally, she accepted, even if Nina would have been a better choice.

“Next on the docket is lunch,” Gigi said. “Do you remember how to sign in and out? Punch yourself out and then we can dip.” 

“Yeah, I think I remember,” Crystal mumbled as she exited the screen that they were looking at.

“Nick, are you and Brit okay if Crystal and I head for lunch?” Since it was a late Monday afternoon, the store was not overly busy. Gigi figured that the floor would easily survive without trainee and trainer for the time being.

“Yeah, now is probably the best time,” Nicky spoke kindly with her thick French accent. The blonde girl gestured toward the back of the store, where the lunchroom was located. “Did you bring lunch or are you going to get food? My purse is back there and I would love you forever if you could pick me up an iced coffee.”

“I can be coerced to leave the store,” Gigi shrugged. “I brought some food but I didn’t bring anything except water to drink, and I am seriously in need of a coffee right about now.”

“Starbucks?” Nicky pleaded. “Take my debit card. Both of you can grab something for yourselves too. Just see if Brita wants anything, too.”

“You up for a walk up the street?” Gigi asked Crystal. 

“Me?” Crystal was still fiddling with the POS. She had clearly not caught a word that Nicky had said. 

“Yeah, Nick said she’d pay for our coffees if we pick one up for her.” Gigi wiggled her eyebrows up and down. All of the girls at the store dealt with coffee buying similarly. None of them had time for “you-owe-me-two-dollars” or any similar payment structures. They all just took turns buying or used coffee as a form of bribery.

“Oh, you don’t have to do-”

“That’s not how it works around here. Don’t waste your precious lunch break arguing with me.” Nicky smiled and wandered over to the cash desk to help Crystal figure out how to clock her lunch break.

“Well, I’ll get coffee next time?” Crystal offered while giving Nicky a small thank you for reminding her to work the POS.

“Exactly. Now you get it! I’ll grab our stuff and we can head over to Bucks!” Gigi sped to the lunchroom, giving Brita a quick rundown of the training session and asking for her Starbucks order as she passed by.

**

“So, are you into fashion? Or are you all about being a cashier?” Gigi asked as she unwrapped a straw for her gigantic iced coffee. She sat down beside Crystal, as the two elected to share their lunch break at the coffee shop instead of trekking back to the boutique and allowing their iced coffees to become warm. They agreed that both hot and cold coffees were excellent, but warm coffee was disgusting. That was why Gigi decided she would wait until the end of their break to get any coffee for Brita and Nicky.

“To be honest,” Crystal began. “I’m absolutely only here because it’s a cashier job. If Brita was hiring a stylist I never would have applied. I am new to the whole fashion thing.”

“I assumed so,” Gigi said with a small laugh.

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean!” Crystal gestured to her very simple floral dress with a light purple cardigan. “This outfit is cute!”

“That dress 100% does not belong to you!” Gigi snorted. 

“What makes you say that?” Crystal’s cheeks were slightly red, realizing that Gigi was kind of calling her out. She hated conflict and knew the dress was within the dress code limits, so she hoped Gigi was just teasing.

“The straps are too loose, the waist is too loose, and the pattern is cute but cute for, like, a lady. Plus you have blue hair and your makeup is a lot edgier than the dress. This so isn't yours.” Gigi got up from her seat and started fiddling with Crystal’s outfit. Crystal jumped slightly as she met Gigi’s blue eyes, and the blonde snatched the cardigan off of her. 

“Wha-”

“Look, you can adjust these,” Gigi mumbled as she played with the arm straps of the floral dress Crystal was wearing. “If this was your dress, I would assume it would have been adjusted for your body already.”

“It’s my mom’s dress. I borrowed a few of her things for my shifts this week.” Crystal sighed as she grabbed the cardigan back forcefully. 

“I knew it!” Gigi exclaimed as she sat down and took a drink of her coffee.

“I didn’t think it looked bad.” Crystal furrowed her brow in annoyance.

“I didn’t say it looked bad! It looks good. But I knew it wasn’t yours.” Gigi said simply. 

“That makes no sense.”

“I have a lot to teach you about fashion, new girl.” Gigi laughed. Crystal scowled. She didn’t want to spend her break being chastised by her trainer. Slowly the comfort she was feeling while Gigi trained her began to slip away. 

“Right. I already said fashion was new to me.” Crystal huffed.

“Hey, look, I wasn’t trying to be a dick!” Gigi exclaimed, realizing what she had said stung the girl. “Here’s the problem. You’re dressed the way you think you need to dress. But when Brita does the buying for the store, she tries to get a little bit of everything. You are allowed to dress a bit edgier. The dress is pretty, but Brita didn’t hire you because she thinks you are gonna rock floral dresses every shift.” 

“I see,” Crystal was beginning to understand.

“You have any denim jackets?” Gigi asked.

“Yeah?” 

“Even that dress with a denim jacket would feel a bit more you, in my opinion. Or, that cardigan! It’s a delicious shade of purple. If you have any band tee’s, with high-rise jeans? And some accessories.” Gigi’s face lit up and Crystal went back to feeling comfortable with the woman. 

“Brita said something about that in my interview. That the dress code was pretty open to interpretation and she didn’t demand that we wore the clothes she sold-”

“Just that you can re-create the style of outfit for a customer if they like your vibe? Exactly. And if I’m being honest with you, Brita told me she hired you because you’re smart and you had edgy makeup. Our team kind dresses similarly and do similar faces for work. You seemed like a nice change.” Gigi offered a warm smile. Crystal accepted and gave one back.

“Sorry to get testy. I just feel like a total fish out of water here.”

“Girl I’ve been barking about the POS system at you for hours, now I’m reading your outfit. I promise I get it.” Gigi laughed. 

“You work here because you love fashion, then?” Crystal accepted Gigi’s kindness, but she was in a hurry to get off the subject of her outfit. 

“Yeah, for sure. I’ve been working for Brita for...maybe a year now. I’m also taking a few fashion design courses right now, just part-time.” Gig explained.

“That’s cool!”

“I went University for psychology at my parents’ behest,” Gigi said with a roll of her blue eyes. “But I just couldn’t cut it in the field. When I started working for a crisis line, it just broke my heart. And research labs make me want to poke my eyes out - I did a few lab placements throughout my degree and I just had a really hard time silently inputting data, which is all you can do if you only have your bachelor’s. And your girl was not getting a Ph.D. in something she didn’t want to study in the first place!”

“Oh-”

“Then I moved back in with my parents with a piece of paper and no idea where I was going in life, then I found Brita’s Boutique and realized that the doodling I had done over the years was more than just me dicking around and I loved designing!” Crystal looked overwhelmed at the information. “Not that you asked, of course!”

“No, I like it. I can be quiet sometimes so I like chatty people.” Gigi laughed as Crystal tried to make her feel less annoying. 

“Well good. First of all, I’m chatty as fuck. Second, with only eight, well....now nine I guess, of us working at the store, you’ll know everything about everyone very soon.”

“Everyone seems nice.” Crystal said.

“They’re all chill,” Gigi nodded. “But now you know my backstory. What about Crystal?”

“What about her?” Crystal laughed.

“Do you have a story? You don’t like fashion, you like cash registers.”

“Cash registers _are_ my passion,” Crystal rolled her eyes as she spoke sarcastically. “But I don’t think I have a story. I just moved into town. My boyfriend and I just did, actually. I worked at a restaurant while he went to Uni. He just got his bachelor’s, but now needs to do some college courses to get all his credentials. So we moved here because the econ college stuff around here is really good or something? I am not sure, to be honest. I just know that I have no idea what I want to do with my life, so I’ve just gone along with him.”

“Boyfriend? Ugh, what a waste!” Gigi cocked her head back and let out a loud laugh while Crystal felt her cheeks burning bright red. “But I get it. Maybe inspo will strike eventually. As long as your man is pulling his weight.” 

“Oh, he works too.” Crystal assured her.

“Then that’s rad. Save money and find what you want to do. Trust me, a degree looks pretty hung up on your parents’ wall, but I wish I had just taken time first. Stick with your man and bank some cash. I’m into it! But, shit, I think we better head back to the store soon. I’m gonna run and grab Nick her coffee.” Crystal smiled and nodded as she started to pack up her stuff and adjust her cardigan, which now felt like skin she had outgrown.

Crystal watched the beautiful woman run to the cashier and order. She couldn’t take her eyes off of Gigi. It was impossible to not feel a little intimidated by her, especially considering Crystal was just getting into an industry that Gigi seemed to know fairly well. Not to mention the fact that Gigi looked like what a supermodel aspired to look like. And she was a difficult person for Crystal to read. Gigi seemed friendly and was a good trainer. But was she actually trying to help Crystal with her outfits or was she just another mean, beautiful girl, like the ones Crystal met in high school? And what the hell did she mean about her boyfriend being a waste? The job at Brita’s Boutique was off to a strange start, to say the least.


	2. We Don't Speak of Names and Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal works her first overnight shift with a certain blonde girl.

Crystal had music playing loudly in her headphones as she walked to work. She had survived her first week of training, and things seemed to be going well. She had officially met and worked with all of the girls that worked at Brita’s Boutique. Nicky was a pleasant stylist who had a beautiful accent and a severe caffeine problem. Jan was an unusually peppy cashier and stylist who was using her charming personality to help her succeed. Nina was the kind assistant manager who made sure all every customer felt great about their body. Jaida was the most trendy of the stylists and was able to be blunt and honest with the customers in a way that made them feel good. Widow was a stylist who worked well with everyone and kept the mood light and comfortable. Jackie was a cashier who loved the analytical nature of the job and focused on helping people find the cutest clothes without breaking their budget. Brita was the mother hen who loved her small business and her staff. And Gigi…

Crystal had spent more time with Gigi than anyone and she found herself somewhat infatuated with her. Nothing weird or obsessive, but she just wanted to be around her and feel her energy. She wanted to hear her thoughts on everything about the boutique and the fashion industry. 

“Damn, I swear you’re like a schoolgirl with a crush.” Crystal’s boyfriend Nathan finally said one day after the umpteenth Gigi story.

“Stop!” Crystal laughed. “When you meet her, you’ll get it. She’s just cool.”

“So I’ve heard. One thousand times!”

Thankfully, Crystal was able to keep it together. She hadn’t seemed to freak Gigi out during their training week. They spent all of their lunch breaks together thus far, so Crystal assumed that Gigi at least thought of her as a work friend. 

Behind her, as she walked, Crystal noticed a car in her peripheral vision. The car was approaching her slowly, so Crystal reached in her jacket pocket to grab her house keys and put them between her fingers. She picked up her speed but the car was still in her vision. Finally, she took her headphones out to realize the driver was laying on the horn. 

“Crystal!” A voice screamed behind her in between honks of the horn. Crystal whipped around to see Jan hanging out of the passenger seat window and Gigi driving the car. With a sigh of relief, she unclenched her fist, letting the keys fall back down to the bottom of her pocket.

“You bitches scared me!” Crystal yelled as she ran over to the car.

“We thought that just pulling in front of you and stopping and getting out and running at you would be significantly weirder!” Jan laughed as Gigi parked her little black car. “Do you want a ride?”

“It’s cool, I don’t want to be a pain.”

“We are literally going to the same place, you dumbass,” Gigi said with a characteristic roll of her blue eyes. “Get in the car. Just be aware Jan has the aux cord.”

“It’s just a Spotify daily playlist! It’s not my fault if there are a few show tunes on here.” Jan laughed.

“Yeah, except Spotify makes those playlists based on you, so it is completely your fault.” Gigi snorted. “Get in! If we don’t have enough time to get coffee before this shitshow, I will have to murder you.”

“Is it that bad?” Crystal asked as she got into the back seat of Gigi’s car. The girls were heading in for an overnight shift. Once Brita’s Boutique closed on that Sunday night, Gigi, Jaida, Jan, Brita, and Crystal would rearrange the whole store and get it all prepared for the new line. They were transitioning from the first part of the Spring line to the second part. When Crystal had mentioned this shift to Nicky and Jackie on her previous shift, they just laughed and wished her luck. 

“They’re just a pain in the ass,” Jan explained. “It’s a lot of work. Brita likes it done in a very specific way. And it’s her store so whatever. But it’s tiring. A lot of planning. And Gigi makes it take longer than it needs to.”

“How?” Crystal asked incredulously. She had come to know Gigi as a hard worker who was impeccable with the product. 

“Oh, I just don’t shut the fuck up,” Gigi laughed. “I usually get yelled at to go put headphones in and rearrange things on my own. I can be quite distracting.”

“Come on Crystal, you must have wanted to tell her to zip it at least once during your training.” It was true that Gigi was chatty, but Crystal laughed and pointed out that Jan was also very chatty. The three girls laughed as Gigi and Jan gave a bit more insight into what the night was going to look like. As much as it sounded tedious, Crystal was looking forward to the night. Time on the floor, without customers, sounded appealing. It would be more time to get to know the girls she was spending 40 hours a week with. She also was scheming to get some of the girls to be friends with her outside of Brita’s. It was pretty lonely, not knowing anyone but Nathan in the town.

**

“Alright ladies, let’s focus up. Gigi, please.” Brita said in a serious, but not at all angry tone. Everyone on the night team had arrived, the store was closed, and Brita was ready to hand out tasks for the night. “We have a new victim on the overnight team! Crystal, we are gonna need you to bust it out. We all want to be out of here before 3 am, so we have to work quickly.”

“You’ve got it, mom!” Crystal said, using the affectionate term for Brita that the other girls used.

“Tonight, I think we will go easy on you. What I need is for you to steam the clothing that Gigi pulled for the mannequins to wear, and to pick some accessories for them.” Crystal nodded, looking around the store, counting that there were a lot more mannequins than the realized. “After that, if you can put up the new signage for the Spring 2 sale. Nina has it all organized, and notes on where they need to go.”

“I can help you if any of her notes aren’t clear,” Jaida added. “I speak Nina.” 

“Thanks! That would be great.” Brita laid out all her plans for the rest of the girls and offered to be in charge of buying pizza for everyone at midnight for their break. 

Crystal quickly could see why Gigi referred to the evening as a shitshow. The girls moved quickly, precisely, and barked at each other a lot. It was a very different atmosphere. Crystal was not used to hearing the girls speak in such snappy, short sentences. The store got quite warm quickly and Crystal couldn’t help but notice that Gigi had changed from the baggy tee shirt she had been wearing into a tight tank top. 

“Don’t mind the mood change,” Jaida whispered to Crystal as they went over some of Nina’s marketing notes. 

“It’s different after dark in here,” Crystal nodded. 

“The hard part is that everyone loves the store so much. Especially Gigi and obviously Brita. So everyone takes the set up and arrangement very seriously, you know? It’s just a little chaos between friends because everyone wants to see the store succeed.” Jaida explained.

“I guess it surprised me, Gigi being so tense tonight. She was such a patient trainer.”

“That’s because you’re new, chile! We are all old, and this is her passion.” Jaida and Crystal could hear Brita and Gigi butting heads again as they discussed that very head butting. Weirdly, seeing Gigi get flustered and irritated at things through the night was endearing to Crystal. Knowing it was coming from a place of love for her store and industry made Crystal even more impressed.

“Jaida!” Gigi yelled.

“Yes baby,” Jaida called back.

“Can you tell Brita that _she_ needs to make the choice about which jacket the main mani in the window wears? And that if I make the choice she is probably going to hate it?” Gigi sounded irked as she twisted her long blonde ponytail into a tight bun.

“Brita, you’re asking Gigi to make a choice? She’s a flighty bisexual who refuses to commit. She’s never made a choice in her life.” Jaida left Crystal to her Nina notes and went to break up the squabble as Gigi flipped her off. For some reason, Crystal could feel a blush creep up to her cheeks. The idea of Gigi being bisexual...did it contextualize the comment she made about her boyfriend being a waste? Whenever she noticed how beautiful Gigi was, or found herself paying a bit too much attention to her, that comment played in Crystal’s head. Did this gorgeous woman think that _she_ was cute? There was no way.

**

The girls got out of work before two in the morning. Brita’s Boutique looked fresh and ready for spring. Gigi offered to drive an exhausted Crystal home, before taking Jan and herself to Jan’s apartment for a sleepover. Since she was back living with her parents, Gigi felt guilty about coming home late, and Jan’s couch gave her a way out of waking everyone. Well, sometimes Jan’s couch. Sometimes her bed. 

“How into her are you?” Jan asked as the two girls pulled into the parking lot of Jan’s apartment.

“Crystal?”

“No, Brita,” Jan said sarcastically. "Yes. Crystal. You're into her."

“Fuck off! I was just checking."

"You stared at her half the night. And you've spent every shift with her staring!" Jan poked.

"Jealous?" Gigi asked wiggling her eyebrows. Jan rolled her eyes. "I've definitely been looking. She’s hot, but she has a boyfriend."

“Has that ever stopped you?” Jan asked, making both of the girls laugh. It was true. She tended to avoid people with partners, just because of the inevitable messy fallout. But if someone she wanted _was_ involved with someone, Gigi made sure that it wasn’t for long. She was only 24, so the commitments and partnerships didn’t make sense to or appeal to her at all.

“Brita would absolutely murder me for going after that one,” Gigi acknowledged.

“That’s true,” Jan nodded. “Crystal is doing well and everyone likes her. If you fuck her and ghost her, Brita would kick the shit out of you. It took her like, a full month and a half of interviews to find Crystal. And she doesn’t seem like the secret-friends-with-benefits-type. She’s such a nice girl.”

“But you’re also a very nice girl, Jan,” Gigi said as she unbuckled her seatbelt and reached to grab Jan’s face in her hands. She deeply kissed Jan, and Jan moaned into her mouth. “And I know for a fact that you’re the secret-friends-with-benefits-type.”

“I didn’t know it was going to be that kind of sleepover,” Jan breathed.

“It’s whatever kind of sleepover you want,” Gigi whispered back. 

“I did just do manual labour for nine hours. I think a shower needs to happen first.”

“Same,” Gigi said as she kissed Jan again. “You know, showering together can help save water.”

“Well, you know how much I like to keep things eco-friendly,” Jan exclaimed as she hurried out of the car and to the door of her building.

**

Gigi was exhausted physically, but she found herself unable to sleep. Partially due to Jan’s inability to share blankets, partially due to her wandering mind. Usually, she wasn’t one to pine, but ever since she met Crystal, she found her mind heading back to her. The blue hair that always looked vibrant, the awkward clothes she borrowed from her mom that Gigi had to fix every shift, the sweet way she dealt with customers... Jan was right. Gigi had a crush. But Crystal had a boyfriend.

Careful to not disturb the girl beside her, Gigi snuck out of bed. She stole the purple terrycloth robe Jan had hanging on the back of her door and slowly snuck out of the bedroom. Jan’s house was comfortable for Gigi. Everything was always tidy. Framed playbills and photographs made the small place feel like home. The roommate across the hall was rarely home, so Gigi was fine to always make herself cozy. Her house felt emblematic of her personality in Gigi’s mind. Safe. 

**

_“Thanks for the ride home,” Jan earnestly said to Gigi. “I swear, I’m saving for a car.”_

_“Life is expensive,” Gigi shrugged. She had purchased her beloved used baby when she was in high school and had no other fiscal responsibilities. It had gotten her through all four years of her degree, and showed no signs of letting her down any time soon. Jan reached into her purse to offer Gigi some money for gas, which was politely declined._

_“Please,” Jan sighed. “I always hate walking or trying to catch a bus on late nights. You saved me a lot of anxiety.”_

_“Seriously, it’s no big thing. I am happier knowing you got home safe. Your week of top-notch training can be your payment!” Jan rolled her eyes as Gigi spoke. Gigi had started to love making Jan roll her eyes because they sparkled beautifully._

_“Brita pays me for training people. You’re not responsible for that.” Jan jammed a crumpled up bill in Gigi’s cupholder. Gigi decided to accept the money, but use it to buy Jan coffees every day for the rest of the week. “Do you have to head home? You can come up for a bit if you want.”_

_“I live with my parents,” Gigi explained sheepishly, noticing it was already after 2 am. “I don’t like going home late. I feel gross about waking everyone up”_

_“Girl, crash here. Brooke Lynn is never home. You won’t annoy your parents and we can get to know each other! This is visitor parking you can just leave your car here.” Jan clapped her hands together before flinging her seatbelt off._

_“I don’t have any clothes or toothbrush or-” Gigi began but Jan had already jumped out of the car and was pulling the driver’s side door open._

_“I have extras! Come on!” Somehow Gigi found herself being dragged up to Jan’s apartment. She shot a text to her parents, just so that when they woke up they would not be wondering where she was._

_Much like Jan had promised, the two girls were there alone. Jan’s roommate was a dancer, and a lot of her gigs took her out of town. The empty apartment allowed the girls to freely sprawl out on Jan’s couches after slipping into some pyjamas. Jan offered to open a bottle of wine and Gigi happily accepted._

_The tired girls became tipsy quickly and became more friendly with each sip. They shared stories about their pasts, their experiences at the boutique, and swapped gossip about the girls that they worked with. Scented candles illuminated the living room and made everything feel a bit dreamy._ _Gigi looked over at her colleague and noticed how soft her skin and lips looked. She noticed how tightly Jan's pyjamas clung to her breasts. Slowly, wordlessly, Gigi made her way from the couch she was sitting on to the love seat Jan had taken residence on._

_“Are you ok-” Jan was interrupted as Gigi’s lips collided with hers. The kiss began softly, but as the wine and dim lights began to swim together in their minds, the kiss deepened._

_“Is this okay?” Gigi asked._

_“Yes. Please.” Jan squeaked as the two returned to passionately kissing. Gigi was on top of Jan, grinding against her, letting her hands explore the breasts that had caused this outburst. Jan made approving noises that spurred Gigi on further. Gigi had suspected since day one of her training that Jan, the sports-loving empath, was a lesbian. The hungry way she kissed Gigi confirmed that Jan had at least some kind of attraction to women._

_"Fuck," Gigi breathed as Jan bit down hard on her bottom lip. "I didn't realize you were a dirty girl, Jan."_

_"I can be," Jan laughed as she slid off her tank top and threw it on the floor. Gigi responded in the same way as Jan kissed and bit her neck._

_"Bed?"_

_“Yes. Please.”_

**

Gigi made her way onto Jan’s balcony, tightening the robe she had borrowed. She should be dozing off, trying to pry blankets out from Jan’s sleeping death grip, but her brain wouldn’t allow her to relax. This level of restlessness was out of character. Gigi had fucked her favourite friend-with-benefits after a productive day at the job she loved. She should be comfortably, happily, peacefully resting. 

But her mind was on a stupid set of blue curls. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe the amazing feedback I've gotten! Thank you so much. Comments are appreciated and thank you again for reading!
> 
> Cheers!


	3. This Party Could Be Just Us Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal has worked at Brita's Boutique for a month. Jackie throws a monthiversary party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in 24 hours...the quarantine boredom is getting to me! Thank you all for the continued kudos and support! It means so much to me. 
> 
> Cheers!

Crystal had survived her first month at Brita’s Boutique. She was a whiz on the POS who picked up Jackie’s love of helping people get the most out of their money. Widow also was planning on teaching Crystal how to give customers fittings for new bras, because the customers were all connecting to her very quickly. The anxieties about not knowing much about fashion disappeared more and more after every shift. Gigi and Nicky edited the outfits she wore, helping highlight her edge in a way that customers loved. She even began to stop wearing clothes she had stolen from her mother - she was wearing some of her own jeans, her own bomber jackets, and her own eccentrically patterned pants and dresses. Things were starting to feel comfortable.

Jackie offered up her apartment when Jaida and Jan suggested that they throw a small get-together celebrating Crystal’s one month at the shop. Even though she knew that the girls liked her, the idea of a party in her honour still surprised her. Crystal learned when she was in high school that fashionable, pretty girls didn’t like her. On the contrary, they tended to be the people who bullied her. But these girls were nothing like the ones who tormented her when she was younger. They even offered to have Nathan come to the little get-together. He wasn’t interested in coming (he hated parties), but Crystal still thought it was sweet of them to ask. 

Not everyone from the store was there when Crystal arrived, and she found out they would not all end up being there. Some of the staff opened early the next day, and some of them (specifically Brita, Nina, and Widow) were in such a different age group that they didn’t want to party with a handful of twenty-somethings. Jackie still invited them, even if it involved some slight teasing about them being older.

Jaida, Nicky, and Jackie were already hanging out when Crystal arrived at Jackie’s place. They greeted her excitedly.

“Happy monthiversary!” Jaida exclaimed as she handed Crystal a Solo cup. “It’s rum and Coke, but there is other stuff if you want. Nicky said you said this was your drink of choice.”

“It is!” Crystal thought it was very sweet of Nicky to remember. “Thank you so much for having this party. I don’t know a lot of people in town and you guys have gone out of your way to make me feel like I have friends!”

“You do have friends, girl! And trust me, we are very picky about who we like.” Jackie laughed.

“Is anyone else coming?” Crystal was trying to be nonchalant.

“I think Jan and Gigi are on their way,” Nicky said while checking her phone. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t ride with them,” Jaida said.

“Nathan drove me. He was on his way over to work, so he offered.” It was a lie, but the girls gushed about how sweet Nathan was and told Crystal how excited they were to eventually meet him. She assured them that they would get to meet Nathan soon.  Crystal hoped it this wasn’t a lie. 

Things hadn’t been going well between the couple. In fact, Nathan and Crystal had a huge battle on their way to Jackie’s. Crystal had earnestly tried one last time to convince Nathan to join them for one drink. Apparently, that set Nathan off, asking her why she was trying to change him and make him more social and why she was pestering him so much. Needless to say, Crystal was excited to get a drink and relax with her new friends. After a few minutes of conversation, Jan and Gigi walked in.

“Who’s ready to party, bitches!” Gigi squealed as she walked in, holding two bottles of cheap vodka. The girls all cheered out and jumped up from their seats in Jackie’s living room. 

“Happy anniversary!” Jan yelled, grabbing Crystal into a big hug. Her skin smelled like lavender and was extremely soft. 

“I can’t believe we didn’t scare her off,” Jaida laughed as Gigi pulled Crystal into a hug once Jan was done with her. Crystal felt herself melting under Gigi’s touch. Her body was warm. Her hug was deep. Crystal noticed that Gigi also smelled like lavender and assumed that the smell must have come from the car. 

“Nope! I’ve loved my 160 hours at Brita’s.” 

“Well, we got lucky when Brita decided to hire you,” Nicky gushed and Crystal realized that she had never felt as loved by a group of friends in her life.

**

“Never have I ever…” Crystal paused, trying to think of a way to end the sentence. The girls were all many drinks deep and playing a classic drinking game. Initially, Nicky had protested because she and Gigi always lots, but Jaida and Jan joked that the game would be a good way to get to know Crystal and vice versa. “God, thinking of these is so hard.”

“Come on girl, give us a crazy one!” Jan laughed, tipping a little of the vodka soda she was drinking on Jackie’s carpet. She and Jackie jumped up to get something to clean the mess.

“Something to get to know us!” Jaida goaded.

“Okay! Never...never have I ever slept with someone who works at the store!” Crystal laughed loudly. She played it off as silly but was genuinely curious about her new friends. 

Walking back from the kitchen with Jackie, Jan’s eyes flicked to Gigi quickly. Gigi sat, unmoving. A cold, hardened look was in her eyes: a message that Jan received loud and clear. They both remained silent.

“Oh, please! If any of us had slept together, I feel like I would know. I’m really good at picking up that sexually charged energy, you know?” Jackie explained to Crystal. Jan cleared her throat while Gigi shot her a look that softened into a small chuckle. 

“Plus, until Brita hires a few sexy stock men...I love you girls but I’m sorry!” Jaida’s words had a slur to them that resulted in her putting her drink down dramatically. “Wow, I drank more than I thought.” 

“And let’s be honest, if Gigi hasn’t done it, none of us have.” Nicky teased.

“You rotted bitch!” Gigi chuckled. “That is rich coming from you.”

“Oh, Nicky! Are you a hoe too?” Crystal was quickly, drunkenly happy to join in on the teasing of Gigi. Especially after all of the jests about her wardrobe. 

“Hey!” Both Nicky and Gigi exclaimed while laughing deeply. 

“Well,” Jackie began with a smirk. “I’m sure the numbers are similar between the two, but Gigi is a hoe with more genders. So if you want to know who is a bigger hoe, that’s a matter of opinion!” Gigi wacked Jackie in the arm but had taken the comment in jest. 

“You guys are so much more exciting than me! My numbers are weak.” Crystal sighed.

“Low body count? How low?” Jaida asked. The girls had already shared too much with Crystal, but the comfort level and the alcohol level was encouraging Crystal to share just as much. And the girls all had a lot they were excited to learn about her.

“One.”

“Stop!” Jackie yelled unintentionally. “You’ve only ever had sex with your boyfriend! That’s cute.”

“That’s adorable, you two sound like you’re so perfect for each other,” Nicky gushed as she reached over to squeeze Crystal’s hand. Crystal didn’t say anything, she just gave Nicky a small smile. Gigi noticed her lack of expression about the comment. 

The girls settled into a conversation about previous sexual partners and Gigi just offered comments and laughter, but not her number. There was no shame in Gigi’s game, but she just never thought it was productive to count. Besides, tonight was her chance to learn a bit more about Crystal. The goal was to find out if Crystal was serious about Nathan. They seemed, to an outsider, like a pretty good couple. But Gigi noticed little moments, actions, and discussions that made her question it. And this was the problem. In any other circumstance, Gigi would have taken this as her signal to go and she already would be figuring out a way to get Crystal alone to spit game. Something always stopped her. Jan was right. She didn’t just want to fuck Crystal. It was a crush.

Finding herself too focused on Crystal, Gigi excused herself to grab some air. Jackie didn’t have a balcony, so Gigi grabbed her sweater and jogged down the three flights of stairs to the front of Jackie’s building. The air was chilly and damp, so Gigi fiddled with the sweater and zipped the zipper. She sat on a ledge beside a garden box and took a deep breath. The closeness to someone she had a genuine crush on was difficult for Gigi. She could, and did, spend most days with Jan and there was never an issue.

_ But that wasn't the same. _

Gigi tried to push the thought to the back of her mind as the door to the building swung open. Of course, against Gigi’s prayers, Crystal was the one coming out of the building.

“Hey new girl,” Gigi sighed.

“Hey Geege,” Crystal nodded as she sat beside her.

“Too hot in there for you too?

“I just...I don’t want to talk about Nathan anymore, you know? Honestly, I was hoping to get away from him.” Crystal huffed.

_ Please, don’t tell me that, Gigi thought to herself.  _

“Are you alright?” Against her better judgement, she asked Crystal to open up. 

“Things have just been weird. For a while. The move was supposed to help, but everything just doesn’t feel like it fits. I don’t even know how to explain it to you. We’ve been together since we were like, sixteen. It’s been like eight years. But this last year…” Crystal paused. 

“Growing up is hard enough, but you guys had to grow up together  _ and _ separately.”

“Yes! Okay, you get what I’m saying. I don’t even understand what is happening sometimes. I feel like we can be doing well but then all of a sudden we are battling. Or, he is battling. Not to blame things on him.” Crystal was trying to not let Gigi think badly of Nathan.

“You’re not a fighter.” Gigi nodded.

“Maybe I should be, though.”

“I don’t think to be a lover or a fighter is inherently better. I think that we need to look for a balance. We have to pick our battles. Although don’t think I’m trying to Dr. Phil you. Taking relationship advice from me is ill-advised.” Gigi snickered at herself.

“Why?” Crystal didn’t allow the self-depreciation to sit. She asked earnestly.

“I’m not big on relationships at twenty-four. And please don’t take this as me dogging on you. Lots of people have young relationships that work out. But for me, I already sat through a degree that I really didn’t want. I sat through a lot of things I didn’t want.” Gigi shuddered.

“So you want to focus on you?” Crystal asked.

“That,” Gigi laughed. “And I am far too selfish for a relationship. Plus, I am a total mess mentally. I have no life plan. I have no idea what I want. When you’re in a long term relationship with someone, you have to plan not only for yourself but for someone else. If you can’t plan for yourself, how in the hell are you going to plan for somebody else?” 

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Crystal started fiddling in the little purse she had brought outside. “Do you want a little snack? I always have something in my bag.”

“And you called Brita mom,” Gigi mocked.

“Fruit snacks or a granola bar?” Crystal ignored Gigi’s mockery. The alcohol she had consumed throughout the night was starting to make her stomach feel a bit off, and she hoped that a little snack would help. 

“Fruit snacks,” Gigi said. Crystal opened the package and put half in one of her hands, and gave the other half to her new friend. 

“I didn’t even want to move here when Nathan brought it up, you know.“ Crystal interjected before the silence they were sharing got uncomfortable. “And now after meeting you guys, I am feeling like you’re the only good friends I’ve ever had. Not to come on too strong.”

“You’re not coming on too strong,” Gigi shook her head. “I've felt like you and I have had a connection since I trained you. I just feel bad that you moved all the way here when you didn’t want to.” 

“I didn’t know what I wanted. So I figured I should just go with Nathan.”

“You know, you sounded a lot more sure of yourself and moving when I met you on your very first shift. That sentence is basically the same thing you said on our first coffee break, but you sound more...sad.” Gigi admitted. If Crystal thought they were all fast friends, so be it. That meant she could be honest with her new friend. 

“I am a little sad tonight, Geege. I told everyone that Nathan couldn’t come, but he just hates socializing. And we fought when he dropped me off because apparently, I am annoying.” Crystal was crying, so Gigi pulled her into a side hug. She planted a small kiss on the mound of curly, blue hair.

“You are annoying. Dreadfully so,” Gigi cooed and Crystal burst into a laughing fit.

“If you haven’t had to spend hours with Gigi as your trainer, I don’t want to hear a thing about annoying.” Crystal snuggled herself further against Gigi’s shoulder. Gigi loved the feeling of holding the beautiful girl and decided at that moment that Crystal didn’t need somebody to pine after her. Crystal didn’t need someone lusting after her. She needed someone to be her best friend. And the more she got to know her, the more she felt like she could be that friend for her. Her crush would hopefully go away soon. 

“Dry your eyes, we need to head back,” Gigi commanded. “The girls are going to think we are fucking in my car or something.”

“You wish,” Crystal jabbed as she wiped her eyes off with a napkin she found in her little purse. She shoved the napkin and garbage from the fruit snacks into her bag. 

“If I wanted you,” Gigi whispered huskily in Crystal’s ear. “You would be in the back seat of my car, whimpering, right at this moment.”

“I-” Crystal tried to speak, but realized that stifling the moan that tried to escape her lips was much more important. She was overcome with the urge to grab Gigi and kiss her as hard as she possibly could. Gigi had an impossibly evil smirk plastered on her face as she wiggled her eyebrows at the disarmed woman.

Gigi laughed as she patted Crystal’s head and went back in through the front entrance into the building. Crystal took a few minutes outside before following Gigi up the stairs. Shivers were going up and down her spine for the whole rest of the night, every time she caught Gigi’s eye. The experience of being teased and tormented, it was new to Crystal. But that was just how Gigi treated everyone. She knew the way she cuddled everyone at the store, calling them all baby and talking dirty. Crystal tried not to take the flirting personally. But there was no escaping the way that Gigi gave her butterflies. She made her feel sexy for the first time in….ever. And even if Nathan was there, Crystal was allowed to feel that rush to her cheeks. She was allowed to feel delicious. It wasn't like she was cheating.

She hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for making it through another chapter! Please drop a review if you'd like! 
> 
> Cheers!


	4. When We're Dancing Nose to Nose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gigi spends a night with Crystal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More amazing feedback on the last chapter! I am just thrilled! Thank you so much! I hope this does you all proud!
> 
> Cheers!

Something was off with Crystal. It had been that way for a few weeks. But it was subtly manifesting itself because Gigi seemed to be the only one to notice it. It wasn't like she had any issues with customers or the rest of the girls. She came out when they went for drinks. She aced her bra fitting lessons with Widow. She put on a show of confidence. But something was off, and Gigi knew it. She was yawning more. She seemed to be a little less chipper when she was off the clock. Her laughter was a little bit softer. Gigi hoped that Crystal would come to her, but after those weeks, she realized she would have to take matters into her own hands. She finally had to address the subtle weirdness. 

"What do you mean what's wrong?" The two were finishing up a Tuesday evening close.  
  
"Remember when I told you that I felt we had a connection? That means I can sense when things are different. Even if you're putting up a super good front." Gigi offered a small smile. Crystal gave her a sigh in exchange.   
  
"Nathan dropped out," Crystal began. "Like he just decided he wasn't going to do this college program. Out of nowhere."  
  
"But that's the whole reason you moved here!" Gigi exclaimed.  
  
"Exactly," Crystal sighed as she tied her unruly curls up in a messy top knot.   
  
"Is that why you're not sleeping?"  
  
"How-"   
  
"Your eyes, you have sleepy eyes." Gigi shrugged.  
  
"When Nathan was in university, he got his security license. When he dropped out, he said he would get a better job, so he is doing some security stuff at night. And I just hate him being gone at night." Crystal explained.   
  
"When does he work next?"   
  
"Tonight."   
  
"Would it help your anxiety if I slept on your couch?" Gigi asked.  
  
"Oh, no, Geege, don't worry about that! It's incredibly kind of you to offer, though."  
  
"Why not? I live with my parents. I'm not going to be giving up anything exciting." Gigi laughed and Crystal smiled. Maybe it wasn't the best idea, but Gigi was an adult. She could control herself. The most important thing was to take care of her friend.  
  
"You don't have plans with Jan or anything?" Crystal asked. Gigi jumped and stopped what she was doing.   
  
"Why would I have plans with Jan?" She very abrupt: so abrupt that Crystal was caught off guard.   
  
"You...you guys hang out a lot, right?" Crystal looked so confused that Gigi realized Crystal wasn't implying anything.   
  
"Yes! Yes, we hang out a lot. She's like, my best friend. But she had a date tonight. So I am free to snuggle up at your place!" Gigi got back to work so they could get their close done faster, and to sidestep her outburst. "We just have to stop off at my house so I can get my toothbrush and my work stuff cause I'm back here tomorrow afternoon."  
  
"You don't have any idea how much this means to me, Geege." Crystal couldn't stop herself from welling up. Things had not been going well, and it was nice to be reminded again how much her new friends loved her. Especially Gigi.  
  
**  
  
"Do you care if I grab a quick shower? Is that awkward? It was hot in the store tonight." Crystal and Gigi had settled into a comfortable evening of Netflix and snacking. It was so pleasant and felt so safe that Crystal wished she had asked for the company sooner.   
  
"Why would that be awkward?" Gigi laughed. "I was gonna ask to use your shower too."  
  
"I don't have friends over often! I don't want to just leave you sitting here. I felt like that would be weird."  
  
"I'll just do my eyebrows while you shower. I have a few strays that are driving me up the wall." Crystal thanked Gigi for her company and lack of awkwardness. She grabbed a towel and face-cloth for herself and threw one of each to Gigi for when she showered. Crystal and Nathan's small apartment only had one bathroom.   
  
As Crystal adjusted the water and stepped in the shower, she heard the door open.  
  
"Geege?" She yelled out over the water.   
  
"Yeah! Did I startle you?" Gigi yelled back with a giggle.   
  
"I mean I wasn't expecting anyone in here," she returned Gigi's giggle. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I just decided I didn't want to sit out there alone," Gigi said simply. Crystal peeked out from behind the curtain and saw Gigi sitting on the closed toilet, plucking her eyebrows in the reflection of a small compact mirror. Gigi noticed Crystal looking and smiled at her. "Is this awkward?"  
  
"No, it's weirdly comforting. I hate being alone. I think it's just because I've had Nathan for so long. I'm not usually on my own. It's nice having you on my toilet Geege." Crystal said.   
  
"I'm available for toilet sitting whenever you need me."  
  
"Do you like to be alone?" Gigi put the tweezers down and tilted her head toward Crystal in the shower. The question had surprised her.  
  
"How so?"   
  
"Do you like being alone?" Crystal repeated herself, not clarifying.   
  
"That's a broad question. I mean I like to have my space. I like to have some silence. I like to be single. I like my own world. But I did get bored the thirty-two seconds I was sitting in your living room, so take that as you will. I don't know if that answers your question though because you didn't clarify what you were asking!" Gigi explained.   
  
"Would you ever date someone long term?"   
  
"That person would have to be pretty fucking special! I would have to like them more than I like my freedom." Gigi said. She left out the part that she would consider a cliche monogamous relationship if it was with Crystal. The water in the shower turned off but Crystal didn't leave the shower.  
  
"Geege, close your eyes okay? I'm getting out."  
  
"Think I'm gonna be all over you if I see you naked?" Gigi laughed.   
  
"No, I just wouldn't want to subject you to seeing me naked." Crystal peeked her head out and frowned at Gigi. "Your eyes are still open!"  
  
"Subject me," Gigi scoffed as she dramatically closed her eyes. "Do you even know how sexy you are?"  
  
"Oh, shut up."  
  
"I'm not saying this to be polite, Crys."  
  
"You are!"  
  
"Crystal, you are so hot. You have a gorgeous body and I would have fucked you in that shower, had you given me the opportunity and consent." Crystal felt all of the blood in her body rush to her cheeks as she tightly wrapped a towel around herself.  
  
**  
  
Crystal decided to abandon her bed and sleep on one of her two couches in the living room. She appreciated Gigi's company so much and she felt like it was weird to ask her to sleep out in an unfamiliar living room alone. The room was dark, comfortable, and warm, but both girls found themselves awake.   
  
"Seriously Crys, you have the best shower of all time," Gigi spoke quietly into the dark living room. "The water pressure is delicious."  
  
"I love it too." Crystal whispered back. The two girls fell into a silence that Gigi knew wasn't overly comfortable.   
  
"What's on your mind, babe?"  
  
"Would you fuck me?" Crystal spoke louder.  
  
"What?!" Gigi sat up and stared at her friend. "In the bathroom, I literally told you I would! Why are you asking me that?"   
  
"How do you know when a relationship is over? How do you date someone? How do you know you're sexually appealing? How do you date? How do you fix things with someone? How do you know how to help someone when they don't tell you?" Crystal's mind was racing, so Gigi offered to make a pot of tea and help her calm down. The couches were visible from Crystal's small kitchen, so they could share their conversation while Gigi made tea.  
  
"I need you to walk me through what you're thinking." Gigi wanted to support her friend, but the question cascade was too much to answer all at once. "One question at a time, we can talk this out."  
  
"Things are bad Gigi," Crystal finally allowed herself to start crying. Quickly, Gigi was kneeling beside her friend and holding her hand. "Don't get me wrong. I love my job. I love you guys. But I didn't want to move. But I did because I didn't know what I wanted. And now it turns out he doesn't know what he wants. Which would be fine if he wasn't so angry about it!"  
  
"He's angry?"   
  
"At the world! The few conversations we have had lately just become fights. How do you know when to fight and when to stick around?" Gigi sighed deeply at the question.   
  
"I wish I had an answer for you. Relationships are brutal. I don't know Nathan, but I know you. I don't want you to just get ragged on by some stupid boy. But I know there is a history, and you wouldn't have spent eight years if there wasn't a reason," Gigi said.  
  
"Nobody else would settle for me." Crystal sighed.   
  
"Stop."  
  
"I'm not being self-deprecating! Nathan knows me and all my bullshit. I can't imagine someone else putting up with me." The tears that were falling before were falling doubly fast as Crystal moved from crying to sobbing.  
  
"Crystal. Anybody would be lucky to be with you. You're stunning. You're edgy. You're hilarious. You're kind. You're every good adjective! Relationships are hard but this self-loathing is just going to make it worse." Gigi had gotten into the couch and pulled Crystal into a tight hug.   
  
"He doesn't want to kiss me or fuck me or anything. What else am I supposed to think?"   
  
"That's his issue right now. That has nothing to do with you. You're so sexy. It's just a rough patch, it doesn't mean anything about you." Gigi felt tears welling up in her eyes. She still had yet to meet Nathan, but the more she heard, the less interested she was in doing so. It was clear that she was hearing about him at his worst, but that wasn't an excuse to make anyone feel as bad as he had made Crystal feel.   
  
"I feel so gross all the time. And this is what I do when my best friend is over! I'm such a bummer." Crystal tightened her arms around Gigi.  
  
"This is what best friends are here for."   
  
"It's frustrating," Crystal sighed, trying to stop her sobs.  
  
"I bet. I wish I could give you a solution."   
  
"Honestly, just having you listen has been so freeing. I don't have anyone else to talk to about this stuff." Crystal looked into Gigi's eyes and felt her cheeks flush deeply. The beautiful girl had let her ramble on about her boyfriend and never made her feel stupid. She noticed the softness of Gigi's skin and the tears in her blue eyes. Something came over Crystal, and she found herself leaning in toward Gigi. She had wanted comfort and Gigi was there. She had wanted support and Gigi was there. She leaned in, hoping to capture Gigi's mouth with hers, but Gigi turned her head.  
  
"Not like this," was all Gigi said, in a whisper. She kissed her best friend on the forehead and went back to finish making tea.   
  
**  
  
"Gigi?" Jan said as she opened the door to her apartment the next night. Gigi didn't say anything. She just grabbed Jan and pulled her into a deep, hungry kiss. They did not break the kiss as they stumbled fully into Jan's apartment. Gigi closed and locked the door.  
  
"How was your date last night?" Gigi asked as she slipped Jan's top off.  
  
"Really?" Jan laughed ask she nuzzled into Gigi's neck, kissing and biting.   
  
"What?! Just because I need you doesn't mean I shouldn't be polite!"  
  
"The date sucked," Jan admitted as she slid her bra off and tossed it on the floor. 

"Then you must have been hoping I would show up," Gigi growled as she grabbed both of Jan's arms and pinned them above her head. She kissed Jan deeply, biting her lower lip.  
  
"Fuck," Jan moaned. "You're riled up tonight."   
  
"I don't hear you complaining," Gigi whispered in Jan's ear, nibbling on it after she spoke.  
  
"Definitely not, Miss Goode," Jan giggled. "Why don't we take this to my bedroom?"   
  
"Nope," Gigi smirked. She quickly slid Jan's joggers and panties down, putting her hand between her thighs.   
  
"Oh, fuck, okay," Jan gasped as she realized what was about to happen.  
  
**  
  
"Not that I don't love to see you," Jan began as the two sat on her balcony together, looking at the stars. "But are you alright?"  
  
"How could I not be? That was delicious." Gigi smirked, wiggling her eyebrows. Jan rolled her eyes.  
  
"That's not what I meant, and you know it."  
  
"I don't know what you mean." Jan leaned her head on Gigi's shoulder.   
  
"I talked to Crystal. She said you slept at her house yesterday." Jan said.   
  
"Okay?" Gigi wasn't sure what Crystal would have told her. Did she mention their not-kiss?  
  
"I've never seen you more smitten with someone. It must have been weird to sleepover at her house." Jan said simply.  
  
"I like her. Genuinely. Like she is fast becoming one of my best friends."   
  
"We both know how you like to treat your friends though, Gee." Jan let out a snort as she spoke.  
  
"Very, very well, judging by the orgasms you just had." Gigi nudged Jan who laughed hard.  
  
"You're crazy. I just want to make sure that you're alright. I love you a lot. I'm proud of you for just being there for her and not letting her make any mistakes. But I just worry." Jan said, and Gigi realizes she must have shared their almost-kiss.   
  
"Look, we both know I like her," Gigi admitted. "But that's the issue. When do I catch feelings? Let alone for a friend! Let alone a friend who has a boyfriend! Let alone a friend who has a boyfriend who is a total dickhead! I'm out of my depths with her. But I'm not willing to lose our friendship over this, you know?"  
  
"You're so cute." Jan giggled, clapping her hands. "I'm so proud of you, not pulling any of your usual Gigi stunts. Come on emotional maturity!"  
  
"Maturity, please," Gigi laughed. "I came over to take my sexual frustrations out on you."  
  
"I took my residual frustration from my shitty date out on you," Jan laughed. "Nobody's perfect."  
  
"Thanks," Gigi said quietly, snuggling against Jan.  
  
"For?"  
  
"Letting me be vulnerable." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking around this far! I would love to hear what you're thinking, so drop a review if you'd like! :)
> 
> Cheers!


	5. And I'm Left With All the Messes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drunk girls night out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, thank you so much for all of the amazing responses. I cannot believe all the love you guys are sending. This is unreal. Thank you so much!
> 
> Just a note, trigger warning on this chapter for sexual assault mention. It is not severe or explicit, but it is there, so be advised. 
> 
> Cheers!

Crystal loved going out for a drink with her friends from work. It was a great time to decompress and spend time with the people she loved, without the store being at the forefront of everyone’s mind. She could laugh with the most lovely people she knew while relaxing. It had become a thing for the younger staff at Brita’s to go out as a group almost every week. Nathan was fairly irritated whenever Crystal went, but she was quickly losing patience for his anger - it’s not like he would be home anyway, with his night shifts becoming more consistent. He just was becoming very jealous. 

The girls had begun to make it a point to celebrate all of Crystal’s monthiversaries at the store. It was more of an excuse to party together than anything. It was Jackie’s idea to continue the monthly parties specifically in Crystal’s honour because she knew how lonely the move had made her, so any excuse to make her feel special was important. All of the girls knew what Jackie was doing, but of course, they didn’t mention it to Crystal.

Monthaversary party five was at a small, dingy karaoke bar. And it was the drunkest Crystal had ever seen Gigi. She had worked a particularly difficult shift with Nina and Widow, staying very late and not having a break for lunch. Perhaps the lack of food in her stomach made her get drunker than she had intended. Perhaps it was the stress from the workday that got more vodka sodas into her hand than usual. Thankfully, Jan had Gigi’s car and had been the designated driver for both Gigi and Crystal. 

“We are going to have to do something extra special for next month,” Nicky squealed. “That’s half a year!”

“This is pretty special,” Jaida laughed gesturing up to the karaoke machine. Gigi was loudly yelling the lyrics to  _ Take on Me _ with an atrocious, full-bodied falsetto. 

“I love drunk Gigi.” Jackie laughed. 

“This is drunk even for drunk Gigi,” Jan laughed. 

“You’re just mad she can give us those high pitched notes!” Crystal teased. With the summer starting, Jan was committed to her soccer team but was considering going out for a community theatre troupe. She was trying to convince Gigi to design costumes for credit in her design courses, and Crystal to paint sets just for fun.

“Oh, I am not here for any cliche drunk karaoke choice,” Jan said with a laugh.

“You’re not looking for Phantom of the Opera on the karaoke machine!” Jackie yelled as she jumped up and waved a parental, disapproving finger in Jan’s face. Nicky and Jaida agreed that she would never be invited again if she attempted any musical theatre, or made any puns about  _ Jantom _ of the opera. 

“Are you going to go up there?” Nicky asked. She had already sung her song before she got tipsy, as she hated the idea of embarrassing herself. Jaida agreed to be the designated driver for Nicky and Jackie, as long as they didn’t force her to sing. Jackie and Crystal had yet to comment and they all knew Jan would at least sing one song.

“Maybe!” Crystal laughed, sipping her second drink of the night.

“Depends on how many of those you have?” Jackie teased.

“Depends on how busy this place is,” Crystal corrected. The dingy bar was a local favourite, despite its grunge. That meant a steady flow of people would be coming in and out throughout the night. Crystal resolved that if the traffic decided to slow down, she might sing.

“Seriously though, it’s half a year for Crystal at the boutique next month,” Nicky reminded everyone of their previous conversation. 

“How can that even be?” Jackie asked incredulously. "It feels like it was just yesterday that you fumbled into the boutique with your resume, looking for the owner.”

“Brita wasn’t there that day, was she?” Jaida tried to recall.

“Nope, it was just me,” Jackie said. “I actually set up the interview for Brita and Crys.”

“What made you pass me on?” Crystal asked. “You saw my resume, you know I had no experience.”

“First,” Jackie said with a strict matter-of-fact voice. “Restaurant experience is very good for retail. Nobody knows how to keep smiling while getting kicked in the crotch like a waitress. Do you want good customer service? You look for a waitress.” 

“I came from food too,” Jaida nodded.

“Yeah well, there are people with bad service that also are waitresses!” Nicky joked, earning an eye roll from Jaida. 

“Second, I liked the way you spoke. You made some dad joke, I don’t remember what you said, but I remember you made me laugh.” 

“That’s so sweet!” Crystal gushed. “And now we’re all here.”

“I basically built this group of friends with my own excellent judgement,” Jackie said while jokingly, condescending patting Crystal’s hand.

“Thank you for your keen eye,” Crystal responded with a false solemn tone. The girls laughed as Gigi stumbled back to the table, two vodka sodas in her hand. Crystal noticed how gorgeous she looked in her black high-rise skinny jeans and red cotton halter top. Her blonde hair had been thrown up in a bouncy ponytail to accommodate how hot she was getting while she drank. But, it looked cute with her flushed, tipsy cheeks. 

“How was I?” Gigi asked, at a volume much higher than she intended.

“Oh, beautiful Gigi,” Jackie laughed. “I heard people asking if you wanted a recording contract.”

“Fuck off,” Gigi laughed.

“Who is your other drink for?” Nicky asked as Gigi drank one of the drinks in two gulps.

“Me,” Gigi laughed as she finished the first drink just as fast as the had taken down the first drink. Gigi clapped her hands together and grabbed Jan, dragging her out to the area in front of the karaoke machine, where people had gathered to dance and cheer on whoever was singing. 

“Chile, this is about to be a wild night,” Jaida laughed.

**

The drive to Crystal’s apartment at 2 am took as long as Jan had anticipated because she was a smart girl who knew that Gigi would demand fast-food fries, and she had planned for it. She knew how her drunk best friend operated. Jan had loud music playing, yelling along as the three girls bopped to 90s pop jams and ate the hot fries out of the bag.

“Do you need help getting up to your place and settled in?” Jan asked as they pulled up to Crystal and Nathan’s building.

“No, I’m okay,” Crystal said and she thanked Jan for her kind offer.

“Is Nathan home tonight?” Gigi asked and Crystal shook her head while letting out a snort.

“Is he ever? Of course not.” 

“Do you want me to stay?” Gigi asked, and Jan was concerned about the tone in her voice. Much more lustful than Jan would have liked to hear out of her best friend. 

“Gee, I have your car, silly girl. The plan was for you to stay at my house.” Jan reminded. 

“I can take Nathan’s car and drive you over to Jan’s tomorrow?” Crystal squealed. “Yes, you should stay over!”

“Gee,” Jan said softly.

“Don’t be jealous,” Gigi teased in a whispering voice.

“This is a bad idea,” Jan stated bluntly to Gigi as Crystal jumped out of the car and knocked on Gigi’s window, yelling for her to come out of the car.

“It’s fine,” Gigi reassured.

“You’re drunk. She’s drunk.” Jan was extremely concerned for her friend. They had spent a lot of time talking through her crush on Crystal. Gigi had spent other nights at Crystal’s but she had been sober. Jan was not jealous. She didn’t want either girl to do something they would regret in the morning.

“I like her, remember?” Gigi laughed. “I’m not spending our first night together drunk. When I fuck her, I’m going to be sober. When I fuck her, it’s going to mean something.”

“God, I love that. You’re so cute.” Jan sighed with a smile. “Fine, you’re an adult. You can stay here. But I am picking you both up first thing tomorrow for brunch. We don’t need to ask Nathan to lend her his car.”

“I love you,” Gigi said, squeezing Jan’s hand. 

“I know baby.” 

**

The two girls snuggled into their familiar couches. With Nathan working his nights, Gigi had been spending a lot of nights there. She had been more or less splitting her time between Jan’s and Crystal’s, which she didn’t mind. It was nice to be around her best friends, and both of them were always willing to help her with any of her coursework for her classes. Gigi was silently hoping when Jan’s lease was up for renewal, either they could find a two-bedroom together or Brooke Lynne would give up her room and Gigi could take that space. For the time being though, she loved her little spot on Crystal’s couch.

“It was so fun seeing you sing today, Geege!” Crystal giggled from under a mountain of blankets. Gigi had made sure they both removed their makeup, washed their face, and brushed their teeth before snuggling up. Even drunk, she didn’t want wrinkles or cavities. 

“I  _ must _ be drunk,” Gigi laughed. “Karaoke is never my jam.”

“It must have been good to not have to drive.”

“I like driving,” Gigi explained. “It’s why I usually offer. Everyone else more or less takes turns, but I like it. I would always rather be the one to drive. Plus, drunk wrangling is fun.”

“Is it a control thing?” Crystal asked.

“Maybe.” Gigi shrugged. “Maybe I am just the best driver of our little friend group.”

“You’re a good driver, maybe just a bit fast.” Crystal teased.

“Oh fuck you!” Gigi laughed. “I am the best.”

“You are the best,” Crystal agreed softly. “Thank you for always staying here.”

“I gotta take care of my girl,” Gigi winked at Crystal.

“You always take care of me. My crying, my sleeplessness, you’ve been there for all of it for the last five months! I appreciate it Geege. I love you.” Crystal said, and before she could stop herself, Gigi found her eyes welling up with tears. She wanted so earnestly to hear Crystal say I love you but to mean it romantically. 

“Geege! Are you okay?” Crystal had yet to see her best friend sob. This was going to be the very first time she saw Gigi’s shoulders shake, her nose sniffle, and her eyes grow red with pain. A dull headache was growing behind Gigi’s eyes, which was only made worse by her crying.

“I’m fine,” Gigi sniffed, trying to catch the sobs before it became a breakdown. 

“You’re bawling!” Crystal scurried over to the kitchen to grab Gigi a glass of water. She returned and Gigi gulped it down in a few sips.

“Thank you,” she whispered. The water didn’t stop the sobs. 

“Baby! What’s going on? Talk to me.”

“I don’t even know! I am just emotional tonight!” Gigi earnestly cried and felt very confused about everything. “Life is hard.”

“I get that,” Crystal said. She sat on the end of the couch and patted her friend.

“What in the world am I going to do with my life, you know? I love the fashion thing, but school is overwhelming. And I’m only going part-time! But the balance is hard. And I feel lonely. Obviously not lonely really because I have you and Jan and the girls, but like you have Nathan and Jan is going on dates now which is extra weird.” Gigi sighed. She realized that her comfort level with Crystal was becoming bad for her secrecy about Jan. It wasn’t uncomfortable because of the sex. It was uncomfortable to deliberately not share something with Crystal. Gigi made a mental note to talk to Jan about the whole situation... if she remembered the next morning. 

“The Gigi Goode wants to settle down!” Crystal said excitedly.

“No! Maybe… I don’t know Crystal. I think in my old age I am beginning to see the appeal. But I’ve only ever had one long term relationship. And I can never have anything like that again.” Gigi shuddered. 

“You never talk about you big ex.” Crystal said, handing Gigi a box of tissues she grabbed from the coffee table. 

“Yeah,” Gigi agreed while drying her eyes. 

“Do you want to?” Crystal was giving her the floor but was fairly sure she would not be interested. She had been warned about asking about exes. Jan made it clear that it was bad, and not to get into it unless Gigi started the conversation.

“Not really. Let’s just say some people don’t take no for an answer, even boyfriends.” New tears were forming in Gigi’s red eyes. “But that’s all I want to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything else.” Tears were running down Crystal’s cheeks as well. The idea that someone could hurt her best friend in that way made her blood run cold and a mound of anger swell up in her chest. But Gigi didn’t want to talk about it. So she decided instead that it was her job to lay on top of Gigi and envelop her into a big hug. 

“Jan says I should see a therapist, but it’s been years.” Gigi sighed.

“There isn’t a timeline on healing and grief and pain, Gigi! People get therapy for things that happened decades ago. I think that’s a really good idea if you want. It is still bothering you - which is valid obviously. But that means there is still time to fix it. If that makes sense. I’m drunk so I’ll give better advice tomorrow.” Crystal snuggled against Gigi’s body and held her tight.

“This is why I usually don’t get this drunk!” Gigi yelled unintentionally. “I turn into a crybaby even though nothing actually happened. I’m crying about him, and school, and my feelings for you.”

“What?” At the same time, Crystal and Gigi realized exactly what had been said.

“What?” Gigi tried to play it off as much as possible, hoping that drunk Crystal would either miss what she said or be too drunk to press the issue.

“What does that mean?”

“What?” 

“Gigi, come on, you just said that you had feelings for me.” Crystal whispered. “Do you?”

“I may have a little crush on the new girl at work,” Gigi admitted. “But, it’s going to pass. I know me. It’s fine. I don’t want you to not be my friend.”

“You have a crush? On me?” Crystal clarified. Gigi’s tears returned as Crystal broke the silence by bursting into laugher.

“What the fuck?” Gigi had never had her feelings for someone laughed at.

“I can’t believe it! You’re a model Geege. You look like the girls who kicked my ass in high school. You look like you could be a movie star. You look like the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in real life or on TV! You have a crush on  _ me _ ?”

“Okay, fuck-head!” Gigi laughed. “I said it was a little crush, first of all. And second, I never said that I had good taste.”

“Wow!” Crystal laughed back. “I’m kidding. It’s sweet. It’s weird for me because, again, you’re hot. As long as it doesn’t make you uncomfortable.”

“No, trust me. I have had many mini-crushes and many friends with benefits. It’ll pass. And I love you too much to let a crush become a thing. As long as this isn’t weird for you, I just accidentally blurted it out, so I am sorry.” Gigi was relieved to feel Crystal snuggle against her. Crystal didn’t move. Crystal didn’t flinch. She was shocked to have such a beautiful girl into her, but as far as Gigi knew, nothing was going to change. It was a relief.

On the other hand, Crystal felt her heart racing. Despite herself, despite her boyfriend, although they worked together, although everything would be completely fucked up if she admitted it….Crystal also had a crush on her best friend. She had never felt like this about another girl. She had maybe never even felt like this about Nathan. 

As Gigi dozed off, feeling relieved, Crystal sat awake wondering what the fuck to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gigi was taking care of Ceystal a lot....it was Crystal's turn this time!
> 
> Thank you again, guys! I hope you guys are still liking this! Drop a review if you feel so inclined. Thank you again for reading!!
> 
> Cheers!


	6. Sad But True...It's True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan and Crystal fight.
> 
> Trigger warning for the "d" slur, and some implied homophobia and if that's something that bothers you, I wanted you to know, it is there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The feedback!! It's so unbelievable!! You guys have no idea how happy this makes me. Thank you so much! This chapter is in a bit of a different direction from the previous ones, so I hope I don't disappoint!
> 
> Cheers!

As Crystal’s first anniversary at Brita’s Boutique approached, she noticed that a lot of things in her life had changed. Brita hired another associate, Heidi, and Crystal was able to help train her. Widow and her husband decided to have a family, which meant moving and Jackie getting the Second Assistant Manager title. Widow leaving was a shakeup that had hit the girls very hard, but Jackie moved into the role very smoothly and easily. Crystal felt safe and warm with her friends, finally. Crystal also way making her apartment feel more like home. She had the walls decorated with her art and photography, and the furniture covered in pillows that Jan, Jaida, and Gigi had all made with Gigi for one of her classes. 

The only thing that hadn’t changed… or rather, had changed for the worse, was Nathan. They slept in the same bed, they shared most meals that they ate at home, they tried to go on dates, but there was nothing left. All conversations eventually fell into fights. Crystal couldn’t explain to anyone in-depth, why she was still with Nathan. Her friends had stopped asking her why she stayed, instead, they just let her vent and gave her space to feel her feelings. But something kept her tethered to Nathan. Maybe it was the length of time they were together. Maybe it was the fact that she didn’t know where she would live if they broke up. Maybe it was the fear that she had spent years on something that didn’t work. Maybe it was the sense of failure that she really couldn’t make a relationship work. Maybe it was the fear that Nathan would be lost without her. She couldn’t articulate it. But she felt tethered to him. 

Also, Nathan was angry. Nathan was gone way more than he would be if he was just going to work. Nathan hardly spoke to Crystal without fighting. The tether was there, but it felt more and more like a bear trap.

“What are you getting up to tonight?” Nathan asked one night out of nowhere. Crystal was surprised to have such an innocuous conversation with Nathan.

“Nothing special! I am probably going to just hang out here.” Crystal said, with a light excitement in her voice. A pleasant conversation with her boyfriend was due.

“Is  _ she _ going to be here?” Nathan’s voice was dark.

“She?”

“Your girlfriend,” he said with a roll of his eyes. 

“Come on,” Crystal pleaded. “Not tonight. Can we please not do this tonight? I can’t have this fight anymore.”

“Is she going to be here?” He repeated. Crystal, months ago, had mentioned Gigi’s harmless crush to Nathan. She figured it was good to share and be open with her boyfriend. However, he had unreasonably expected her to quit her job and avoid Gigi at all costs. And the worst part was that Crystal did try to appease Nathan. She didn’t quit the job that she adored, but she did try to take space from Gigi. But Crystal couldn’t. Crystal couldn’t function without her best friend. As Jan had explained to Crystal, Nathan really should have been able to trust Crystal. And even though Gigi lied and said she had moved on from her crush and Crystal had tried desperately to explain this to Nathan, there was still anger.

“Yes,” Crystal admitted. “You work nights. I hate being here alone.”

“I don’t fucking buy it, Crystal. I don’t.” Nathan got up from his seat. He slammed the cup he was drinking out of against the table and stormed out of the room.

“See, what’s fucked up about that is that I have never done anything to make you not trust me. Nothing. I even told you about my friend’s tiny crush  _ months ago _ . And yet you disappear at night, even when you aren’t working, and you won’t talk to me about it.” Crystal had followed Nathan into their room. It was finally time to air what was killing her inside.

“Turn it around on me, that’s great. Mature.”

“How is that possibly immature? It’s a valid question.”

“No, it’s you trying to get attention away from that fucking dyke being in my house,” Nathan spat angrily in her face.

“Don’t call her that!” Crystal screamed. She felt the anger in her chest and the heat rising in her cheeks. All the months of avoiding confrontation were about to fly out the window. All it took was a slur being tossed out at Gigi’s name.

“Scream at me, defend her. That’s exactly what I expected. You love that cunt more than you’ve ever loved me.”

“She treats me better than you’ve treated me in years,” Crystal screamed, realizing that it probably was the wrong approach. The anger that flashed across Nathan’s face made Crystal feel a bit scared. 

“Fuck you, Crystal.”

“Fuck you, Nathan! This whole mess exists because of you.” Now that she was airing the laundry, it was time to air it all.

“Oh, here we go! Pour out all the resentment. Blame me for your mediocrity, then cry your dyke toy. You’ve kept us around just for our validation. You get your boyfriend and the girl that’s obsessed with you. You have us both to lift you up. You have us both to fuck.” The tears were hot in Crystal’s eyes and falling fast. 

“How dare you?” It was all that she could muster.

“I’m not fucking wrong. You know I’m not.” Nathan was directly in Crystal’s face.

“You are so wrong. For many fucking reasons. Let alone the fact that you haven’t fucked me in months. But you cheapen the friendship of the only person who made this journey here good for me. Because you sure as shit did everything in your power to make this worse!” Nathan stood his ground in Crystal’s face until he genuinely knew she wasn’t going to back down either. He ended up being the one to break the contact, turning on his heels, grabbing his bag for work, and slamming the door behind him. As he left, Crystal silently walked over to the door and locked it, the angry slam still ringing in her ear. Once she couldn’t hear his footsteps echoing in the hall any longer, she slid down against the door, letting full sobs envelop her.

**

A familiar knock rang out against Crystal’s front door. Crystal knew Gigi’s knock by heart. Gigi had arrived so late due to being one of the girls on duty closing the store. Their routine was that when Gigi had to close, she would chipperly bring some sort of snack, chatter about the day with her best friend, take her time in Crystal’s shower, and then snuggle up on their couches for a peaceful night. Even though Gigi had ended up moving in with Jan once Brooke Lynn’s lease had expired, they had continued their routine. Crystal had spent nights at Gigi and Jan’s place, but their “Nathan-is-gone-I’ll-keep-you-company” nights just felt so right in Crystal’s space.

“Hey baby,” Gigi exclaimed, holding a bag of fast-food fries. Once she caught Crystal’s face, her face fell.

“Hey, Geege.” Crystal sighed. “Fries? Great. I’m starving.”

“Baby, are you okay?” Crystal settled down on her set couch, but instead of settling down on her set couch, Gigi sat beside Crystal.

“What else is new? Fought with Nathan.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Gigi placed her hand on Crystal’s thigh and leaned her head on Crystal’s shoulder. Crystal snuggled against Gigi.

“What is there to talk about? We fight, I stay with him, I’m a moron.” Crystal sighed.

“I don’t think it’s quite as simple as all that,” Gigi chuckled, squeezing Crystal’s thigh. “These are all facts. You’re together. You fight a lot. You’re a total moron. Illiterate even. But those things aren’t relevant to each other.”

“There is no way around it Geege, staying with him is stupid. I feel like a complete douche, talking to you guys all the time. Oh, Nathan this. Oh, Nathan that. I have nothing else to say.” Crystal finally allowed herself to resume the crying that she had started earlier that night. 

“This relationship is all you’ve known since you were 16, Crys. Nobody blames you for being confused. And nobody talks shit about your worries, I promise. And you know that I would tell you.” Gigi said. “Nobody thinks you’re a baby. Everyone just feels bad.”

“You all should talk shit.” Crystal wiped her tears, but it was fairly useless as new tears just took their place. 

“Crystal, seriously. You have to stop. This isn’t a thing. You are struggling. You moved here with him and nothing else. And you only see the good in everyone.” Gigi moved her hand to Crystal’s unruly blue curls, stroking them softly.

“It’s getting harder to see the good in him. He-” Crystal paused when she realized she almost let slip what Nathan had called Gigi. “Do you like Nathan?”

“I’ve met him like, twice. I couldn’t tell you any opinion.” Gigi lied.

“Be honest.”

“Of course I don’t, Crys,” Gigi admitted.

“Why?”

“Because he makes you cry so much. He makes you feel like garbage. He is angry and says mean shit to you all the time. He doesn’t touch you! If you were my girlfriend-” Gigi began, but she replaced her words with a soft sigh. “I don’t like him.”

“Thank you for telling me, finally,” Crystal mumbled.

“I don’t know what you want from me Crys,” Gigi said earnestly. “What do I do with this? How could I like the guy who has you, and treats you badly? And how do I look you in the face and say I hate him? After everything between you and me... You’d think I was just jealous.”

“Are you?” All of Crystal’s fears were gone. 

“Am I jealous?” Gigi asked, incredulously.

“Yes. Are you jealous?” There was an earnestness in her voice that sent a chill down Gigi’s spine. She wasn’t sure how to answer the question. A few months previous, she had lied to Crystal and assured her that the little crush had long since passed. She knew then that Crystal probably didn’t believe her.

“Yes, of course,” Gigi said, almost with anger in her voice.

“You said that was gone,” Crystal pressed.

“Well, it isn’t,” Gigi said coldly. 

“Then why would you say it was?” Crystal stood up from her seat and turned to face Gigi. Her temper was rising, but she couldn’t explain why.

“Because you have a fucking boyfriend, Crystal! What do you want? Do you want me to incessantly pine over you forever? Do you want me to ask you out? Do you want me to ditch everyone and obsess over you? Believe me, I tried to move on. I fucked my way through many people in the last few months.” Gigi was incredibly angry at the tone that Crystal was taking. She felt it was out of bounds for Crystal to be angry when she was trying to desperately not cause problems for Crystal.

“That isn’t my fault,” Crystal yelled as Gigi stood up to get back into Crystal’s face.

“I didn’t say it was! But you don’t understand the shit I’ve dealt with, trying to give you your space and time through all of this. And you get mad that I lied and told you I was over you? You have no right.” Gigi turned to face Crystal, watching tears of anger and sadness fall. Those same tears were coming from Gigi’s eyes as well. 

“As if this has been easy for me!” Crystal laughed. “It’s so great that the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on had a crush on me. Someone who made me question my sexuality. Someone who treats me significantly better than the man who is supposed to love me. I’m falling for someone who isn’t my boyfriend, Geege. It’s not fucking easy for me either.”

“You’re what?” Gigi gasped.

“Oh, grow up!” Crystal yelled. “Who wouldn’t? Who wouldn’t question everything when the beautiful Gigi Goode expresses feelings for them? How many of my fights with Nathan are about him being jealous of you? And he has a reason!”

“I didn’t know that,” Gigi mumbled.

“Well! Now you do!” Crystal sighed as she slumped down into the seat she had recently lept up from. Gigi matched her energy and slumped down beside Crystal. 

However, Gigi gave up on their pained, pining energy, and quickly pulled Crystal’s face against hers in a deep kiss. The kiss was taking the place of the words that they both did not know how to put together. Gigi pushed herself against Crystal until she was on top of her, grinding against her. Crystal only took her lips off of Gigi to pull her top off, and eventually to take Gigi’s off. Both girls knew that this was probably not the best idea. Both girls had interchanging moments of apprehension, but neither stopped. Neither stopped when their bras were removed, biting each other’s breasts, leaving kisses down their necks and collar bones. Neither stopped as Crystal pushed Gigi up, continuing to kiss her as she slid the dark jeans she was wearing onto the floor. Neither stopped as Crystal put her fingers on Gigi’s thighs, tracing them up to her panties, feeling how aroused Gigi was. They did not pause until Crystal asked Gigi if she wanted to take it to her bed.

“Are you sure?” Gigi breathed heavily, knowing that the answer might be no but hoping it would be yes.

“Yes,” Crystal moaned into Gigi’s mouth as she bit and pulled on Gigi’s lower lip.

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

**

Both girls lay beside each other silently. There were many questions, but neither of them could find the words. Once the heat and passion had subsided, they were left with the reality of what had transpired. Crystal had slept with someone else. Gigi had become her best friend’s side piece. Hastily, Gigi excused herself to go have a shower. She grabbed the towel she needed, trying to hide her face, in case the tears that were threatening to fall, fell. 

“What the fuck did I do?” Gigi thought to herself as she turned the water on.

“What the fuck did I do?” Gigi thought to herself, as she remembered declaring to Jan that when she finally slept with Crystal, it would be meaningful.

“What the fuck did I do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! We have finally come full circle! Thank you so much for reading, and please stick with me!! I SWEAR it won't be this sad forever!!
> 
> Cheers!


	7. Damn it All, Darling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jan comforts Gigi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so excited that you guys really liked the last chapter! It was the one I was the most nervous about, so I couldn't be happier with the responses! This is a bit more angst for your quarantined souls, so I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Cheers!

Jan was hardly awake when she heard her phone ring. Assuming Brita was calling her to pick up a shift, she felt around on her bedside table. She brushed her tired fingers against her glasses, a water bottle and two different pairs of earrings before finding her phone. When she finally forced her eyes open, she saw that it was just after six in the morning. However, it wasn't Brita calling.

"Gigi?" Jan was pleased it wasn't Brita so she could keep her tired voice and not feign professionalism.

"Jan, I fucked up. I’m coming home. I fucked up." Gigi sounded panicked. This got Jan to shoot up from her bed, careful to not wake the girl beside her.

"Baby, are you safe? What's going on?" 

"I'm safe, I'm sorry to freak you out. But _I'm_ freaking out. I made a big mistake, I think. I don't think. Honestly, I don't know. Fuck, Jan." The panicking was slowly turning into crying. 

"Okay, what happened? Talk to me." Jan slid her purple Terry cloth robe on, leaving the bedroom, closing the door behind her as quietly as possible.

"I know it's early. I know. I'm sorry but I need you." Now, Gigi had passed crying. She was sobbing. Jan thought about the sleeping beauty in her bed, but it didn't matter. Her best friend needed her.

"Yeah of course. But you have to breathe. Are you driving? You sound like you're on your Bluetooth. If you're driving you gotta pull over. I don't want you to drive like this." Jan said.

"No, I'm ok." Gigi whimpered.

"Pull over until you're calmer Gee. You've gotta keep my best friend safe." Jan heard her friend sigh and there was a pause in the conversation. "You pulled?"

"Yes mom, I promise," Gigi chuckled. She sniffled, trying desperately to regain her composure.

"Can you give me a hint as to what's going on, baby?"

"I slept with Crystal," Gigi admitted. Jan's jaw dropped. 

"No."

"Yep."

"Okay, get over here as safely as possible. Cause I need every detail now." Jan hung up the phone, trying to figure out the best way to comfort her friend. First of all, though, she decided to make a big pot of coffee, debating whether or not she should ask her guest to leave. 

**

"Jan," Gigi said as she walked into their apartment, falling into her best friend's arms and falling into a fit of tears.

"Shh baby. It's gonna be okay." Jan cooed.

"I don't think it is." Gigi sobbed. She broke apart from the hug and turned to see two cups of coffee sitting on Jan's coffee table. "You're a lifesaver."

"Let's drink these on the balcony and we can talk." Gigi nodded, about to thank her friend, when she noticed a pair of chic black heels safely stashed on the shoe rack that Gigi had just put together after moving in.

"Oh my god, do you have someone here?" Gigi gasped. "I'm so sorry! Did I wake you both?"

"It's fine," Jan laughed. "I told her my roommate had an emergency and to lock herself in my bedroom."

"I can go," Gigi assured her friend.

"Hell no, this is a big thing. She has her phone, my television, and a huge cup of coffee. Stop this. Let's go talk."

**

"So... yeah." Gigi sighed after explaining the events of the night to her best friend. She kept looking at Jan's face for some kind of reaction. But she couldn't find anything.

"Fuck," Jan sighed after a few minutes of silence.

"Yep."

"Fuck!"

"Yep!" Gigi said with a sad smile. 

"So what are you going to do?" Jan asked.

"Girl, that's why I'm here. You're supposed to tell me what to do," Gigi said.

"Baby I wish I had a concrete answer for you. I think you have to talk to Crystal." Jan said, simply. "You need to figure out what last night meant to her."

"We didn't talk all night," Gigi pointed out to Jan. "After I had a shower, I don't think we said two sentences to each other. We just laid in silence until she asked me to leave so she could get ready for work."

"Still," Jan sighed. "You need to put on your big girl panties. You can't be the cliche here, you actually have to talk to her."

"Who's in your bed?" Gigi tilted her head toward Jan.

"That's not what we are talking about!" Jan laughed.

"I know."

"We are talking about you."

"I know."

"You've got to talk to Crystal."

"I know. But I also know those shoes at your front door," Gigi said, cocking her eyebrow at Jan. 

"You don't," Jan lied. 

"I didn't know Nicky liked girls," Gigi said with a shrug and a smirk. Jan's face turned beat red. 

"I don't think Nicky knew," was all Jan said in response. 

"Does it mean anything?"

"See, you can ask me that question with no hesitation! Now you just have to ask Crystal." Jan nudged her friend playfully.

"I fucked up," Gigi sighed as she leaned her head on Jan's shoulder.

"It happens." 

"She has a boyfriend."

"She doesn't love him," Jan said, with a stern tone. “I don’t even know if she likes him.”

"Please don't get my hopes up," Gigi begged.

"I'm not saying it just to say it, Gee. I don't think she loves him. I think that everything has been going on between them has ruined their relationship." Jan pulled Gigi into a tight hug.

"Yeah?"

"But I'm not saying that's enough. I'm just saying there is no trust there, he just is always angry and never home. And then there is the issue of you two." Jan knew that what she was saying was somewhat incoherent. She just wanted her friend to face the fact that the girl she was falling for was definitely in a bad relationship, but that didn't mean what had transpired between them was going to be the end of it.

"Yeah," Gigi nodded. "I just have to talk to her." 

"It's all you can do," Jan agreed. 

"So...Nicky." 

"It's new," Jan said, with a large, toothy grin. 

"Is there anyone at the store you haven't fingered?" Gigi asked, letting out a huge laugh.

"Bitch! You can't throw stones in that glass house!" Jan laughed equally as hard, wrapping one arm around Gigi, and planting a kiss on her forehead."

**

Crystal had managed to nearly avoid Gigi for a week. It wasn't as though she didn't want to see her best friend. On the contrary, she desperately wanted to grab onto Gigi and never let go. She just didn't know what to say. She hadn't told Nathan what happened, but she did know officially that Nathan was sleeping with someone else.

Not that she could say anything.

After their week of silence, as Crystal was leaving the store after a particularly gruelling morning shift, she saw Gigi's car waiting out in the parking lot.

"Crys," Gigi called from her window. "Let me drive you home."

“It’s okay,” Crystal started to walk away from the parking lot, toward her house.

“Please,” Gigi whimpered. “I miss you.”

“Geege,” Crystal sighed. She had also missed her best friend. But what was there to say? What was there she could say? When she found the pair of panties in Nathan’s car a few days before, all she had done was put them in his hand. They hadn’t exchanged a single word about the situation. As far as Crystal knew, they were still completely intertwined in each other’s lives. Regardless of her thoughts of Nathan and their possible break up, Crystal decided to get into Gigi’s car.

“Thank you,” Gigi mumbled as she pulled out of the parking lot. “We have to talk.”

“I don’t know what to say. About anything. About any of this.” Crystal admitted. 

“Well, that makes two of us,” Gigi laughed. “I just really missed you, Crystal. If this isn’t what you wanted, we can pretend it never happened. We can ignore it forever. I just don’t want to lose you. You’re my best friend.”

“It’s not like I just didn’t want to see you,” Crystal explained. “I just knew we needed to talk. And I have no answers for you right now. At least, none that I think are good.”

“Look,” Gigi explained. “If you want to stay with Nathan, I support you. I don’t want to ever put you in a position to jeopardize what you have...well, never again anyway. You mean way too much to me to let this end our friendship.”

“I don’t want our friendship to end either,” Crystal said solemnly. “I don’t know anything else, but I do know that. Even a week of avoiding you is agonizing. I don't know anything else for sure.”

“I’m sure you know some things,” Gigi said. 

“I...I know I enjoyed it. A lot.” Crystal’s cheeks were red as she spoke. “I know for a fact that I am not straight. I know that I may have been missing out a lot.”

“Well, I am very good at what I do,” Gigi joked, trying to lighten the mood. 

“You are,” Crystal nodded, not picking up on the joke. “And that is a problem. Gigi, at that moment, I thought that it would be closure. I hoped that I would be able to know exactly what I wanted. Or at least, be okay with what I wanted.”

“What does that mean?” Gigi asked, earnestly. 

“What I want, what’s going on, and what I think I should want are all so different.” Crystal admitted. “Like, he and I have been together for years. But it’s dead. And even if we broke up, what next? Where do I live? Where do I go? You aren’t a rebound Gigi. You’re not a side piece. You’re so much more. I think I might be in love with you.”

“Usually people say that without tears streaming down their faces,” Gigi said softly, wiping the hot tears that had begun to fall from Crystal’s eyes. Similar ones were streaking Gigi’s cheeks. 

“Well, usually it isn’t this complicated!”

“Crystal,” Gigi began. “I am falling in love with you. I love your laugh. I love your smile. I love how well you fit people for bras. I love how you remember everyone’s pet’s names. I love the way everything makes you sob. I love that your blue hair seemingly never fades. I love how fiercely you defend the people you love. I love how you always put too much cream in your coffee but you drink it anyway. I love your big heart. I love your body. I love your soul. I love how you want better for everyone and you’re willing to do anything to help them get it.”

“Stop,” Crystal sighed. “I don’t deserve-”

“Why?”

“I’m a cheater.”

“Apparently so am I!” Gigi laughed through a sob. “And you don’t think less of me.”

“Nathan is cheating on me too,” Crystal sighed. “Not that I can be mad about it.”

“How do you know?” Gigi asked.

“Panties in his car,” Crystal scoffed. “So cliche. It’s like he wanted me to find them. I just shoved them in his hands and we haven’t said anything about it.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Gigi sighed as she patted Crystal’s hand.

“Why? I did the same thing.”

“What are you going to do?” Gigi asked. She was hoping that she could get the conversation away from how bad Crystal was feeling about their relationship and instead, maybe help her find a plan.

“As I said, I don’t know anything.” Crystal had new tears running down her cheeks. “This is more than a breakup. This is a change of everything in my life. This is years. This is coming out. This is moving. This means a lot of things that I think I need time to deal with.”

Crystal and Gigi pulled up in front of Crystal’s apartment. They sat in comfortable silence, holding hands. Neither of the girls wanted to break the silence. Crystal didn’t want to leave the car. They both wanted to bask in the uncomplicated quiet of each other’s presence for as long as they could. It was the only peace and company they’d shared in a week. 

“If,” Gigi began. “Time is what you need... You can have it. I don’t need a decision right now. You know how I feel. You know that all I want is you. Nothing more or less. But if you need to take days, weeks, months... you don’t owe me a decision. I said I didn’t regret being with you, and that’s true.”

“I...I don’t regret it either,” Crystal admitted. “It was the happiest I’ve felt in so long. You make me the happiest I’ve felt in so long. Maybe ever, Geege.”

“Take time,” Gigi repeated. “But please, don’t shut me out. Let me be in the loop. Let me know what’s going on.”

“I want time,” Crystal agreed. 

“Then that’s what you’ll get.” Gigi felt that Jan would be proud, and the conversation was extremely productive. Before either woman realized exactly what was happening, they had enveloped each other into a deep kiss. This wasn’t a kiss of lust, a kiss of confusion, or a kiss of words they couldn’t speak. It was a kiss that felt like everything each girl had been missing. The kiss would have been absolutely everything that both of the girls would have wanted, if only Nathan hadn’t been leaving for work at the same time, seeing the passionate kiss between the two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, again, for sticking with this story! I hope this chapter didn't disappoint! Leave a review if you'd like!
> 
> Cheers!


	8. Holding Secrets in Our Clothes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls confront Nathan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and love you guys! I can't believe how kind and wonderful you are all. I love you!!! Thank you for sticking with this story!
> 
> Cheers!

“Nathan,” Crystal breathed as she got out of Gigi’s car and closed the door behind her. Gigi slumped down in her seat, covering her head with her hands, and resting her head on the steering wheel. She knew that it would probably be better if she just left, but she was nervous about leaving Crystal alone. It wasn’t as though she thought he would be violent per se, but knowing how jealous he was, Gigi couldn’t put her foot on the gas to leave. Thankfully, her windows were already cracked so she could hear what was being said.

“I knew it,” Nathan said with a hollow chuckle. 

“It isn’t what it looks like,” Crystal said, making Gigi jerk her head up. In Gigi’s opinion, it was exactly what it looked like. All of the fears Nathan had about Crystal and Gigi were valid, it turned out. So Gigi had no idea what Crystal was saying.

“You’re tongue fucking her right in front of our house!” Nathan yelled in Crystal’s face as they walked closer to meet.

“Look, can we please just go inside?” Crystal looked around to see if there was a crowd gathering. Her hatred of confrontation was only exacerbated by the fact that they were in public.

“Why don’t all three of us go in?” Nathan gestured to Gigi as he spoke.

“No, no, I’m gonna go home,” Gigi finally interjected to the conversation. 

“You’re brave enough to fuck my girlfriend but not even discuss this like adults?” Nathan said, coldly.

“You’re being crazy,” Crystal said as she tried to direct Nathan upstairs with her. 

“Let’s go,” Nathan gestured to Gigi. Not really knowing why, Gigi moved her car over to the proper parking spots, intending to go up to the apartment. She wasn’t sure what she was doing, or why. But she found herself silently following Nathan and Crystal up the stairs to their apartment. The girls followed Nathan through the door and they congregated in the living room. Gigi knew that she would better off to just walk away. But she hadn’t walked away from Crystal yet. So even as the tension escalated palpably, she held her ground. As Nathan laughed sarcastically, sitting down, Gigi saw tears form in Crystal’s eyes. Gigi, however, remained steadfast in her immobility. She didn’t cry, she didn’t leave. She stood beside Crystal, fighting the urge to grab her hand.

“Oh, Nathan,” Nathan began, mockingly. “There is nothing to worry about. She is my friend. She is just my friend. You are being ridiculous. Fuck you.”

“Stop,” Crystal said, wincing. Regardless of her issues with Nathan, it hurt to hear him speak with such anger towards her. 

“No, you don’t get to tell me to stop,” Nathan yelled. This yell caused Gigi to actually reach out and grab Crystal’s hand. To her surprise, Crystal grabbed her hand back and held it tight. “Are you fucking kidding with this?”

“You are the fucking worst,” Crystal let go of Gigi’s hand. “Are you kidding me with  _ this _ ? You absolutely have no space to be angry. How long have you been cheating on me? We haven’t addressed the panties in the fucking car, Nathan.”

“Turn it around on me, typical.” Nathan rolled his eyes.

“You slept with at least one somebody else,” Crystal said, pointedly, 

“Oh, fuck you, Crystal.”

“Look me in the eye and you tell me that you haven’t been sleeping with somebody else.” Crystal stood in Nathan’s face, not breaking eye contact. Nathan kept his eyes connected to Crystal’s. Gigi could hear her own heartbeat in her ears. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. This was new. She was getting scared. She was getting overwhelmed. She shouldn’t be here, in love with the sobbing girl, fighting with a boy. 

“You have accused me of this-”

“Panties in the fucking car, Nathan!” Crystal yelled.

“Well, now I’m sure those are hers,” Nathan gestured at Gigi, who was beginning to feel dizzy. This was why she didn’t date. Everything was complicated. Everything was a mess.

“Well considering I never have the car on my own, and I’ve never had sex in that car, not even with  _ you-” _ Crystal began, but she was cut off by Nathan.

“Is that what this is about?”

“What?”  
  
“Feeling neglected. The lack of sex.” Now it was Crystal’s turn to laugh.

“This is because of years of you and me just not fucking working anymore! You can’t even be honest with me about whose fucking panties are in the car. Eight years and you can’t even tell me if you slept with someone else! I need you to say it.” Crystal was challenging him. Gigi’s head was spinning.

“I’m not a cheater, like you.” Nathan scoffed. “And besides, it’s not like you’ve fucking said it. Did you have sex with her?”

“Yes,” Crystal said simply. “Did you have sex with somebody else?”

“No,” Nathan said, not meeting her eyes and clearly lying.

“You’re a joke,” Crystal laughed. “Grow up.”

“This is what being a grown-up is to you? Becoming a fucking whore?”

“Don’t,” Gigi said quietly. She wasn’t happy to be where she was, but she wasn’t interested in listening to this man insult Crystal.

“She finally pipes up!” Nathan lifted his hands to the sky, sarcastically. 

“If she’s a whore, then you’re one too. We all know you’re cheating. And you can’t even say it. You absolute fucking asshole. You have Crystal in your life and you don’t even care! The most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, and you just don’t care. You leave her at all hours of the night. You don’t talk to her. You move her somewhere brand new and leave her to fend for herself. You are a fucking let down.” Gigi snapped. She was pushing past her anxiety, but she still felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest.

“Even if I slept with someone,” Nathan began, looking intently at Crystal rather than Gigi. “At least I didn’t fool anyone into falling in love with me. I called this too. You keep me around to be your perfect boyfriend, and you keep her wrapped around your finger. You have her to boost your ego.”

“You’re horrible,” Gigi said, cringing at the worry that maybe Nathan was right. Hoping desperately that his enormous words were just to get a rise out of them. Because it wasn’t as though it wasn’t a worry in the back of Gigi’s mind.

“If you were a fucking man, I would have beat the shit out of you by now,” Nathan said, finally addressing Gigi. 

“Funny,” Gigi scoffed. “I was thinking the same thing.”

“Bitch,” Nathan spat.

“This is going to get us nowhere,” Crystal said, stepping in between her boyfriend and the girl she was falling in love with. 

“Where exactly do you expect us to get?” Nathan asked, incredulously. 

“You were the one who asked Gigi to come here too!” Crystal snapped, followed by a snicker. “But that was just you trying to come off intimidating. That was you showing off.”

“Fuck you, cunt,” Nathan said, pushing Crystal out from between him and Gigi. The instant that his hands touched Crystal, Gigi had already balled her hand into a fist. Her fist connected with Nathan’s jaw before she could fight the instinct. Over a year of pent up anger on her dear friend’s behalf sent Nathan to the floor. Crystal’s eyes bulged out of her head as she looked at Gigi with nothing but shock written across her face.

“Put a hand on her again,” Gigi snarled, with an uncharacteristic malevolence in her voice. “I will kill you. I will actually kill you.”

“You crazy fucking bitch,” Nathan scrambled to his feet. Gigi turned and grabbed Crystal’s hand. “I was just getting her out of my face.”

“Crystal,” Gigi commanded. “Grab your shit.”

“Yeah,” Crystal said, slipping away from the fight. 

“You’re her bitch now?” Nathan laughed. “You come when she calls?”

“I’m not staying here,” Crystal laughed in return. 

“Things get hard and you walk away.”

“I’ve been fighting. It’s been hard for way longer than it needed to be.”

“I love you, Crystal,” Nathan said. 

“I loved you, Nathan,” Crystal responded, grabbing a few bags. In a sad moment of realization, Crystal noticed that she didn’t have a lot of belongings in the apartment. Lots of clothes, sure, but nothing much else. Everything was Nathan’s. And she was realizing that she was just another piece of furniture to Nathan when she was there. Something he didn’t notice or care for anymore. Something part of his life that was not worth paying attention to. He accused her many times of using Gigi for validation, but that may have stemmed from his fears that he was doing the same thing. “I’m fucking sad that it had to end like this.”

“It doesn’t,” Nathan began.

“Who did you cheat on me with?” Crystal asked. Nathan didn’t say anything. “That’s what I thought. I loved you. You were my everything. But things are different now. Things can’t go back. We’ve both fucked up, and we’ve both made mistakes. But in eight years, I can’t think of you apologizing. I can’t remember you admitting to anything.”

“We can both apologize.”

“That’s the thing,” Crystal said, grabbing the bags of clothes she had put together. “I’m not sorry, Nathan.”

“You love her, don't you?” Nathan asked, angrily. 

“Maybe,” Crystal nodded. “But regardless, this isn’t how it should have ended. This should have ended when you demanded I move. Or maybe even before that. I’m sorry that this was so prolonged. I am sorry that this was so ugly.”

Nathan tried to speak to Crystal, but she was past the point of listening. She handed a few of her clothing bags to Gigi, who accepted them and helped her put them in the car. The two girls didn’t exchange many words, only sniffs and tears as both of them marinated on the experience. Crystal silently put her hand on Gigi’s thigh and squeezed it lightly. After a few minutes of driving, Crystal had to finally break the silence.

“Where are you going?” Crystal asked.

“I don’t know,” Gigi sighed.

“What do we do now?” Crystal asked.

“I don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to end it here!! I really am!! Thank you so much, guys! Hope this story is still making you happy and is still worth reading! Leave a review if you'd like!
> 
> Cheers!


	9. Are You Waiting for Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gigi and Crystal have a hard conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh thank you guys so much for all the love on the previous chapter! I hope you are still enjoying the story! Leave a comment if you'd like!
> 
> And a heads up. CW for sexual assault mention. Again, it isn't deeply explored, but it is discussed.

Gigi didn’t know where she was driving. She had a lot she had wanted to say to Crystal, but verbalizing everything was proving difficult. The car seemed to be choosing its own direction. Crystal’s mind was similarly preoccupied, so she elected to also keep silent. Both women felt as though the weight of their choices had manifested physically and were weighing on their chests. It was difficult to breathe. After almost an hour of silent confusion, Gigi found a lookout point. The point overlooked a forested area with a small body of water. Dusk was approaching quickly, and the girls took a few minutes to let the exhaustion of the long day simmer.

“Do you work tomorrow?” Gigi broke the silence.

“No, I’m off.” 

“I think Jackie has a spare room,” Gigi said as she pulled out her cell phone. “I know she mentioned maybe wanting a roommate, split the rent with someone. Plus she has hated living on her own since whats-her-face moved out. I'm going to message her right now. That would be too perfect.”

“I’m homeless,” Crystal said as the realization dawned on her. Panic was swelling in her chest. 

“You’ll be fine. Between all of us, you know that you are going to be okay. You can sleep at my place tonight. If you want.” Gigi was not as panicked as Crystal, but she felt pain and anger for her friend. She wanted to offer for Crystal to move in with her right away, to hug her and kiss her and make all of the sadness go away. But it was too much. She didn't want Crystal to jump from her boyfriend into a cohabitation situation with her. 

“Geege,” Crystal started.

“I know,” Gigi said, about nothing in particular. Because the truth was, she really didn’t know. 

“I thought this would fall into place, you know? I thought that after you knocked the shit out of my ex-boyfriend, the world would open up and the angels would sing.” Crystal said with a laugh. 

“If things were easier,” Gigi began. “I would have pulled you into the most explosive kiss of your life. I would have driven you to my house, gallantly carried all your bags upstairs, and fucked you senselessly.”

“Can’t we just-”

“You know a lot about me as your friend, but not as a partner. And just a few hours ago you thought you needed time. I’m scared that if you just jump into us, you’re going to have a lot of fucking regrets. I can't Crys. Believe me, I want you. I've wanted you for so long. But you don't know me in that way yet. We both need time.”

“I know you, Gigi.” Crystal said.

“That’s the thing. You know your friend. Crystal, I haven’t been in a long term relationship since I was nineteen. And that ended with me needing therapy. Therapy that I still haven't gotten around to seeking out.” Gigi laughed, even though her eyes were filling with hot tears. 

“But that doesn't change how I feel about you. Geege, I didn’t need time because I wasn’t in love with you. I needed time because my whole world was going to change. And now, whether I am ready or not, everything else is changing. I’ve been wrestling with the idea of you for a very long time. Since you told me that having a boyfriend was a waste! Since the first day of training, you’ve been on my fucking mind.” Crystal felt her eyes filling with tears to match Gigi’s. 

“Everyone teases me about being a slut-”

“That doesn’t matter!”

“It’s true though. It scares me that you’ve only been with two people. Me being one of them! What if you took some time to explore yourself? Sew your oats or whatever.” The tears were falling, but Gigi was speaking calmly.

“I don’t want to explore.”

“You literally only realized you were interested in girls like twenty-five minutes ago. There are so many people of every gender that you have yet to meet!” A little bit of self-loathing was coming out. It was hard for Gigi to think that she was worthy of someone as beautiful, smart, loving, and perfect as Crystal. She felt herself instinctively pushing Crystal away, even though she was not looking to.

“I’m not the sleep around type I don’t think.”

“I’m not saying you should be.”

“What do you want from me? I like you. I know my life is in a fucking tailspin, but I want you. I am laying my heart out there for you Geege.”

“You don’t realize the baggage-”

“You just punched my shitty boyfriend in the face! I am homeless! Geege, you have to be joking about this baggage thing. I am walking, talking baggage! Lay it out. Tell me the baggage.” Both of the girls laughed as Gigi dried her eyes, resting her head on Crystal’s shoulder.

“I was raped by my first boyfriend,” Gigi started. “I usually don’t even call it that. That word makes me feel sick to my stomach. I genuinely want to throw up just saying that. That plays a bigger role in why I don’t date than I want to admit. I don’t know if I am gonna ever figure out how to finish my fashion credits. I know that's the field I want, but what if I finish that program and am lost again? I am scared to get another degree I don't use. I don’t think I know how many people I’ve had sex with, but I genuinely have no regrets.”

“Okay,” Crystal said with a nod.

“I’ve had sex with Jan,” Gigi admitted for the very first time. 

“Jan? Your roommate Jan? Our friend Jan?” Crystal’s cheeks were flushed, but she tried to hide it. She was feeling jealous, even though she knew it wasn’t her place. Gigi having sex with someone else was always implied, especially by the other girls at the store. But Gigi was always private about that part of her in front of Crystal. Which Crystal began to realize was probably because Gigi was into her. 

“Yep,” Gigi said with a nod. 

“Okay,” Crystal said with a nod in return.

“A lot. Like, for the last two years.” This time, Crystal didn’t hide her surprise and slight jealousy. Her jaw dropped and Gigi laughed.

“You’re messing with me. Were you into her? Are you into her? What? How did Jan keep her mouth shut about that? When Jan knew that Jackie was going to get promoted she couldn’t stand to be in the same room as her! She can't keep a secret. You’re messing with me.” This caused Gigi to laugh harder.

“I swear! Jan and I have had a thing since I first started at the store. And I mean, she’s a big mouth, but you know how good I am. You tried to have a secret fling with me too!” Gigi elbowed Crystal over and over, jokingly.

“Low blow!” Crystal laughed, putting her hand on Gigi’s thigh and gave it a tight squeeze. “Have you fucked everyone at the store?”

“Nope, just the two of you!”

“Do you have feelings for Jan?” Gigi laughed even harder than she had laughed previously.

“Gross, no! No! I would do anything for Jan. I love her. I love her more than anything. But not romantically. At all. Crystal, I don’t think I’ve felt romantically attracted to anyone since I was nineteen. Until you.” Crystal smiled brightly. The idea of Gigi openly having those feelings for her made her feel giddy.

“You are romantically interested in me,” Crystal reiterated.

“I’m falling for you.” 

“I have such a hard time with that.”

“Why?”

“You’re you! You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. And not only that, but you’re smart and silly, and you sing karaoke, and you're educated as fuck and you can design and you make people feel good about themselves. Like, how can you be this gorgeous and a genuinely good person? And even more, why would you be interested in me?” Crystal asked.

“Because you’re you,” Gigi said simply. The women sat in silence for a few minutes before Gigi started to pull her car out from the lookout point. Everything about this silence was different from their drive to the point. They felt comfortable and safe. No weight was crushing their chests. The stars kept them company. Things were uncertain and weird, but there was a distinct undertone of hope.

“Hey,” Crystal said eventually breaking the silence.

“Hey,” Gigi repeated, cocking her head toward Crystal and raising one eyebrow.

“You know, I’ve got a bit of a crush on you.”

“What?”

“Play along,” Crystal stage-whispered loudly, pretending to put her hand over her mouth dramatically. Gigi giggled and agreed to play along.

“A crush? On me?”

“And I was wondering if you’d maybe like to go out sometime.” Crystal wiggled her eyebrows up and down at Gigi.

“You want to go out on a date with me?” Gigi couldn’t help herself, continuing to laugh.

“Yes! I would like to take a bit to figure out my situation. I probably need to figure out where to live before I start dating, but then! Then I would like to take you out.” Crystal was laughing with Gigi now, and they revelled the awkwardness and uncertainty of the situation. 

**

“Hey ladies,” Jan waved at the girls as they carried their bags into the apartment Gigi and Jan shared. “Do you need a hand?”

“I think we’re good. Everything’s up from the car. I’m gonna kick it all into my room.” Gigi called Jan from the car and gave her the low-down on Crystal’s break up. Jan was accommodating as always, assuring both girls that Crystal was welcome to stay with them as long as she liked. She had also put the call out to Jackie, asking if she was interested in a new roommate.

“I cleared out a spot in my closet so if you need to hang anything, there’s room,” Jan said.

“Thanks, Jan,” Crystal said quietly. She still felt a bit of jealousy toward the relationship that Jan and Gigi had shared. Jan looked at Crystal empathetically before pulling her into a warm hug.

“Crys, want to come make some coffee with me?” Jan asked. “Gigi can put your bags away.”

“I can?” Gigi asked, and Jan nodded at her enthusiastically. “I can.”

“Thanks,” Crystal said with a small smile. Jan ushered Crystal into the kitchen as Gigi grabbed all of the bags, trying to take all of Crystal's things into her room in one trip.

“Look,” Jan said, very seriously. “I am here for you, okay? Gigi didn’t give me full details, but she said it got ugly. And you can share as much or as little as you want. I know Gigi means a lot to you, and I am sure after everything there is stuff you don’t want to dump on her. I offer my services!”

“I assume you know everything already,” Crystal sighed.

“I only know Gigi’s side of things.” Jan shrugged. “It has to feel different and scary for both of you. And regardless of her fear and confusion, you’re the one who needs support right now. Everything is going to change for you. You need friends and love.”

“That means more to me than I can even explain.” 

“You’d do the same for me! I love you, Crystal. Whatever you need.”

“She told me about you two, just so you know.” Crystal blurted out, beginning to feel uncomfortable with Jan not knowing what she knew. 

“I figured,” Jan said with a nod, taking the kettle she had filled and waited for off the hot burner. “She’s serious about you, you know. I imagine that’s got to be overwhelming right now.”

“That’s the perfect word for it,” Crystal sighed.

“I hope you know,” Jan began. “Things between Gigi and I… that’s over. And it really never meant anything. Your night with her, girl, that meant everything to her. And I don’t want to make it look like I’m trying to convince you to jump into something you’re not ready for, but you need to know that I’ve been team Cry-Gi for a long time now! All I want is for my best friend to be happy.”

“Team Cry-Gi?” Crystal laughed.

“It’s your couple’s name! No pressure though!” Jan laughed as she finished making the three warm drinks. “Now, what do you say we all sit on the balcony, drink warm drinks, and you cry your heart out about that dirtbag ex-boyfriend of yours?”

Crystal thought that sounded like exactly what she needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate it more than I can even tell you!
> 
> Also, I'm tossing it into the void that I think that I have a Jan and Jackie story in my mind for my next work! Thank you guys for making me feel so comfortable sharing my work!!


	10. Vows in Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls design a new home for Crystal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a fluffy chapter, warning in advance! It also mentions suicide, so there is a CW for that, ongoing through the chapter.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the love on the last chapter, and all of the previous ones. Hope that you like what is here today!
> 
> Cheers!

It was Nicky’s idea to paint Crystal’s new bedroom yellow.

As soon as Jackie had heard what happened, she was more than happy to have Crystal become her new roommate. Word of Crystal’s explosive breakup spread quickly between the women at Brita’s Boutique, who all resolved that they would make moving into Jackie’s apartment as easy as possible. Brita went through her crawl space and was able to find a single bed frame and mattress that her husband had saved for some reason. Nina had some old black curtains and simple white blinds from when she had renovated a few months earlier that she was happy to donate to the cause. Heidi, the newest girl on the team, had an old end table she didn’t use, and a few picture frames that Jackie excitedly filled with pictures of the nights out that the staff shared. Jackie and Jaida had combed their local thrift shops, finding a sturdy, old, dark wooden dresser that would almost match the bedframe from Brita and the table from Heidi. They were all dark wood, even if the shades were off. But they all knew Crystal wouldn’t mind.

The girls had even managed to pull together some decorations. Jackie had framed the aforementioned photos and found a tacky, old-school alarm clock to put on the bedside table. Jan had framed a few designs that Gigi had sketched and hung them alongside the photos from their nights out. Jaida had found an outrageously ugly lamp and a horribly patterned lampshade that she knew Crystal would love, and put it in the corner of the room. They knew it didn’t have to be perfect. But they wanted something nice for their friend. Nicky had re-potted some of her low-maintenance succulents and set them on the window sill. 

The day that Crystal was set to move into the room, Jaida, Nicky, Jan, and Jackie were putting the finishing touches on the place, while Gigi and Crystal worked an afternoon shift together. Nicky was painting the baseboards in the room a bright white to make them stand out against the warm yellow she had chosen for the walls. Jaida had brought the clothing steamer she used at her home and was unpacking the bags of Crystal’s clothes that she had picked up from Gigi’s house. Jaida steamed the clothes while Jan hung them in Crystal’s new closet, organizing everything by colour. Jackie sat on the bed, neatly folding all of the clothes that the others weren’t going to need to hang, and folding them into Crystal’s drawers. All in all, the girls were excited for Crystal to see all the work they had done. 

“Did you know that most suicides happen in yellow rooms?” Jackie said as she worked through a pile of Crystal’s pyjamas. 

“Chile’, why on Earth was that on your mind?” Jaida scoffed.

“I picked yellow because it’s bright and happy!” Nicky whined. “Who else would know that besides you?”

“I don’t know!” Jackie defended herself. “I just thought it was interesting.”

“Crystal is going to love the room,” Jan said as she walked over to pat Nicky on the head. Nicky smiled brightly at Jan. 

“She is!” Jackie exclaimed. “I just thought I would share. Although now I’m not sure why.”

“Because you’re morbid, girl.” Jan laughed, and the others laughed along with her. The topic of Gigi and Crystal was on the back of all of the girl’s minds. Her staying with Gigi had brought to light the fact that Gigi some feelings for Crystal, and they all assumed there was reciprocation. Although it hadn’t been expressed directly by either party. 

“I always thought that Gigi was into Crystal,” Jaida brought up after the girls had sat in silence for longer than the chatty ladies were comfortable with.

“I knew it too,” Jackie nodded. “I’ve said it before, but I feel like I’m good at sensing these things.”

“I’m sure you are,” Nicky said, rolling her eyes and giving Jan a small smirk. Nicky was now privy to the knowledge of Gigi and Jan’s former relationship, and of course, she was privy to the one growing between Jan and herself. Jan made sure that nobody was looking, and gave a small wink in Nicky’s direction. They were quickly finding themselves together often, and both were beginning to wonder if this was going to be more than a friends-with-benefits situation, but neither had addressed it. Crystal’s big move was more pressing on their minds. 

“I’m telling you!” Jackie laughed.

“Well, Gigi is usually pretty obvious when she wants to fuck someone.” Jaida nodded. “But this was a whole, fucked up situation for her. I kind of feel bad for Gee, you know?”

“Absolutely,” Nicky nodded. “That could not have been easy. Even if she’s, you know, Gigi about sex. This isn’t like that.”

“Do you think they’ve had sex?” Jackie gasped. “Now that Crystal is single. She’s staying at your house with Gigi, Jan! What’s the gossip?”

“Gigi has been sleeping on the couch most nights. She gave Crys her bed. And let's be honest, everyone knows that she wants to be with Crys at this point, but she doesn’t think it's a good idea for Crys to just jump into a new relationship.” Jan shared with the group, leaving out that they had previously had sex, and leaving out the times that Gigi had crawled into bed when she knew Crystal was sad and feeling scared. But they had kept everything clean so far. It made Jan smile, thinking of Gigi feeling so deeply for someone for the first time. 

“That’s got to be killing Gigi, that slut!” Nicky laughed, not admitting that she already knew about their sleeping arrangements, now that she had been spending nights in Jan’s bed. 

“It’s better for both of them, I think,” Jaida said, also laughing slightly at Nicky’s joke.

“Nicky’s just teasing because if Gigi starts dating, she’ll be the slutty one.” Jackie wiggled her eyebrows at Nicky, and all of the girls laughed.

“One never knows Jacks,” Jan teased. “Any of us can make a run for Gigi’s spot.”

“That would involve me doing anything besides working,” Jackie said, rolling her eyes. “The only person fucking me right now is Brita, with the constant changes and demands for the new line. I swear, I love the woman but she is going to drive me to drink.”

“It’s just worse now because it’s a transition period,” Jan said, reassuringly. 

“Or maybe our dear boss is a bit of a diva,” Jaida countered. 

“That too,” Jan laughed.

**

“Surprise!” Gigi, Jan, Jaida, Nicky, and Jackie all yelled out as Gigi brought Crystal to her new bedroom. The blue-haired girl looked around the room, completely shocked. Surprising nobody, her eyes filled with tears. All five girls grinned as they took turns pulling Crystal into bear hugs, as she tried to peer around the room and see what they had done for her.

“What?” Crystal exclaimed as she finally was free of their grips. She grabbed Gigi’s hand absentmindedly as she started wandering. The other girls pretended not to notice.

“We wanted to surprise you!” Nicky exclaimed. “And make this move as easy as possible.”

“I-” Crystal was speechless.

“Do you like it?” Jackie asked, excitedly.

“I-”

“She’s speechless!” Jan exclaimed, clapping her hands together. Crystal nodded in agreement as she opened the closet, seeing that all of her clothes were organized and put away.

“You...you guys did everything!” Crystal finally said as she embraced the fact that she was going to sob. “I don’t know how to thank you!”

“Brita, Nina, and Heidi helped too,” Jan acknowledged. 

“But we put it all together!” Jaida exclaimed, feigning cockiness. “So don’t you go being too grateful for those three. We are the all-stars here!”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Surprised?” Gigi asked, wiggling her eyebrows at Crystal. 

“More surprised than I’ve ever been. About anything.” Crystal sniffed and dried her eyes, trying to get some kind of composure together.

“And, I’m not even going to jack up the rent for the room now that it’s been renovated,” Jackie joked. 

“The only gracious landlord,” Crystal laughed, squeezing Jackie’s hand with the hand that she hadn’t been gripping onto Gigi with. The girls all laughed as they gave Crystal some time to explore the new room. Jaida excused herself to the living room so she could order some pizzas for the girls. Jan offered to help Jackie get drinks for everyone, and Nicky followed them, simply because she thought that Gigi and Crystal would appreciate some time together.

“How do I ever repay everyone?” Crystal asked, still slack-jawed and shocked. 

“Nobody wants payment,” Gigi said.

“How did you all sneak around and get this done without me knowing?”

“Nina and Jackie played around with the schedule so we could have a few people here working on things every day.” Gigi shrugged.

“This is unbelievable,” Crystal pulled Gigi into a tight hug. Quickly, the hug deepened, and the two women found their lips meeting. It was the first time that they had kissed since everything had transpired. But it felt like the right time. It felt like a safe moment to express all of the thoughts that they couldn’t with words. 

“No, that was unbelievable,” Gigi whispered as their lips parted. 

“Stop,” Crystal laughed gently. 

“I mean it. I love kissing you. I wish I could just be enveloped by your lips at all times. They’re so soft and so safe.” Gigi placed her palm on Crystal’s cheek and rubbed her softly.

“Not that this isn’t disgustingly cute,” Jaida said from the doorway, surprising both women. “But I was just coming to ask what you guys wanted on your pizza.”

“Anything,” Crystal laughed, covering her red face with Gigi’s hand, pretending to hide. 

“Everyone kind of already figured,” Jaida laughed. “I would say get a room, but you already have a beautiful new one!”

“I won’t ever be able to thank you guys enough,” Crystal said, taking the opportunity to steer the conversation away from the kiss. “This is the nicest thing that has ever been done for me.”

“You’d do the same for us,” Jaida shrugged. “But warn us if you’re feeling like you’re going to off yourself or something, okay?”

“What the fuck?” Gigi asked, incredulously.

“Oh god, chile’, Jackie told us that people kill themselves more in yellow rooms or something. So now I’m a little bit paranoid about the juju that yellow rooms give off.”

“I love yellow,” Crystal said, once the three girls had finished laughing about the bizarrely morbid statistic that Jackie had shared. 

“Nicky picked the colour,” Gigi shared. She knew that Crystal needed all the love that she could get, so even little things like Nicky knowing what would be a good colour for her room would mean a lot to her. Once Crystal smiled excitedly, the three girls left the bedroom, with Jaida and Gigi sharing who was involved with what part of Crystal’s new room.

As Crystal listened to her friends, she felt overwhelmingly loved. She also felt a bit silly for worrying about what things would be like if she left Nathan. A year with these women had given her the best friends she’d ever had. A year with these women had given her the best family she could have asked for. It was a beautiful moment. Crystal felt hopeful. She grabbed Gigi’s hand again, holding tightly, trying to express how grateful she was. Gigi squeezed her hand three times, so Crystal knew her message was understood. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of fluff, but back to the main story next chapter! I think we all needed some fluff after the angst that transpired for the last...well...through the whole angsty story haha!!
> 
> Please leave a comment if you're inclined! They mean the world to me.
> 
> Cheers!!


	11. But There's No Harm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gigi meets a therapist and Crystal shares some concerns with Nicky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just because I have a new story on the go does not mean I could ever neglect my baby! Thank you guys for all the love you've given this story. I really can't get over how great the response has been. Every comment makes me so thrilled!
> 
> Well, enough stalling!
> 
> A CW for discussions of sexual assault, and for the general therapy that Gigi gets in this chapter. There is nothing graphic, but as always, heads up.
> 
> Cheers!

Gigi didn’t know what to expect when she walked into the office of her new therapist. Jan had helped her spend hours researching different doctors and social workers, trying to judge by reviews whether or not this person would be a good fit. Crystal was extremely supportive of Gigi’s decision and even considered looking into therapy for herself. Brita’s Boutique offered the full-time staff a fairly good insurance and benefits plan, so with all of the support and the lack of financial concern, Gigi had no reason to resist. Also, she knew that her trauma would impact her relationship with Crystal. The girls wanted to give themselves the cleanest start possible, so Gigi was finally ready to seek help. 

“Miss Goode!” Exclaimed the therapist, as Gigi ushered herself into the quiet room in which the therapist sat. The walls were covered in a dark green wallpaper adorned with dark wooden bookshelves. Half of the books were academic works, workbooks, and journals, while the other half was a collection of pop-culturally relevant fiction. A desk sat against the wall, the dark wood in the desk perfectly matching the wood in the bookshelf. A worn, black leather chair sat in front of an extremely large Mac desktop computer, with the screensaver showing a picture of two smiling teenage girls. There were two dark leather couches with green pillows sitting evenly on them. Gigi felt more like she had stepped into somebody’s home library rather than a doctor's office. 

“Gigi, please,” she said, grabbing the hand of the therapist. The woman must have been in her early fifties, Gigi thought, but clearly took care of herself as her skin looked soft and supple. She had luscious dark hair that hung down her back. She offered Gigi a warm smile, with nothing but care in her light eyes.

“Gigi,” she repeated. “I’m Dr. Visage, but please, call me Michelle. Have a seat!”

“Which couch?” Gigi asked, awkwardly. Michelle gestured to the couch that was the closest to Gigi. The therapist waited for Gigi to sit comfortably before sitting on the couch opposite her new client. 

“So,” Michelle began. “Just for my knowledge, how did you find us?”

“Internet,” Gigi said. “I’ve been talking about wanting to see a therapist for a while now. Well, probably I should have seen someone for years now. But my friend and I were researching and you had really good reviews, especially from LGBTQ+ clients.”

“Do you identify as a member of that community?” Michelle was looking between the notebook she had recently picked up and Gigi. She was quickly jotting down notes. Gigi wondered what she could be writing since they had hardly spoken.

“Yeah, I would say bisexual if I used labels.”

“Okay, perfect,” Michelle said with a nod. “So Miss Gigi, tell me what brings you here today? What got you to start looking for a therapist?”

“Well,” Gigi said, pausing for a long time. “I haven’t been in a relationship in a very long time. I… you know… hang out with people a lot. I have a friend who I used to… hang out with a lot. But now there is a girl that I am starting to see a future with, maybe? I don’t know. It’s kind of hard to explain.”

“I think I follow,” Michelle said warmly. “I’m sorry to ask, but by hang you, do you mean sex?”

“Yeah,” Gigi sighed. “It’s kind of weird to talk about.”

“It’s extremely weird to talk about! Especially because you don’t know me at all. But I have heard it all, and probably done it all. There isn’t much that can surprise me. You can be as candid as you like.” Michelle and Gigi shared a laugh at Michelle’s self-deprecating joke. 

“I feel like everything I want to explain is complicated,” Gigi said.

“I’m sure it’s extremely complicated. But what I’ve gathered so far… you’re a sexually active woman who is new to the world of commitment, and that’s something that you’d like to navigate with me.” Michelle had somehow followed Gigi’s ramblings, and Gigi was grateful. The idea of the session had filled her with nerves, but Michelle created such a calming, maternal environment.

“I was raped,” Gigi began. “I dated this guy throughout high school. And when I tried to break up with him, he attacked me. And I’ve had like, this disinterest in relationships since. I know it was related, but it wasn't the only reason. But I have a co-worker who, over the last year or so, I’ve started to develop feelings for. And I don’t know what to do with those feelings now.”

“First, let me say how sorry I am for you Gigi. Were you able to pursue any legal action?”

“No,” Gigi sighed. “I just left his house after he attacked me and I never looked back.”

“Does that part weigh on you?”

“Of course. But you know the story. Small-ish town. Golden boy. Even if I told someone-”

“You’re worried that they wouldn’t have believed you or cared?” Gigi nodded, happy that Michelle was understanding her. She seemed very non-judgmental, which allowed Gigi to start to relax. “We all do what we have to do to survive our trauma. It doesn’t make you any less of a victim, okay? I have a feeling we’ll come back to this, but I need to let you know now. Your survival this far through that trauma, it’s admirable.”

“Thank you,” Gigi mumbled. It was a conversation she still wasn’t happy to be having, but it was nice that Michelle cared.

“So, that’s the big topic. Love and dating after trauma,” Michelle said with a nod. “Do you mind if we put a pin in this and I ask you a few quick questions about your life right now?”

“Sure,” Gigi agreed.

“Do you live on your own? With parents?” 

“No, I live with a roommate. I went to University out of town, and when I finished school I moved back here. I lived with my parents back here for like, two years. Now I live with Jan.”

“Jan,” Michelle repeated, scratching the information into her notebook. “Is the situation working?”

“Yeah, she’s my best friend. But I should also warn you, Jan was my long time friend-with-benefits. That I also work with.” Gigi giggled. 

“You live with your ex-friend-with-benefits and have fallen for a co-worker? Is there something in the water where you work?” Michelle laughed, and Gigi joined her in the laughter. 

“I haven’t even mentioned the part where the coworker I am falling in love with cheated on her boyfriend, with me, and her boyfriend was also cheating on her, and now she just left him and moved in with another coworker and now we are trying to navigate a possible relationship.” Michelle looked at Gigi with wide eyes. 

“I’m about to be earning my money, working with you, aren’t I?” There was no malice or sarcasm in the question. Michelle was just quipping with Gigi to build a rapport. It was working, and Gigi realized that Michelle was a great choice for a therapist so far. 

**

“Can I ask you a weird question?” Crystal asked Nicky during a particularly slow shift. 

“Of course, I love weird questions.” 

“Do you ever have any feelings about Gigi and Jan living together?” It had been weighing on Crystal’s mind ever since she found out about their old relationship. Since she had been staying with Gigi before her new room at Jackie’s, Crystal had inadvertently become aware of the very new relationship that was growing between Jan and Nicky.

“What kind of feelings?” Nicky asked.

“I’m not even sure what I’m asking. That’s why it’s weird.” Crystal sighed. “I guess there is a little bit of jealousy maybe?”

“I would be pretty worried about you if you  _ weren’t  _ a bit jealous, ma chérie. Their situation is weird, for sure. But your situation is weird too. He-who-I-will-not-name was fooling around on you after all of those years.” Nicky said, and Crystal nodded.

“I guess you’re right,” she agreed.

“It’s very hard for me to have feelings about Jan and Gigi because I don’t know what the situation means for Jan and I. I don’t know what either of us wants, you know what I mean? I don’t think we are necessarily exclusive. But I don’t know.” Nicky sounded a bit flustered. “It’s too new to ask, I think.”

“You have to talk to her, Nick! You can’t just flounder around not knowing!” 

“You should talk,” Nicky snickered. Crystal laughed as well.

“Yes, because I know that communication is important. Learn from my mistakes instead of replicating them. Do you want to be exclusive with Jan?” Crystal was teasing somewhat but was asking about exclusivity earnestly. Even though there were many differences in their situations, Crystal began to notice a lot of similarities between herself and Nicky. They could maybe find some kind of kinship in their weird relationships and questioning of their sexualities. 

“I think, maybe, yes,” Nicky admitted. “It’s very early, of course. But I think I would like to go on some actual dates with her. I would like to get to know her as a potential girlfriend.”

“That’s so cute, I’m excited for you Nicky.” Crystal reached over and squeezed her friend’s hand. “You and Jan are both so wonderful. You both deserve to be happy.”

“What about you and Gigi? What is happening there, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Don’t change the subject! You still need to talk to Jan.” Crystal teased.

“I am going to see her after work, tonight. I think I will ask Jan if she would like to go on a date with me. Ask her to go somewhere besides her bed, you know?” Nicky laughed, but Crystal agreed. 

“Gigi and I,” Crystal began. “It’s complicated.”

“It always is!”

“Well, I am so scared of her feeling like a rebound.” Crystal sighed. “So as much as I would like to take her out on a date… when is the right time?”

“I don’t think there is a right time,” Nicky sighed. “I think sometimes things just happen. You two happened because it’s what was supposed to happen. Gigi knows she is more than a rebound. There is something different with you two. You’ve experienced too much together for her to be a rebound.”

“You think?” Crystal asked, hopefully.

“Of course. But I have une idée fantastique. One that will work out for both of us.”

“Yeah?”  
  
“We go on a double date! I ask Jan, you ask Gigi. We feel it out. And if things are weird or awkward, then at least we have each other. It will feel like friends hanging out, or it will feel like dates. And then we will know!” Nicky was giddy. “Of course, we will have to plan out what we are going to wear so we look cohesive, but not matchy-matchy.”

“Nicky!” Crystal laughed. “I just told you, there is a little weirdness I feel about Jan and Gigi! Don’t you think that will translate into a bad double date?” 

“No,” Nicky said simply. “If Jan and I coordinate our outfits, and you and Gigi do, it will make it clear who is on the date with who.”

“Coordinated outfits are your answer?” Crystal snorted.

“That,” Nicky agreed. “And the way Gigi has gone above and beyond for you. I believe you’ll need time before you two develop an understanding. It's okay that you still are learning to trust. You both have things you want to deal with. Things you need to deal with. But you can deal together. Besides, if Gigi and Jan wanted to be together, they already would have been.”

“That’s true,” Crystal conceded. 

“You will take the time to find out what you mean to each other. And this date will help. Gigi and Jan were upfront and honest with us.”

“That’s already better than how  _ he  _ dealt with things.” Crystal said. “I think you’re right, Nicky Nicky.”

“Of course I am,” Nicky scoffed. “But more importantly, what colour palate do you think I should pick for Jan and me? You already have a monopoly on blue because of that hair.”

“I’m not sure,” Crystal laughed. “But I’m excited about this. Thanks, Nicky.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading! Please drop a comment if you're inclined - they really mean the world to me! I have another few chapters outlined for this and my other work (It's Just Medicine), so you're going to get sick of seeing all these updates soon!
> 
> Cheers!


	12. All We've Got Are Lips on Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jan and Crystal clear the air. Crystal and Gigi go on their first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back! As always, I have to say thank you for all of the positive comments! I am so glad that this story has resonated with so many people. I am so thrilled with how kind you've all been. You've given me a creative outlet where I never need to worry. I can just share. And I love you all for it. 
> 
> Cheers!

Jan was surprised that Crystal invited her to get ready for their double date together. Not that she didn't want to get ready with Crystal, because she very much did. She just had noticed the slightest bit of tension between them ever since Crystal knew about Jan and Gigi. Nevertheless, when Nicky asked Jan on a double date and Crystal asked to get ready together, Jan happily yet tentatively accepted both offers. 

"Did Nicky send you a selection of outfits to wear? I know that was her intent," Crystal laughed as she and Jan started applying their makeup in Crystal's cozy room. 

"Selection? Girl, she told me specifically what I should wear," Jan giggled. "She intends on wearing her wide leg, black trousers with that black crepe jacket, with the gold trim she got last week. And that red satin cowl neck top you convinced her to get. So naturally, I had to wear my red bodycon sleeveless thing from last Christmas. And only gold jewellery so I don't clash with her trim."

"Seems like Nicky Nicky put just a little effort into this night," Crystal teased. 

"Oh, just a little," Jan said, rolling her eyes, but clearly flattered. "To tell you the truth, I was pretty surprised about this whole double date."

"Why?"

"I didn't know what Nicky wanted," Jan shrugged. "Like, I'm stoked. Nicky is a model, and she's got the purest heart. Anyone would be lucky to take her out. But I'm the first girl she's been with. I was kind of wondering if I was just an experiment at first, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that," Crystal said with a quick nod.

"I wouldn't have been the first lesbian to have a crush and sleep with their straight friend, only to find out they were just being used." Jan sighed. "So I wondered about that when we started sleeping together. I tried really hard to temper my expectations about the whole situation. Which you know is especially difficult for me!"

"When Nicky told me she wanted to ask you out, she was pretty thrilled," Crystal said, offering Jan a reassuring smile. Jan clicked a set of tweezers together, motioning for Crystal to lay on her lap. In their group, Jan had a knack for sculpting decent eyebrows, so they all were happy to give her a brow canvas.

"Yeah, I feel better about it since she was the one who asked," Jan nodded, pulling a few stray eyebrow hairs from Crystal's face. Crystal jumped every time a hair was plucked.

"I think she's got a pretty serious crush, Jan."

"I hope so," Jan said with a large grin. "I've had a crush on her forever. I mean, she's Nicky. How could I not, you know? I just never imagined I'd have a chance."

"You've got more than a chance! You've got a date! And she's the one who asked. This is a big night!" Crystal winced as Jan started to work on the brow hairs just above her eyelid. Those were always the most painful. 

"Hey, you've got a big night ahead of you too! Your first date with my Gee," Jan reminded her. Crystal's lip twitched upon hearing Jan's affectionate name for Gigi. Jan noticed the reaction but assumed it was because of the plucking. "Did that one hurt? I'm done anyway. Check them out!"

"You always do such a good job," Crystal said, examining her eyebrows in one of the mirrors that lay on her bed. Not a single hair was out of place.

"Thanks, girl! All I ask in exchange is that you treat my Gee well! And help me with my wings, of course," Jan laughed as she handed Crystal her eyeliner. Crystal forced out a chuckle and switched places with Jan. Looking at her friend's soft face, as she applied her eye makeup, Crystal decided she would take the advice she gave Nicky and just talk to Jan.

"Jan, I'm a little apprehensive about your relationship with Gigi and it's not fair of me to feel that way probably. But it's how I feel. So I wanted to tell you." Crystal spoke quickly but calmly, as she didn't want to smudge Jan's eyeliner. 

"Okay," Jan said, taking a deep breath. "See, I was a bit worried about getting ready together because I was scared this tension was here, but I like this. I love you a lot and I'm glad you want to talk about it."

"Oh," Crystal said with a small chuckle. "Well thank you. I'm trying to voice things now instead of doing nothing and moping."

"I love that for you!" Jan clapped her hands together. "Go after it, girl. Self-advocate!"

"I'm trying," Crystal agreed.

"I think your feelings are super valid. I do," Jan began. "So what can I do? How can I help you be less apprehensive?"

"I don't think that there is really anything, honestly." Crystal admitted. "I think it's something I'll have to work out. But I felt like I owed it to our friendship to tell you."

"Thank you for telling me," Jan said, pulling Crystal into a tight hug. Crystal buried herself into the hug, catching a whiff of the lavender scent Jan seemed to exude. She remembered the times she had smelled that same scent on Gigi and it didn't help. "I know you've heard it from both of us but it really was just sex."

"I know," Crystal said. "And Nicky made the point that you guys have had the chance to date for over two years, so if you wanted to-"

"That's exactly right. And when it started happening, we agreed it was only until someone opted out. And she opted out the day after you two slept together, Crystal. Even though she didn't know if you wanted her, she was too into you to continue with me, you know?"

"Really?" Crystal was partially surprised.

"Yeah, girl! Gigi is invested, and I'll remind you whenever you're feeling weird about it all. And I’m much to anxious about fucking things up with Nicky to think about anyone or anything else.” Jan said with a self-deprecating laugh. “I have no idea what she’s doing with _me_.”

“She likes you, Jan,” Crystal said, rolling her eyes. “It’s not complicated.”

“But she’s  _ Nicky _ and I’m just Jan.” 

“Listen, just Jan,” Crystal began. “You are beautiful. You’re a good friend. You’re stylish. You’re smart. You’re funny. And you and Jackie are the only people I know in our age group that have investments, so obviously you’re put together-ish. And you look jaw-droppingly delicious in that bodycon dress you're going to wear tonight. Nicky is as lucky as you are.” Jan’s face went from apprehension to ease very quickly.

“Thank you! That means a lot.”

“Don’t mention it. I’m happy that we got ready together.” Crystal said, getting up to finish getting ready. “Now, I’ll help you into your slutty little dress, cause that zipper looks like a bitch.”

**

“Bonsoir, mes chéries,” Nicky greeted Jan and Crystal as she and Gigi met them at their table. The ladies had chosen to share their double date at a dark and quiet steak house a town over from where they lived. The chances of being spotted by anybody they worked with were fairly slim, which was important to all of them. Gossip and speculation are part of what happens in a close-knit work environment, so all of the staff had their thoughts about what was going on between the girls. But none of them were really ready for the conversations that disclosing their relationship officially to their superiors would raise. 

“Oui, bonsoir!” Jan greeted Nicky by jumping up from the table and pulling out a chair for Nicky. Crystal looked up and down both girls and realized that Nicky was right. Their coordinated outfit looked fantastic, and her coordination with Gigi had the same effect. Gigi had opted for an indigo challis dress that was tightly buttoned until the drop waist flared out into a rigid skirt. Crystal wore a simple black, structured jumpsuit with an indigo layering tank underneath. Nicky had made sure to coordinate their outfits around the freshly dyed indigo hair that Crystal was sporting. It was cheesy. It was chic. Crystal was glad that they had all let Nicky pick their outfits. 

“My, I feel like the belle of the ball!” Gigi laughed as she allowed Crystal to pull out her seat as well.

“You are, I’m glad you feel beautiful,” Crystal said, pushing in Gigi’s chair for her. 

“Look at these fine gentlemen,” Nicky teased as both Crystal and Jan returned to their seats. All four of the girls laughed and they all started to read their menus and fell into easy conversation. The waiter that took their order offered wine suggestions, and Crystal was intrigued to see how Gigi chatted with the waiter about years for grapes and dirt quality and tannins. 

“I didn’t know how well versed you are in viticulture,” Crystal said after the waiter left.

“I fell into a rabbit hole like, three summers ago, in my fourth year of uni. I got super into wine.” Gigi shrugged. “It’s pretty fun. I love going for tastings.”

“Plus, when you go out, you know Gigi will always find you the best wine,” Jan laughed. “I don’t think she’s ever steered me wrong with a suggestion.”

“And yet any time I’ve seen you drink, you drink the cheapest vodka on the planet!” Crystal said, and the other girls agreed. 

“Listen,” Gigi laughed. “I love fine wine. That doesn’t mean I can afford it.”

“If you like wine, just tell Gigi that’s what you want for your birthday,” Nicky suggested. “She pulls out all the stops if it’s a gift. And if it’s for someone else, you know she puts more time and money into it.”

“Noted,” Crystal said with a nod. Gigi was smiling brightly at Crystal, obviously excited for Crystal to learn something innocuous about her. She was right when she told Crystal that they didn’t know enough about each other to become partners, but Nicky was right because that’s simply what dates are for.

Another thing Nicky was right about was how excellent a double date would be. All four of the girls enjoyed their night. They ate, drank, and were merry. Gigi was excited to learn a lot of the little things about Crystal, which she thought was important in a relationship. Crystal was happy to watch Gigi’s body language and see what her actions meant. Nicky was interested in learning about Jan as a way to learn more about the girl and her own sexuality. Jan was thrilled to find out how interested Nicky actually was in her. And the double date between friends alleviated the pressure that first dates often held. 

After a very successful evening, buzzing from excitement and some of the girls from wine, they all gathered in Gigi’s car. Nicky and Crystal had been invited to spend the night at Gigi and Jan’s shared apartment. Gigi drove and Crystal tried not to giggle from the shotgun seat when she noticed Nicky’s hand inching higher and higher on Jan’s thigh during the drive. Nicky and Jan rushed out of the car, up the stairs, and had locked themselves in Jan’s bedroom before Gigi and Crystal had even gotten into the apartment. Their eagerness made the other girls laugh.

“Those two, I swear.” Gigi shook her head.

“Can’t keep their hands off each other,” Crystal laughed. Both of the girls sat on the same couch, sitting in silence. They shared a moment of peace after their date, both feeling very hopeful for each other and their future. After a few comfortable moments, Crystal started to feel bold. She closed the gap between herself and Gigi, resting her hand on Gigi’s thigh and rubbing slightly.

“Borrowing Nicky’s move?” Gigi smirked.

“Maybe,” Crystal shrugged. “But judging by the yelps coming from Jan’s room, her moves worked.”

“It’s working for you too,” Gigi whispered as she moved to straddle Crystal, letting their lips touch softly. Crystal inhaled sharply but accepted the kiss willingly. They held their mouths together for as long as they both could. The kiss was one of the softest and most passionate the two had shared. There was no pretense, no secrets, and no words that they wished they could share. There was nothing in the world besides Crystal and Gigi. Gigi grabbed Crystal’s hands and led them to the buttons on the front of her dress. Her intentions were clear, and Crystal followed her direction, unfastening her buttons. Gigi wiggled backward off of Crystal slowly and gave enough space for Crystal to slide the dress off Gigi’s shoulders and down onto the floor. 

“Your bra and panties match my hair too,” Crystal laughed, breaking the sensual nature of the moment.

“It was Nicky’s idea!” Gigi blushed, sitting down on Crystal quickly, attacking Crystal's lips with hers in an attempt to end the teasing.

“You told Nicky that you thought I’d see you in your panties tonight?”

“I hoped you would,” Gigi said with a giggle. She pulled Crystal up off the couch and slid off the jumpsuit that Crystal was wearing. The cool air of the apartment and her arousal coupled to make goosebumps appear all over Crystal’s body. Crystal pulled Gigi close, unhooking her bra and tossing it to the floor.

“I’ve thought about you in your panties a lot lately,” Crystal teased.

“Good,” Gigi moaned, as Crystal started leaving kisses along Gigi’s collarbone and down to her breasts. “I want you in my bed right now.”

“Eager?” 

“No, just anxious that one of those two will come out here and see,” Gigi laughed, so Crystal lifted Gigi off the floor and got her to wrap her legs around her waist, carrying her to the bedroom. Gigi couldn’t help but think of when she told Jan that when she fucked Crystal, it was going to mean something. The first time meant a lot, but this time meant something completely different. Something beautiful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really REALLY thought about writing smut! I swear!!!! It's just something I am beyond unsure about!
> 
> Please leave a comment if you're inclined! I would love to hear what you're thinking, and the reviews really get me so jazzed to keep going. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading!
> 
> Cheers!


	13. Moving Flawlessly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gigi turns twenty-five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the few days wait on this one! I was really unsure of the structure of this one as I was writing, and ended up rewriting twice before being happy with it! Thank you very much for your patience, and I hope that it lives up to the expectations!!!
> 
> Also, I also can't thank you all enough for the comments and kudos! You've all made me feel so good about sharing my work. It's unbelievably kind and validating. Thank you x 20043434!!
> 
> Cheers!

Gigi was turning twenty-five, so the girls from Brita’s Boutique decided that they had to pull out all the stops. They started by getting ready at Jackie’s, eating Gigi’s favourite fries and listening to the party playlist that Jaida had put together. Nicky had tried desperately to coordinate all of their outfits, but their different styles made it difficult. She settled on a theme, requesting that all of the women incorporated something neon into their outfit. They spent their evening getting ready to go to a club. When the girls went out, they tended to avoid clubs, since Jackie and Crystal weren’t too partial to them. But they all knew Gigi would want to spend the night dancing, so even the introverted girls were pumping themselves up for a club. They agreed to take Ubers home so nobody had to drive, hoping that maybe Jackie and Crystal would get tipsy enough to stay out of their shells. 

“Dance with me,” Gigi yelled at Crystal as the girls entered the club. The second they had checked their coats, Gigi was ready to dance. She grabbed Crystal’s hand and started dragging her to the floor.

“Excuse me!” Jackie exclaimed. “Birthday shots first!”

“Yeah,” Jaida agreed. “The first round is on Jackie!”

“Bitch! Well, you can help me carry them over, Jaida.” Jackie laughed but pulled some cash out of her purse as she made her way over to the bar. Instead of getting right to the floor, Gigi agreed to grab a table and enjoy birthday shots with her friends. Most of them were already fairly tipsy, but birthday shots were tradition. 

“A toast!” Jan began once Jaida and Jackie returned with a tray of vodka shots. “To my beautiful Gee. May your twenty-fifth year be the best you have so far! You deserve the world, my love. I hope all your dreams come true.”

“To Gigi!” The group of girls all yelled excitedly, clinking their plastic shot glasses and taking back their shots. Jaida always took her shot in sips, to the horror of the other girls. They laughed about it and cheered. 

“This is good shit,” Gigi said to Jackie. “Why did you go top shelf?”

“It isn’t every day our girl turns twenty-five! Only the best for my baby Gee!” Jackie exclaimed, pulling Gigi into a side hug. “Plus also, I can’t drink the vodka you drink, it’s sewage.”

“Fair,” Gigi laughed, grabbing tightly to Crystal’s hand. “Now let’s go dance! Please please please!"

“I’m a terrible dancer, Geege!” Crystal laughed as she was dragged out to the floor.

“Who cares?”

"I hate dancing!"

"I don't!"

“I don’t want to look like a dork,” Crystal yelled in Gigi’s ear, trying to not draw attention to herself, but make her nerves clear. Clubs were loud, congested, and warm. Not exactly Crystal’s idea of a good time. But as she stared at Gigi in her neon pink cropped halter top, her tight faux-leather leggings, her tall boots, and high ponytail, if this was how Gigi was going to look, she thought maybe the club wasn’t too bad. 

“You _are_ a huge dork,” Gigi laughed, pulling Crystal close and planting a kiss on her cheek. “Nobody is going to look at us anyway. They’re too drunk and concerned with themselves. It's gonna just be you and I, baby."

“That’s true,” Crystal nodded as Gigi put her body flush against Crystal. Gigi wrapped her arms around Crystal’s neck and started moving her hips. She was grinding against Crystal to the beat of the song, both women feeling the music with their bodies. They connected completely, chest to chest, and Crystal felt at ease. The swinging of Gigi's ass rocked her into a state of comfort. Their friends made comments as they walked by and joined them on the dance floor, but neither Crystal nor Gigi heard what was being said. Crystal was too busy feeling Gigi’s breath on her neck and feeling Gigi’s hands on her hips to notice anything. If she got to be with Gigi, Crystal thought that maybe she could get used to going to clubs. Their lips connected, and Gigi realized how salacious they looked, revelling in the moment. 

“Do you want another drink?” Crystal hollered over the bass from the speakers after a few songs. She found herself getting hot and bothered by Gigi’s movements, and needed to centre herself. 

“Always,” Gigi laughed, grabbing Crystal’s hands and leading her toward the bar. Crystal scanned around the dance floor to see what her friends had gotten up to. Nicky was dancing with Jan and Jackie, bouncing to the music. Jan was screaming the lyrics to every song as the other two girls laughed. Jaida was at the bar flirting with a very cute bartender who was receptive to the beautiful girl’s advances. Not that Jaida ever had a hard time getting attention, but the gorgeous black mini dress and neon orange heels she was wearing didn't hurt. Crystal smiled, actually enjoying her night more than she expected.

“Two vodka sodas, please!” Crystal yelled to a bartender that Jaida wasn’t flirting with.

“No rum and Coke?” Gigi asked.

“It’s your day! I’m drinking what you drink!”

“Well, you know,” Gigi began, touching Crystal and giggling. “Jackie sprung for the top shelf vodka in our drinks.”

“Don’t push your luck, Goode,” Crystal laughed. Her skin was on fire where Gigi was touching her. The beautiful girl giggled and waited for her drink, moving her hands down Crystal’s back, to put a hand in her back pocket.

“Gigi Goode?” A voice rang out from behind them, and both girls turned to find out who was calling Gigi. A short girl with dark, curly hair and dark eyes was smiling brightly, holding a drink in her hands. “Bitch, do they just let anyone in this place? Mary, I haven’t seen you out in forever. I thought you died!”

“Vanessa!” Gigi squealed, jumping away from Crystal and running over to the girl. She embraced the girl in a tight hug while giggling.

“Do you just not answer texts anymore, mama?” Vanessa wiggled out of Gigi’s hug, but grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

“Girl,” Gigi gasped. “Work has been brutal lately. I hardly do anything else anymore!”

“Who are you here with?” Vanessa asked, cocking her head toward Crystal.

“Crys, come here!” Gigi exclaimed, gesturing for Crystal to join the conversation. Crystal felt very apprehensive but approached the two women. She grabbed the drinks she had just got for herself and Gigi. Gigi happily took a small sip as Crystal sucked back as much of the liquid as her mouth could hold in one gulp. 

“This hair, baby!” Vanessa yelled out, touching Crystal’s indigo curls. Crystal offered a tight smile, very uncomfortable. “You’re gorgeous! Are you another one of Brita's bots?"

“This is Crystal, my friend from work!” Gigi exclaimed, and Crystal felt her stomach drop. Gigi’s friend from work. She was Gigi's friend from work. That couldn't just be what Gigi thought. They hadn’t talked about what they were. She hadn’t been single for very long. There were many reasons that Gigi may have said that, but Crystal still wasn’t happy to hear it. “I’m here with my other friends from work. It’s my birthday, so we all came out to dance. Crystal, this is Vanessa. We go way back!”

“Nice to meet you,” Crystal said politely, gulping back more of the drink. 

“Happy birthday bitch! I thought it was coming up, but you don’t answer me anymore so I couldn't take you out,” Vanessa teased and Gigi rolled her eyes. Crystal couldn’t stop noticing how touchy Vanessa was with Gigi. Her hands explored Gigi's arms and fingers the whole time they spoke.

“I’ll be better I swear!” Gigi laughed.

"Wait, you're here with the Brita bots?” Vanessa clarified.

“Yeah girl,” Gigi agreed.

“Is the sexy Persian chick here? The one who is always at the register with the nice tits?” Vanessa raised one of her eyebrows and turned to scan the dance floor. She gave Gigi a smirk when she noticed Jackie dancing with Nicky and Jan.

“You’re so bad!” Gigi laughed. “Down girl. You're not her type. She’s a nice girl. And a total nerd!”

“Those are my favourite,” Vanessa said with a wink, making her way toward the dance floor. “Duty calls, Mary.”

“God, she’s hilarious,” Gigi said, turning to Crystal. “Think she’s going to have any luck with Jackie?”

“Maybe,” Crystal said with a forced smile. She was uncomfortable with the interaction, but she wasn’t going to let it stop her from celebrating Gigi’s birthday. “That Vanessa has her work cut out for her with Miss Cox, but she seems charming.”

“She is,” Gigi agreed. “Are you already done with that drink?”

“Yep,” Crystal said, realizing that she had knocked back her drink much more quickly than she had intended. It was a nervous habit.

“Lush!” Gigi laughed.

“Just trying to turn my introverted brain off,” Crystal said, turning to the bar. She knew that to keep the mood light with Gigi, she was going to need another drink. Her insecurities were not going to stop the girl she was falling for from having a wonderful birthday. Crystal would make sure to address her feelings eventually, but Gigi’s blue eyes were beckoning her to the dance floor, and who was she to ignore those eyes?

**

“That was the best night,” Gigi mumbled as she woke up in her bed, tangled up with Crystal. She planted a kiss on the blue-haired girl’s forehead and offered her a great big smile.

“I’m glad!” Crystal said happily, but with sleep still stuck in her throat. 

“I can’t believe you danced with me all night! I know it isn’t your thing but it made my night," Gigi clapped her hands together and started to make her way out of bed. “It made me so happy. God, you’re fantastic. I swear I’ll make sure we don’t have any dancing on your birthday. Want me to grab some coffee or water or something?”

“Both,” Crystal said. Gigi nodded and left the room. Crystal let out a sigh, still stuck on the thought of the girl from the night before. Vanessa ended up partying with the boutique girls for the rest of the night, making Jackie fairly speechless and flustered the whole time. Crystal wondered if Jackie was going to pass out when Vanessa pulled her close to grind against her slowly and nuzzled into her neck. Jackie wasn't good at dealing with flirting, but Vanessa was so brazen that Jaida bet money that Jackie would end up giving in. After all, Vanessa was a very charming girl who fit in with their friend group fairly easily. But that was a bit uncomfortable for Crystal. She had already worked through a lot of her discomfort with Jan, but there was another level of jealousy Crystal knew she would have to work through. The partner she had been with for her whole adolescence and adulthood had only been with her until he cheated. But there were no past relationships to think about. But Gigi had many past relationships. Inherently, that wasn’t Crystal’s problem. It was how beautiful Vanessa was. It was how beautiful Jan was. It was how beautiful a lot of Gigi's partners were. Hell, it was how beautiful Gigi was. Why would Gigi be bothering with her? Gigi returned with two mugs of hot coffee and a glass with ice and water. Crystal thanked her and drank most of her water in one gulp.

“Thirsty?” Gigi teased as Crystal finished up the water in her second gulp.

“Did you have sex with Vanessa?” Crystal blurted out.

“I’m pretty sure  _ you _ were between my knees all night. You would have noticed if Vanessa was there,” Gigi teased, kissing Crystal on the shoulder.

“Geege,” Crystal sighed.

“Does it matter?” Gigi asked.

“That’s a yes.”

“Yeah, I slept with her, like a million years ago,” Gigi said, confusion on her face. “But who cares? She looked at Jackie like a piece of meat all night! You don't think there's anything to worry about, right?"

“She’s beautiful.” Crystal started drinking the hot coffee and letting the dark liquid burn her throat. She knew she was being petulant and airing her insecurities, but she couldn’t stop. “Do you only fuck supermodels?”

“Yeah,” Gigi said with a smile. “You should see the girl who fucked me all last night. She is a total babe. Edgy punk with blue hair. Best kisser of all time. Worst dancer of all time too, but she’s still so cute. You’d love her.”

“Stop,” Crystal said with a laugh.

“Crys,” Gigi began. “I like you. I like you a lot. I want to date you. I want to kiss you outside of sex! I want to be there for you, like, emotionally! This is the real deal here, babe. There isn’t anything to worry about. I’m not Nathan.”

“It’s not really that. I think I’m just insecure because _ you’re  _ so beautiful.” Crystal admitted as Gigi moved to kiss across Crystal’s back, planting so many small kisses that Crystal lost count. Gigi’s nose dragged along Crystal’s skin, tickling her lightly.

“And?”

“And, well, look at me.”

“Crystal,” Gigi breathed. “You’re stunning. I can’t believe you can’t see it. Did One Direction teach you nothing? Baby, you light up my world like nobody else!”

“You’re insane,” Crystal laughed. “But you know it’s true. Everyone looks at us and thinks that you could do better.”

“Nobody thinks that,” Gigi said, rolling her eyes.

“How could they not?”

“You stop this,” Gigi commanded. “You have completely changed my life. Everything about our relationship is new to me. But I still only fuck people I think are stunning. That didn’t change. You’re so hot Crys.”

“Geege,” Crystal breathed as Gigi’s hands slipped her hands under Crystal’s pyjama top, holding her in a bear hug from behind, starting to play with her nipples. Gigi started kissing Crystal’s neck, and she felt herself melting and relaxing under Gigi’s hands. 

“So sexy,” Gigi breathed in Crystal’s ear, biting the lobe gently.

“You can’t finger my insecurities away,” Crystal teased.

“I can try,” Gigi said solemnly before giving Crystal a goofy smile. Both girls laughed and enjoyed the feeling of each other’s bodies when both of their phones began to blow up. They knew it was likely their group chat with the girls from work, as they were both getting a barrage of messages. Gigi removed herself from Crystal and crawled across the bed to grab her phone.

"What's the drama?" Crystal asked. 

"Further reason that you don't have to worry about Vanessa," Gigi laughed, turning her phone to Crystal. Jackie had sent their group chat a selfie from her big bed, but this selfie included Vanessa. Jackie was puckering her lips and flashing a peace sign at the camera. Vanessa had been caught mid-laugh in the picture, but still managed to flip off the camera. 

"I guess I owe Jaida five bucks," Crystal laughed, snuggling up with Gigi and clinking their mugs together in Jackie's honour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnd there we go! I should have at LEAST one more update within the next few days, but then I will probably have to take a few days off. My work is re-opening and I'm moving in with my girlfriend so things are going to be a bit wild. I promise one more update at least though. And if the transition is as smooth as I hope.... well you all know I can't resist writing these fics!!
> 
> Thank you guys for all the comments and kudos!! Please, if you're so inclined, leave another comment!!! I love to hear what you guys think. Love you all!!
> 
> Cheers!!


	14. When You Strike Your Goodbye Pose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal meets Nathan for coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I cannot thank you all enough for the love you've shown me. This piece is something I'm really proud of, and you've all made me feel safe and good about posting. This has been such a positive experience. So really, I can't ever thank you all enough. 
> 
> Cheers!

Crystal sat in the coffee shop, full of apprehension. When Nathan had asked her to meet so they could talk, she had initially denied. The way things had ended between them was far too explosive for her to agree to see him at her old apartment. But when he changed the location and appealed to her sense of nostalgia, she relented and agreed. She fiddled with the lukewarm cup of coffee as she waited to see Nathan, feeling extremely nervous. Crystal also felt these nerves because she neglected to tell Gigi that she was going to see Nathan. After waiting for ten minutes, Nathan appeared in the large windows of the coffee shop and gave Crystal a small wave.

"I honestly didn't know if you'd come," Nathan said after he had grabbed his coffee and pulled up a chair to sit across from Crystal. 

"I honestly didn't know if I'd come," Crystal admitted. 

"I'm glad you did. I miss you. My life is so different without you, Crys," Nathan said as he reached out to grab Crystal's hand. Quickly, she jerked it away.

"It's different," Crystal acknowledged.

"We both need some closure," Nathan began. "This wasn't the way that it was supposed to go between us. I know nobody goes into a relationship expecting to break up. But something about you and I always felt so right. Even when things were wrong. Especially when we were kids. You and I felt like forever when we were kids, you know?"

"I do," Crystal agreed. "I remember those stupid kids. We were so full of hope."

"Everything felt so limitless," Nathan laughed. "Things are so different now. Things are a lot more stuck."

"Adult life came hard."

"That it did," Nathan nodded as he took a long drink of his coffee.

"Is this what you wanted? You just wanted to talk about the perils of ageing?" Crystal laughed as Nathan made another reach to hold her hand. Again, his advances were rebuffed. 

"I miss you."

"Nate-"

"I miss you. Every day I look for you. The bed feels so empty without you. The house is silent and I just want to hear your laughs and hear you sing along to the radio and see your smile. My life feels so wrong, Crys. Everything is so wrong." Nathan looked pained and heartbroken enough that Crystal finally let him take her hand. 

"I don't know what to say," she stammered.

“Say you miss me,” Nathan suggested. 

“Nathan, I will always love you. You were my first love. You were my first everything. You are so intertwined in all of these formative years and important moments in my life.” Crystal began. She had a lot more to say, but Nathan interrupted her before she could finish.

“So then what are we doing? Why don’t you come home, then?”

“I will always love you,” Crystal started to say. “Or rather, I will always have love for you. I will always have a spot in my heart dedicated to you. And I think of you a lot too. I miss a lot of things about you. But I am not in love with you. You’re not in love with me either, Nathan.”

“Things are different, but we love each other.” Nathan shook his head fervently. 

“I don’t, Nathan. And neither do you.”

“I know that’s not true. If I didn’t love you, why does this hurt so much? If there wasn’t love between us, why do I miss you so much?”

“You miss sixteen-year-old Crystal,” she clarified. “You miss the doting, wide-eyed teenage girl who followed you around. You miss the punk girl you snuck into 18+ shows with to smoke a joint and headbang with. You miss when we could just run around with no real responsibilities. And don’t think I don’t miss those days too. There was so much good, Nathan. We had so much good. We were so good for each other. But the keyword is  _ were _ . We were so good for each other, but now, we aren’t.”

“We just can’t throw this away,” Nathan said sadly. 

“We already did!” Crystal said emphatically.

“Yeah, we fell apart. But we can fall back together. We always do. We have hard times and we fight through them.” It hurt Crystal to hear Nathan beg. There still was something in her heart that loved him. She could still hear sixteen-year-old Nathan singing along to metal bands and could still feel the way sixteen-year-old Crystal felt about him. 

“You don’t want this.” Crystal shook her head and finally pulled her hand away from Nathan.

“I do. I want you.”

“Did you cheat on me?” Crystal asked suddenly.

“What?”

“Just what I asked. Did you cheat on me?”

“Why are you asking that?”

“You say you love me and you want me,” Crystal began. “So be honest with me. If you think that we should be together, you can be honest, right?”

“Yeah,” Nathan agreed tentatively. 

“So be honest with me,” Crystal asked.

“You first,” Nathan raised his eyebrows and looked intently at Crystal.

“You already know,” Crystal shook her head.

“I want to know what happened between you and Gigi. I want to know more. All you told me was that you had sex with her.”

“What else could I possibly tell you?” Crystal asked, letting out an inappropriate laugh. 

“How long?”

“We slept together once. Only one time. And when it happened, I stopped denying it. For so long you accused me of fucking her and I fought it. But eventually, I stopped fighting, remember? Like I just didn’t even address it with you anymore. It was after that. Because I had already lied by omission, so I didn’t want to lie out loud.” Crystal didn’t know why she felt the need to share with Nathan. It wasn’t as though he deserved honesty. They had shared their relationship and owed each other nothing more than a clean break. But she shared anyway.

“What did I do? To chase you away.” Nathan asked.

“We both did a lot of things.” She didn’t want to shift the blame onto him completely. 

“Can you just admit that I called it? I knew there was something between you two. I said if from the first day that you worked at that fucking store, Crystal.” Nathan was starting to get angry, which was exactly what Crystal had worried about.

“Sure,” Crystal nodded. “I was attracted to Gigi from the first moment I met her. But what difference does that make now? Who cares if I thought she was cute?”

“I wanted to hear you say it.” Nathan felt as though he had gotten the last word, and shot Crystal a very smug look.

“So now it’s your turn,” Crystal said, with much more of a taunting tone than she intended. But she was getting frustrated. 

“My turn?”

“I have told you everything. I have told you absolutely everything that you asked me to tell you. And still, nothing. There is nothing from you. This is a problem, Nathan. This is an ongoing issue.” Crystal expressed her frustration, gesticulating wildly. “You say that you think we should be together, but you can’t admit to anything. And this is not the first time we’ve had this fight. Plus, you gaslight me. You made me feel crazy for not trusting you. You made me feel like I was manipulating you whenever I dared disagree. It took me so long to realize, but it isn’t normal that you turned everything around against me.”

“How have I ever gaslit you?” Nathan asked, feigning incredulity. Fortunately, Crystal had become accustomed to his fakeness. She didn’t even bother answering him. Instead, she took a sip of her coffee and eyed him up and down.

“Tell me about when you cheated on me.” 

“I didn’t cheat on you.”

“Tell me. Be honest with me. If you have any respect for me or love for me, look me in the eye and tell me the truth. You said we were here for closure. You expected me to provide that for you, and I did! But you’re withholding it from me purposely. Did you come here just to ask about Gigi?” Crystal felt her blood pressure rising.

“No,” Nathan snapped. “I miss you. It’s that simple.”

“Tell me about the panties in the car, then,” Crystal goaded him further.

“I don’t know how they got there, Crystal,” Nathan lied. Crystal took a final drink of her coffee and rose from her seat.

“Nate,” Crystal said, rolling her eyes. “This has been enlightening. And you’re right. This made me feel a ton of closure. Because I can walk away knowing that nostalgia gives me rose coloured glasses. Being done with you... that was the right choice. Goodbye, Nathan.”

“Crystal-” Nathan started to say, as Crystal turned on her heels and walked out of the coffee shop. She felt on top of the world as she opened the door until she came face to face with Jackie, Vanessa, and Gigi.

“Hey! I called you! I got off work early, the store was so slow it was unbelievable. I wanted to know if you come with us or if you wanted me to bring you a coffee!” Gigi said, as the four girls got out of the way of the doors. 

“Geege,” Crystal said, with a look of surprise on her face.

“What are you doing here? I thought you said you were-” Gigi stopped when she realized that she could see Nathan walking toward the door. Her face showed her complete confusion as they watched Nathan exit the coffee shop hastily. He caught Gigi’s eye and smirked.

“Goodbye Gigi,” he taunted with a wave of his hand as he walked away from the group of girls. 

“Were… were you here with Nathan?”Gigi asked, pain and surprise evident on her face.

“Gigi, this isn’t at all what it looks like,” Crystal said earnestly. Gigi wanted to believe her, but she remembered that those words were the same as the ones she used when Nathan saw them kissing.

“Come on Big Cox, let me buy you a coffee,” Vanessa said, pulling Jackie into the coffee shop, passed the girls. Gigi and Crystal stood in silence for a few minutes. 

“Geege,” Crystal began.

“Crystal, were you here with him?”

“He asked me to meet him here,” Crystal explained. “He said he wanted to have coffee and talk about everything. He did want to get back together or have sex or something, but I swear, I turned him down. That's all that happened. You have to believe me.”

“I want to,” Gigi began, feeling her eyes well up with tears. 

“I promise. Geege, I wouldn’t do anything to throw you away. It’s you. It’s been you since the day I met you.” She reached and pulled Gigi into a tight hug. By then, both girls were fighting back tears. Crystal was embarrassed, and Gigi was confused.

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“What do you mean?”

“Even if you did just meet him to talk, why didn’t you say something? To me? To Jackie who you live with? To anyone? Because everyone thought-” Gigi began to cry.

“I don’t know,” Crystal said, letting out a small sob. Both girls were fully conscious that they were standing out in front of a busy coffee shop. They were feeling a lot of embarrassment and discomfort, but they wanted to finish what they were discussing. Even if they were in public.

“What do you think I would have done? You’re a grown woman, you can do whatever you want. I can’t understand why you wouldn’t have let me know if it was innocent.” Gigi was on the brink of hysterics. 

“It was innocent,” Crystal tried to reassure the girl she was falling in love with.

“Why didn’t you just tell me? Why did you lie?”

“This isn’t a pattern. I am not a cheater,” Crystal cried. “I know I did cheat, but that was because I was falling in love with you, Gigi. That was something different. You're different. We are different."

“You were together for eight years, that constitutes different, doesn’t it?” Crystal shook her head quickly at Gigi’s implication.

“No, Gigi you know me. You know me.” 

“Crys, I honestly don’t understand why you didn’t tell me. I do know you. So I know that you didn’t fuck him or anything.” Gigi wiped her eyes on the back of her sleeves.

“I didn’t want you to try to talk me out of speaking to him,” Crystal explained. “And it was stupid. It was incredibly stupid. I am so sorry. I wish you knew how sorry I am.”

“This feels weird,” Gigi sighed. 

“Please,” Crystal begged. “You know it was innocent.”

“I don’t care that you saw Nathan, Crystal. I care that you think I would have tried to stop you. I care that you lied. And not only by not telling me. You looked right at me and told me your plans for today, and left this very big detail out. On purpose!” Gigi felt like continuing to sob, but she held her composure. Vanessa and Jackie were waiting for her, and she wanted to join her friends.

“I am so in over my head Gigi,” Crystal said.

“This is just weird. It’s so weird that you lied about it.”

“It is weird. It was so stupid. It was so unfair. Gigi, I fucked up. I had no reason to lie.”

“Look,” Gigi sighed. “I came here to have a coffee with Jackie and Vanessa. I’m going to have coffee with Jackie and Vanessa. I need to have coffee. I’ll call you later, okay? I promise I’ll call. But I can’t do this right now. I need to think.”

“Gigi, please don't go-” Crystal began, but Gigi opened the door to the coffee shop. She looked intently at Crystal for a long time.

“I’ll talk to you later,” Gigi said, letting the door of the coffee shop close behind her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T HATE ME!
> 
> This is it for probably a week, with work and school and moving... officially back to reality after quarantine. After about a week I will be back up to my crazy update schedule. 
> 
> Please leave a comment and let me know how you think! Your comments honestly make me feel fantastic and make me want to update more and I love knowing what you guys think. I will be back as soon as humanly possible! 
> 
> Cheers!!


	15. The Party of my Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jan stops Gigi from making a mistake. Crystal and Gigi lay it all on the line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for your patience over this last week! It took a little bit longer than I'd hoped because I actually really had a hard time with this chapter. It was one that made me pretty emotional and it took a few rewrites before I felt I had something I was thrilled to share with you guys. And this is the one.
> 
> CW for sexual assault/rape mention. Again, it's not a lot or anything explicit. But I still want you all to be safe!
> 
> Thank you so so so so so much for the wonderful feedback. I hope this chapter was worth the wait!!
> 
> Cheers!

Once upon a time, Gigi Goode was infallible and unbreakable. After she had the worst experience of her life, Gigi decided that she had the power to escape any bad feelings brought on by being assaulted. So she used that power to run from any negative feelings. She became a girl who loved the taste of vodka and longed for the warmth of a stranger's hands all over her body. Nobody had the power to hurt Gigi, because she was always gone before the sun came up. And if they had sex more than once, it was already agreed upon that it was meaningless. It was all pleasure and no pressure. Gigi made herself a home without the need for attachment from partners. Trust wasn't necessary. Love wasn't even a question. There was nobody to appease. There was nobody to focus on except Gigi. Her days were filled with building herself back up, and her nights were filled with lust. Gigi loved the freedom and confidence that sex gave her. It was addictive. Once upon a time, Gigi let a man hurt her. She let a man destroy her. She had completely trusted someone, and was burned doubly has hard because of it. But never again. After that moment, Gigi decided no other person would ever hurt her again.

But as she sat inside her car outside of Crystal and Jackie's apartment, Gigi realized that someone could hurt her again. She had fucked up and allowed Crystal to hurt her. So Gigi found herself in her car, unable to leave, letting herself sob heavily. Gigi had been hit with a brutal realization about her situation with Crystal. It wasn't as much about her meeting with Nathan. It wasn't as much about the lie. More than anything, it was about power. A power that Gigi no longer had. Gigi was able to be hurt by someone again. 

Gigi really did intend to march up to Crystal, tell her that from now on she required honest communication, and kiss her as she accepted Crystal's apology. Gigi did believe there was nothing between Crystal and Nathan, and she was sure that Crystal had lied because she felt stupid going to see him. And even though that wasn't the right thing to do, Gigi could empathize. After all, she had spent a great majority of her life with Nathan. Just having him gone had to burn, even if she was done with him completely. They had talked about it before. The change and the end of an era were the hardest things for Crystal to come to terms with, not the break up itself. But she couldn't convince herself to leave the car and go see Crystal. Her anxiety had rendered her body immobile. Gigi was in love. And that was very bad. Love had sounded so appealing with Crystal until the memories of what love had done before attacked Gigi's mind. After crying out front of Crystal's apartment for far too long, Gigi pulled out of the parking lot. She couldn't speak to Crystal. Instead, Gigi quickly got her Bluetooth to call Jan. Old habits die way too hard.

"Hey Gee," Jan said happily. It was apparent that neither Jackie nor Crystal had spoken to Jan about what happened at their coffee meeting.

"Jan, are you at home?" Gigi asked, trying to make sure there was no evidence of pain or sadness in her voice. 

"Yeah, I just got home from work. Girl, you're lucky Brita let you leave early. Slowest shift of all time," Jan said.

"Is Nicky there?" 

"She's closing, remember? She was starting her shift before you left." Jan reminded her.

"I'm coming home," Gigi said.

"Okay. What's up?" Jan asked, unsure why her roommate had called to check in with her. Gigi and Jan often let each other know what they were going to be up to during the day out of courtesy, but they didn't check in like that.

"Nothing," Gigi said, feigning a tone of absence. "Just curious."

**

Gigi walked in the door and she heard Jan greet her, but couldn't make out what Jan had said. She was too busy enveloping Jan with her body. Gigi had captured Jan's lips in a harsh, messy, desperate kiss. Jan's face immediately tensed up. Gigi tried to tangle her hands in Jan's hair, but Jan quickly broke free of Gigi's embrace.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Jan asked, extremely confused. She and Gigi hadn't engaged in any sexual activities since the first time Crystal was with Gigi. And Jan was far too interested in Nicky to involve herself with anyone else. They were exclusive, and it made them both happy.

"I need you," Gigi pleased. She couldn't hide from Jan, so her eyes filled with tears.

"Oh, Gee, what's wrong?" 

"Fuck me, Jan," Gigi begged. 

"Gee-"

"Jan I need you. Please. I just want to feel good. I need to feel good." By then, Gigi was sobbing so hard her chest was heaving and she was shaking.

"Baby-"

"Fuck me."

"You don't want that," Jan shook her head. Instead, she took Gigi's hand and lead her to the living room. Taking up residence on the couch, Jan pulled Gigi into a warm hug after draping a knit blanket over her body.

"Jan," Gigi sobbed.

"Please talk to me," Jan said sympathetically as she rubbed Gigi's back. "You're scaring me."

"Crystal lied to me about going to have coffee with Nathan," Gigi began after taking a deep breath. 

"Oh that's not good," Jan sighed. 

"I don't think it was anything bad. Honestly, I think she probably just felt stupid or something. Because I punched him and then she was going to see him." Gigi explained.

"That sounds like Crystal," Jan agreed.

"I genuinely think it was nothing," Gigi said with a heavy sigh. 

"So…" Jan pressed her to continue. 

"So," Gigi continued after a pause. "I drove to her house to speak to her. I was going to use Michelle's tips and speak calmly and use "I statements" and demand open and honest communication. But then I thought about how bummed I felt that she had lied to me. And how long it's been since my feelings for someone made me upset. And how long it's been since I had feelings for someone. And suddenly I was mad that I was sad!"

"Okay?" Jan was trying to follow Gigi's thoughts. 

"She made me  _ sad _ Jan. Crystal can make me sad." Gigi had almost calmed down but found fresh hot tears running down her cheeks.

"Baby," Jan sighed, realizing where Gigi was going. "This isn't anything like  _ him. _ "

"But it is, in a lot of ways. I'm genuinely in love with her, Jan. And I'm wide open vulnerable. I let my guard down completely and now my chest is open and my heart is exposed for her to just fucking stab it and stab it!" Gigi cried while miming a heavy and dramatic stabbing motion. 

"Since she isn't Jack the Ripper I'm sure you're fine," Jan teased, planting a kiss on Gigi's temple. 

"You know I'm being metaphorical!" 

"But girl-"

"After  _ him, _ I promised I wouldn't let anyone else hurt me ever again. And now I'm gooey and exposed and vulnerable and if she wants to hurt me, she can."

"Stop saying you let him hurt you," Jan said

"I did."

"Gigi, you were fucking  _ raped _ . You were attacked. You were raped. You didn't let him hurt you. You were violently and angrily attacked. It wasn't painful because of anything other than the rape. You didn't get attacked because you'd fallen in love. It genuinely wasn't because he was someone you loved. It was because he was a horrible person. Jesus Gigi, the aftermath full of pain wasn't your fault at all. You have to be gentle with yourself for once." Jan said soothingly but sternly.

"But if I didn't love him-"

"Then what? He was still a rapist! He was still evil!"

"I know, realistically," Gigi conceded.

"Like, this is all okay Gee. This is all allowed. You are allowed to feel scared and upset and devastated and nervous about the future. But you survived, you're alive, and the fact that you still  _ want _ to love is amazing. Michelle and you have talked about it a lot. Yeah, Crystal could hurt you in the future, but she might not. You could hurt her too. Relationships are fucky. " Jan softly spoke as she rubbed Gigi's back. 

"I wish I could just know how things were going to work out. And how to be a good partner. And if I will ever have to pick myself back up like that again," Gigi sighed. 

"Gee, nobody can predict the future. I know that we can't ever say that things are forever. But you have real feelings for Crystal and she has them for you. Don't you think that could be worth it to take a chance on?" Jan asked, reassuringly. 

"What if she doesn't love me the way I love her? What if I'm head over heels and shes not? And shes just gonna leave me?" Gigi questioned. 

"Let's be real Gee," Jan began. "Everyone loves differently. You've been interested in Crystal for a super long time, and that's new and weird. But she's into you too! Those feelings are reciprocated. We don't know what happens later, but we know she wants to be with you right now."

"And what happens when she doesn't want me anymore?" Jan wasn't able to answer Gigi because she was interrupted by a knock at the door. She excused herself and found Crystal was waiting on the other side. 

"Is she here?" Crystal asked desperately.

"Yeah," Jan nodded and let Crystal in

Quickly, Jan excused herself to allow the girls some time privately. Upon seeing how upset Gigi was, Crystal burst into tears and pulled Gigi into a deep hug. 

"You said you'd call," Crystal cried softly. 

"I tried," Gigi assured her. "I even tried to come to see you. But I was too anxious. I couldn't get out of the car. I'm sorry"

"Geege," Crystal said though her sobs. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't even think of how bad this would be. I should never have lied, it was so fucked up."

"I forgive you, honestly." Gigi nodded sadly. 

"I didn't tell you because I knew going to see him was a bad choice. I was appeasing some nostalgia within me. It was honestly nothing else," Crystal reassured.

"I know," Gigi nodded. "I get it. I hate that you lied, but I honestly understand. I wish you would have told me. Even the hard stuff and the awful stuff. I want to know."

"Done, I promise. Geege, you don't know how sorry I am. And how much I regret lying."

"It's okay," Gigi nodded. "It's seriously okay."

"But…" Crystal gestured to Gigi's obvious state of distress.

"It's hard to explain," Gigi sighed. 

"Try me."

"I love you, Crystal." Gigi paused and searched Crystal's face for a reaction. Crystal's mouth opened as though she was about to respond, but closed it quickly. She tried a few times to speak, but no words would come. "You don't have to say anything. Don't feel pressured to say it back or anything. But I do. I love you, Crystal. I just wanted to tell you."

"I hoped that when we talked about being in love, it would involve less crying and turmoil." Crystal said with a sad giggle. 

"It's  _ us _ Crys, it has to involve crying and turmoil," Gigi laughed. 

"So if you forgive me and you love me, why are you so upset?" Crystal asked tentatively.

"I'm scared," Gigi admitted softly.

"Of me?"

"Of you. Of love. Of us." Gigi admitted. 

"Yeah?"

"This is weird for me," Gigi said solemnly. "The last time I thought I was in love with someone, it was bad. And this is even more intense because you mean the world to me. You have all the power to break my heart and ruin my life, Crystal. It's scary."

"I'm a little nervous too," Crystal admitted.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Crystal nodded. "I'm not sure about anything in the world except for you. All I know anymore is you. You're what I have and you're all I want. It's all weird and scary and ugly and wild and I love you too, Gigi." 

"You do?" Gigi couldn't help but feel excited.

"This isn't how I imagined telling you, but yeah. It's probably weird and it's probably too fast. But its how I feel. And really, it's always weird for us," Crystal said with a warm smile. 

"You don't mind that I'm scared? And I'm probably going to fuck this up. Like a million times," Gigi said.

"Me too, for both. I'm gonna fuck things up. But I love you and I want to give this a real try." Crystal wrapped her arms tightly around Gigi.

"I kissed Jan," Gigi admitted. "I tried to get her in bed. Today. In the spirit of honesty, I need you to know. I'm sorry. Especially because it's her, which I know has been a sore spot. She didn't kiss me back. She shut it all down immediately. But I figured if I slept with her then-"

"Then you wouldn't be able to be hurt by me. Sabotage." Crystal nodded. 

"I'm embarrassed and sorry, but Jan talked sense into me," Gigi explained.

"I know, I trust her to look out for you when you can't look out for yourself. That's why you've chosen her as a best friend. She is good for you. I was jealous in the past but not anymore. Which is kind of ironic that now I'm not jealous... But I get it. You want to wreck it all so you don't feel hope. And this dating after trauma stuff is hard. I'm not excited you came to get fucked as a comfort, but I'm sure you're not excited I lied to you," Crystal said with a laugh.

"I want you to be my girlfriend. I want to love you without being scared. I want to fuck up and make mistakes and learn how to be a really good partner. I'm a mess, but I'm sincerely trying. I know that it's going to be hard but that's okay, I think. I want you, Crystal. If that's what you want." Gigi said excitedly. Crystal wiped tear stains off of Gigi's red face and planted a soft kiss on her lips.

"That's what I  _ need _ . I love you, Gigi."

"I love you too, Crystal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again! I hope so much that it was worth the wait! You guys have been so supportive that it's been unreal. You guys are amazing. 
> 
> Gimme a review if you like! I adore hearing what you're thinking!!
> 
> Cheers!


	16. Speakeasy Hole in the Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gigi realizes there are further consequences to her actions and she takes steps to solidify her future with Crystal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you all for the incredible feedback! I can't believe that we've almost made it through all twenty of the chapters I've planned! You guys are amazing! I am sorry that the updates have gotten slower. Brita's Boutique is very much based on my job and WOAH BOY back to business after lockdown has been wild. So I appreciate you guys being patient with me!!
> 
> Cheers!!

Nicky gathered all the strength that she had and pounded hard on the door of Jan's apartment. She had just spoken with Jan, who had discussed her interaction with Gigi the previous night. It was in the interest of being honest, and in that sense, Nicky was happy. Of course, it's wonderful to have your partner be honest, especially when things are new. And Jan had turned Gigi down. But that didn't change the fact that Gigi had come looking for Jan, even checking with Jan if Nicky was going to be home. Her and Gigi had always been friends, so it stung to know that Gigi had tried to rekindle that flame. Gigi had been on double dates with them, and sat with Nicky while she struggled with what being involved with Jan meant for her sexuality. Nicky felt like it was all bullshit.

Gigi happily opened the door and welcomed Nicky over, letting her know that Crystal, Vanessa and Jackie were all over for tea. Instead of calming Nicky down, this spurred her on further. Gigi had tried to sleep with the girl Nicky was dating, and was visiting with friends as though it was nothing. She felt burned twice. 

"Nicky!" Jackie greeted her happily, but Nicky ignored the other girls and their attempts to say hello.

"Salope!" Nicky spat angrily at Gigi.

"What?" Gigi asked incredulously. 

"That doesn't sound like a real happy term of endearment," Vanessa said under her breath to Jackie.

"She called her a slut," Jackie whispered back.

“Nicky-" Crystal interjected while sounding a bit confused, but Nicky shushed her quickly. She glared intensely at Gigi, who seemed to look more sad than confused. Nicky knew that Gigi knew what she was mad about.

"Stay out of this!" Nicky snapped. "Gigi, how could you? Do you have to fuck everybody? You can’t just be happy with your beautiful girlfriend? Or is it just when a girl is dating someone you're inexplicably attracted to them?"

“Hey! That's unfair and you know it," Crystal snapped back, realizing exactly what Nicky was angry about. Gigi sighed and shook her head, trying to think of what to say to Nicky

"Mary, this is drama," Vanessa whispered to Jackie, who promptly elbowed her. 

"Nicky," Gigi finally began. "Can we go talk on the balcony? Please?”

"We passed you asking me for anything! You want to discuss this privately? You tried to fuck my girlfriend! She tried to fuck my girlfriend," Nicky said specifically to Jackie and Vanessa.

"Jan?" Jackie asked, surprised.

"They've been sleeping together since Jan's first week!" Nicky exclaimed, exasperatedly, earning a grasp from Jackie and Vanessa. Jackie was surprised to hear about more of her coworkers sleeping together without her knowing. She had always assumed that she would be able to know if people she cared about were having sex. And she hadn't been able to call Jan and Gigi. Or Gigi and Crystal. Or Nicky and Jan. Vanessa was just enthralled by the drama in general.

"It’s long over, Nicky, I promise," Gigi tried to explain.

"I thought they were over when I asked Jan out or when she was fucking Crystal but apparent it's still a thing! And I reassured Crystal and myself many times-" Nicky explained to Vanessa's eager ears, feeling too heated and sad to act rationally. 

"Jan would never do anything to hurt you." Gigi tried to reassure, but Nicky was fired up and ready to fight. "Everything you feel is right and understandable but please, please yell at me in my room or on the balcony. Please? I want to talk just the two of us. You don't owe me anything right now, but I would appreciate it if you gave me the opportunity to talk."

To Gigi's surprise, Nicky sighed and agreed to take the conversation outside, much to Vanessa's dismay. The girls heard Vanessa whisper a quiet 'no' to Jackie, who was too busy trying to figure out which of her friends had had sex to scold her. Crystal looked at the girls, trying to silently communicate to Gigi that she had her back.

"Thank you for trying to hear me out," Gigi said as the two made their way to the balcony. She wanted to use some of the conflict management skills that Michelle was teaching her, so she thanked Nicky sincerely. Michelle would be very impressed with the growth and vulnerability Gigi had been showing. She would be a little less than impressed about the whole Jan thing, but that wasn't the point. 

"You said I could yell at you here," Nicky scoffed. She pulled a cigarette out of the small purse she had and lit it, taking a long drag.

"You're smoking again?" Gigi asked.

"You're trying to fuck my girlfriend again?" Nicky retorted, raising her eyebrows. The gesture elicited a small giggle from both girls, however begrudging their shared laughter was. They sat in silence for a while as Nicky smoked and Gigi watched her. 

“What exactly did Jan tell you?”

“That you had a huge melt down and you kissed her and tried to sleep with her but didn’t actually try to sleep with her and you had one of your talks and you’re so happy and everything is lovely and Jan took care of you as always,” Nicky quickly listed.

“She’s my best friend, Nicky,” Gigi said sadly.

“You took that for granted last night,” Nicky pointed out. “There are boundaries. There are clear boundaries and you know that she has a girlfriend.”

“I do, and that was really unfair of me,” Gigi agreed.

“And me! What about me?” 

“I was being selfish,” Gigi agreed. “I was being selfish and I want you to know that I accept the consequences. I’m so sorry, Nicky. I took advantage of Jan’s kindness and I was reckless with our friendship. I have a lot of issues, which, you know. But that doesn’t excuse what I did. I really fucked up. I’m so sorry.”

“You should be,” Nicky nodded. “I’m also fucked up about all of this too.”

“Still?” Gigi asked earnestly. 

“I have a girlfriend.” Nicky said.

“It’s different,” Gigi agreed.

“I’ve never had a steady partner ever. And Jan is too good to be true.” 

“Of all people,” Gigi said with a small laugh. “I know. I promise you, I know.”

“I feel weird. I used to feel so untouchable. There wasn’t a man that I cared enough about to explore anything with. It was always sex. It was all about sex. But Jan… she is so different. She has the biggest heart of anybody I’ve ever met. She is so happy. Even when she’s upset. She bakes bread and makes sure my good shoes are polished if I sleep over before a shift.” Nicky sighed, putting her head in her hands. 

“Jan is one of the best people I’ve ever known.”

“Is that why you tried to fuck her again?”

“Kind of,” Gigi said with a nod. “She’s safe. And I am so scared all the time, Nicky.”

“That’s funny,” Nicky said with a smile. “To me, she is the most terrifying creature on the planet. Those blue eyes have me trapped. They’re going to be the death of me. But to you, she is safety.”

“That’s because I’m not in love with her, and you are,” Gigi said. Nicky shuddered and lit herself another cigarette. Her hands shook slightly as she lifted it to her mouth and took an extremely long drag. Gigi watched her friend struggle with the same vulnerabilities that she had been feeling for so long, and realized that Nicky was in need of a little bit of love. She didn’t care if it quelled the fight, she just wanted Nicky to understand that she wasn’t alone. So Gigi pulled Nicky into a tight hug. Initially, Nicky tensed up. But after a few seconds, she relaxed into the hug. The tears that had initially hidden behind her anger were finally public, as Nicky began to sob into Gigi’s arms.

“It’s fucked up, no?” Nicky asked.

“No,” Gigi said, shaking her head. 

“I hate this feeling. And I hate that I hate this feeling. I just want to be in love, you know? I just want to kiss Jan and fuck Jan and tell her how perfect she is. But something blocks it all. Is it homophobia? Is it my fear of commitment?” Nicky asked.

“Two things can be true.”

“True,” Nicky agreed.

“Nicky, everything I did to you and Jan was unfair. I am so, so sorry.” Gigi said, squeezing Nicky’s hand. She wanted Nicky to know that she was being honest. Nicky nodded, accepting the apology. It wasn’t something that necessarily needed to be said, but Nicky and Gigi had an understanding. They had a lot of the same hang ups about love. And they both felt in over their heads with the beautiful girls that they were in love with. Even if she was angry that Gigi had tried to sleep with Jan, Nicky understood. Nicky could see where the pain was coming from. And that pain was the same pain that caused Nicky to pound on Gigi’s door, even though she trusted Jan. Sometimes companionship can be found in the darkest places.

**

“Nicky!” Jan called out, as she slammed through her front door. In her quest to be open and honest with Nicky, Jan had made the mistake of sharing what happened between her and Gigi right before she was supposed to begin her shift at work. What she thought was a light hearted moment where she proved her love for Nicky caused a huge rift that Jan didn’t know how to fix. Once the longest eight hours of Jan’s life had passed, she ran home as quickly as possible. 

“Nicky?” Jan called again. She assumed that Nicky had gone to the apartment that Jan and Gigi shared to confront Gigi. As she walked into the living room, Jan saw that the whole place was dark and empty. Tears welled up in her eyes, terrified that she had blown her chance with Nicky before it had even really begun. Jan walked to her room and nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Nicky sitting on her bed. The room was lit with a collection of scented candles, and Nicky was completely naked. Jan’s jaw almost hit the floor.

“Do you ever overreact to something?” Nicky asked, smirking in response to the lustful and shocked looks Jan was giving her.

“I exclusively overreact,” Jan nodded.

“I should have thanked you for telling me what happened,” Nicky said, walking over to Jan and pulling her closer. The girls looked at each other intensely and shared a soft kiss.

“You’re allowed to be-” Jan breathed as Nicky put her hands up the shirt Jan was wearing. It was clear that Jan was still reeling from the fight that she had with Nicky, but Nicky’s hands were quickly calming Jan down. 

“I was wrong,” Nicky whispered in Jan’s ear, as she squeezed Jan’s breast. Jan moaned in response. “You were right. Thank you for telling me. And I am sorry that Gigi is going through troubles. We spoke a little, and may speak more. We have a lot of things in common.”

“I’m glad,” Jan said as she felt Nicky slide her hands from her breast to the front button of her jeans. 

“Let me show you how much I love you,” Nicky moaned in Jan’s ear. 

**

“I really fucked up,” Gigi sighed, as she snuggled up against Crystal later that night. 

“I think they forgive you,” Crystal laughed, referencing the loud sex taking place in Jan’s room. “They seem to have moved on from anything that had happened.”

“But I also jeopardized us.”

“We’ve also moved on from anything that had happened!” Crystal said with a laugh. “But I have a way for you to make it up to me. I’ve been thinking a lot about this, actually.”

“If we’ve moved on, why do I still need to make it up to you?” Gigi teased. 

“Finish your fashion credits,” Crystal said bluntly.

“What?”

“Gigi,” Crystal began. “I love you. And I love working with you at Brita’s. I love the little life that we’ve built for ourselves. But this isn’t going to be what you want forever. You have so much talent, and only a few credits to go. You deserve to make the clothes that Brita sells. You are so good, Geege. All you need are a few credentials. I bet Brita could help you find apprenticeships or something. Like, you have this. And being scared is what’s held you back from so much. I can’t watch you not achieve your potential. You’re so good, Geege.”

“Crys,” Gigi said, starting to cry.

“For me,” Crystal said, rubbing Gigi’s hand with her thumb. “For us. You are so good. I want you to be the best you that you can be. For you. For me. For us.”

“I’m scared.”

“I know,” Crystal said. “But even if you’re scared, you deserve the world. I’ll do anything to help you, okay? I want to help you make yourself happy. We are a team and you can make everything up to me by finding your fulfillment.”

“What if I fail?”

“Being stuck in this half credit limbo feels like a bit of a failure to me,” Crystal said bluntly.

“I know you’re right,” Gigi sighed.

“I am right. So?”

“Alright. I’m going to take some time to figure it all out. And I’m going to finish getting all my credentials. We are going to have a super good life together. I am going to make sure of tit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it! Thank you so much for reading and for your kindness and I hope that it was worth the wait!! 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Drop a comment/review!!
> 
> Cheers!!


	17. On the Nights I Catch You Standing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gigi makes a decision about her future as Crystal comes to terms with a choice she made about her future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the weird update schedule, but as always, thank you all so much for sticking with this story! I love you all. You've all given me the most supportive and kind platform to share my stories and I couldn't feel more pleased with the outcome.
> 
> Cheers!

As Gigi walked into the boutique, a sense of fear and anxiety settled in her stomach. The letter in her purse thanking Brita for the opportunity and the time to flourish was weighing her down. Even though none of the boutique staff told Gigi, they all had realized that this day was coming. Over the last fifteen months, with a lot of love and support from Crystal, Gigi was able to finish her outstanding fashion credits. To her own surprise, Gigi had done very well, getting consistently positive critiques from her professors. She was able to build a few connections in the industry with the help of some of her professors and from Brita. In fact, it was one of Brita’s connections that ended up being the reason that Gigi had a resignation letter in her purse. Brita loved to work with local vendors, and had ended up introducing Gigi to a designer who was looking for fresh eyes. Gigi had aced the interviews and was quickly offered a junior design position. It was the gateway into the industry that Gigi needed. A big career step, signing the lease on a new condo she would be moving to with Crystal next month, and her graduation all made Gigi feel like everything was falling into place. 

“Hello my love,” Brita said as Gigi approached the front counter of the store.

“Mom,” Gigi said tentatively. “Do you think that you and I could talk in the back room for a few minutes?”

“I was just about to take my lunch actually. Do you want to give me your resignation letter here, or can we do it while I grab some coffee? It’s been a day!” Brita smiled up at Gigi brightly as she spoke. Gigi was taken aback by what Brita had said. 

“How-”

“Daniel called me,” Brita said, referencing the designer that had offered Gigi her break into the industry. “He was looking for a reference. And of course, we got to talking. The way he talked about you, I knew he was giving you the job. Gigi, he is so excited for you to be part of his team. But I knew what that meant. I knew you’d be giving me a letter I really didn’t want to receive.”

“I’m sorry,” Gigi said quietly. “I’m so sorry, Brita.”

“Not another word Miss Goode,” Brita said as she walked away from the counter toward the back of the store. “I’m getting my purse. I’m going to treat you to a congratulations coffee, my baby.”

**

“So,” Gigi started once she and Brita both had their coffees and a seat at the Starbucks just up the street from the boutique. “When did you talk to Daniel exactly?”

“Two weeks ago. I think it was literally as you left your final interview,” Brita laughed. “He has never been so excited by someone, he told me. I’ve been laying in wait for your resignation letter ever since. It’s a wonderful opportunity, Gigi. I’m really excited for you. I had hoped that one of my people would be able to help you out once you got through all the school stuff.”

“I can’t believe you’ve known for two weeks and you didn’t say anything!” Brita was known for her big heart and even bigger mouth, so the fact that she had kept Gigi’s change in direction to herself was surprising.

“To be honest, I wondered if you would leave me on your own, or if I would have to force you out the door,” Brita said. 

“I owe everything to you,” Gigi shrugged. “It was a big decision.”

“No, baby, you owe everything to you,” Brita corrected.

“You gave me a shot here,” Gigi fought.

“For a reason. Because you’re a good kid with a good heart. And I gave you more and more responsibility at the store because you’re smart and you’re driven. And I gave your name to any designer or studio around here that I thought would pay you well because you’re talented and you deserve everything.” Brita grabbed Gigi’s hand, as Gigi tried to choke back tears. The love that Brita showed her was real and meant so much to the woman. Even if Brita denied that it had to do with her, Gigi knew that Brita was partially responsible for all of the steps that Gigi took in her life.

“Brita,” Gigi sighed, finally allowing a tear to fall down her cheek.

“Baby, dry those tears! This is a happy coffee date!” Brita laughed.

“I can’t believe you gave my name to people.”

“You’re a talent, and a lot of the industry is about who you know,” Brita shrugged. “I’ve done fashion forever and I thought you might need a push.”

“You can deny it all you want,” Gigi began. “But all of the things I love are so intertwined with you and this store. It’s through you that I know all the friends I love dearly. It’s through you I found my girlfriend. It’s through you I found out that I can actually pursue my dreams, you know? It’s because of you. I can’t repay you for this.”

“The fact that you are on your way to success is all I need,” Brita said earnestly.

“You’re such a mom,” Gigi scoffed, wiping the few tears that had escaped.

“I want my babies to be happy,” Brita agreed.

“Can I ask you a random question?” Gigi asked.

“Shoot,” Brita nodded.

“Think back to when Crystal started at the store. Why did you ask me to train her? I’d never trained anyone before, and I’ve never trained anyone since.” Gigi asked. A devious smirk appeared on Brita’s face, and it made Gigi laugh out loud. Brita was their mom, so of course she had been meddling when she got Crystal to be trained by Gigi. 

“I thought you’d be cute together,” Brita laughed.

“You are the worst!”

“You’re  _ welcome _ ,” Brita said dramatically. 

“I could never figure it out. Why you wouldn’t have gotten Nina or Jan or Jackie… God I’ve been wondering forever. You’re so unprofessional sometimes,” Gigi laughed.

“Again, you’re welcome! I just knew that you two would probably hit it off! She was so cute but seemed so sad and lonely. And you’ve always been... “ Brita paused, looking for the right way to phrase what she wanted to say. “You’ve always been  _ friendly _ with a lot of people. But you never seemed to feel content. Do you know what I mean?”

“I was a sad hoe?” Gigi asked while laughing.

“Your words, not mine!” Brita laughed. 

“Your implication, not mine!” Gigi countered. 

“Listen, I was cupid and it worked. You have a beautiful girlfriend, so as I’ve said 100 times, you’re very welcome,” Brita teased.

“Thank you,” Gigi said softly, reaching to take Brita’s hand again.

“I’m so proud of you, Gigi.”

“Yeah?” Gigi asked. Brita being proud of her made Gigi feel very warm. She had been a mentor and a maternal figure for Gigi during a strange and weird transition phase of her life. Brita meant a lot, and her pride meant just as much.

“You’ve come so far,” Brita nodded.

“Will you come to my graduation? It’s not a huge thing, but I would really like you to be there. It’s going to be my mom, Crystal, and Jan. And you, of course. If you want to come.” Gigi rambled.

“Really?” Brita asked, obviously flattered at the offer.

“I mean, all of this is because of you,” Gigi said, watching Brita tear up. 

“Gigi, stop! It’s all you,” Brita disagreed.

“Regardless, I would really love it if you could be there. At the grad itself. Jackie is throwing me some sort of surprise party afterward, and I’m pretty sure I know you’re already going to that one,” Gigi said.

“You’re not supposed to know about that,” Brita laughed, still with her eyes full of tears.

“Vanessa knows and Jan knows, thus, I know,” Gigi scoffed.

“Those two,” Brita shook her head. Vanessa and Jackie had gotten serious very quickly, so she had become a staple around the store. The charming girl had the whole staff of Brita’s Boutique enamoured with her. That meant that everyone including Brita knew how big of a mouth Vanessa had. And when she was around Jan, things got worse. The two loud, peppy, and easily excitable women brought out the best and the worst in each other. They got along swimmingly, but at a high volume and a lack of secrecy that made everyone laugh.

“Right?” Gigi laughed.

“I would be honoured to go to your graduation ceremony,” Brita said, returning to the previous conversation. “I am so beyond flattered.”

“It wouldn’t feel right without you there,” Gigi smiled.

“So, how much notice is in your letter?” Brita asked.

“I gave you a month, that’s when Daniel wants me to start. They’re at a weird point in the current collection, so he thought it would be easier for me to make the transition and start some training when this collection is done. Plus, I wanted to give you some time to train a good replacement for me.” Gigi explained. Brita burst out laughing, but looked at Gigi sadly.

“There is no replacement for you, Gigi.”

**

“How did it go?” Crystal asked as she got into Gigi’s car. After Gigi’s conversation with Brita, she drove immediately to pick up Crystal. Even though the situation was great and she was leaving on the best possible terms, Gigi couldn’t help but feel sad. She had spent over three years at Brita’s. It felt very strange and ugly to be leaving, even if it was what she knew she wanted. Gigi called her girlfriend and requested a sleepover as soon as all was said and done. 

“Well,” Gigi nodded, starting to pull out of the parking spot in which she was waiting. “Really well. She agreed to come to my grad!”

“Of course she did,” Crystal scoffed. “She loves you Geege, you knew she’d come.”

“I really wondered if she might be mad at me for leaving!” Gigi said, defending herself.

“I didn’t,” Crystal said, reaching to Gigi’s thigh and giving it a tight squeeze.

“I know, you know everything,” Gigi teased.

“I do,” Crystal nodded.

“Did you know she gave my name to other designers?” Gigi asked. Crystal suddenly looked a bit guilty. 

“No, that’s crazy, wow,” Crystal said, obviously lying.

“Don’t lie to me,” Gigi said sternly.

“Brita asked me for a stealth copy of your portfolio,” Crystal admitted. “A while ago. Like, when you started your last few credits. The one that your teachers helped you put together or whatever. I snagged one of the copies.”

“You sneak! You thief!” Gigi yelped.

“I knew you’d say no if I asked!” Crystal said.

“Thank you for always taking care of me,” Gigi said, dropping the act that she was upset. Instead she grabbed Crystal’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “You’ve believed in me all along, and it’s really fucking cool. I wouldn’t have done any of this if it wasn’t for you.”

“You made that portfolio. You finished school. None of this had anything to do with me. This was all you Gigi. You’re an amazing woman and I just didn’t want your self-doubt to get in your way. I know stealing your portfolio was kind of icky but-” Crystal looked genuinely apologetic, but Gigi interrupted her quickly.

“I love you, Crystal.” The women had expressed their love for each other many times, Crystal officially asking Gigi to be her girlfriend a year prior. But there was something about the way Gigi said this that made Crystal’s heart flutter. It sounded less like a declaration of love, and more like a promise. 

“I love you more than you’ll ever know,” Crystal said happily. 

“I’m really excited for you to be a part of my life,” Gigi said.

“That’s everything to me, Geege.”

“I think you might be the love of my life, you know?”

“I do!” Crystal exclaimed.

“Really though. I can’t imagine these big steps without you. I can’t imagine that I would have successfully worked through school or went to therapy or done any of these things that have made my life so much more fulfilling without you. You bring out all of the good in me,” Gigi explained.

“Geege, it’s the same here! I hid from my true self for so long because of fear. And you changed that. I want to be a better me, for you. I am excited for a future that has you, and that’s all that matters to me about the future. I feel like as long as we are together, we can figure it all out, still becoming the best versions of ourselves. Like, it’s not perfect, but with you, it is as perfect as anyone could ever dream of.” Crystal said, staring deeply at Gigi, who tried to keep her eyes on the road while still drinking in the words from her girlfriend. 

“I think I want to marry you,” Gigi said.

“Yeah, okay,” Crystal laughed. 

“Seriously!”

“The Gigi Goode? Married? No, there is no woman who can tame Gigi Goode!”

“One day, baby. I’m putting a ring on that finger.” Gigi teased as she played with Crystal’s hand. Crystal smirked to herself. If only Gigi knew that Crystal intended to do the same thing. But she was a lot closer to making it happen, just waiting for a setting as beautiful as the ring that she had already had hiding in Jan's sock drawer -- Gigi’s graduation ceremony. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP! 
> 
> Three chapters to go!! 
> 
> Hope this chapter was worth the wait and I really would love to know what you think! Leave a comment or a review or thoughts!!!
> 
> Cheers!!!


	18. Everybody Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gigi graduates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while since the last update! But this chapter was definitely a tricky one! I have never writen-deleted-re-written a chapter as many times as this one. But...here we are!
> 
> Thank you so much for the amazing responses on the last chapter and the whole story so far! I can't believe the end is this close. I appreciate every read, every comment, everything. You all gave me a comfy place to share what I've written and I can't tell you how much it means to me!
> 
> Cheers!!

On the day of her graduation, Gigi looked more beautiful than she had ever looked. At least, that’s what Crystal thought. Her hair was down and wavy, her makeup was light and simple, but she was glowing. She was radiating a contagious happiness. Her excitement was palpable. It wasn’t often that Gigi genuinely felt proud of herself, but on the day of her college graduation, she was. Crystal wasn’t the only one who noticed. Even Gigi’s mother beamed, saying that she was thrilled to see how much this meant to her daughter, and talking about how this was a complete 180 degree shift from when she graduated University. That day had been pleasant, but Gigi was timid and her eyes were not full of the same joy. 

“This is different,” Gigi explained to her mother and Crystal as they drove to the college together. “I’m not a scared twenty-two year old with no direction in life! I don't have imposter syndrome or feel completely lost. That was a big day, but it had such a dark cloud attached to it that I just couldn't shake. Now? Completely different. You know better than anyone how much I’ve changed since I graduated Uni.”

“It’s true,” Gigi’s mother agreed happily. “You’re a whole new woman. You smile more.”

“I think I might be happy,” Gigi mused. “Genuinely. Unbelievably.”

“You’re going to make me cry!” Crystal said, excitedly. She was privy to how hard Gigi had worked to overcome a lot of her trauma and work through her hang-ups about love and success. So to have a whole day to celebrate all that her girlfriend had accomplished was exactly what Crystal wanted. Ms. Goode wore a knowing smile, thinking about how much happier her daughter would be in just a few hours time. Crystal was not a traditional person by any means, but she did speak to Gigi’s mother before she looked for engagement rights. She had even taken Ms. Goode and Jan with her to pick something they thought Gigi would be thrilled with. Gigi’s mother loved Crystal and felt she brought out the best in Gigi, so giving her blessing was a no brainer.

Once the three women arrived at the college, they met up with Jan and Brita, who were already there. Jan had worried about finding seats, and picked Brita up far too early for the graduation. While Gigi ran to get her cap and gown and congregate with the other students in her program, Jan and Crystal took care of introducing Brita and Ms. Goode. The women got along very well, considering Ms. Goode was a seamstress. They had a lot to discuss about current trends and hem lengths.

“Does she have any idea?” Jan asked, excitedly and obviously referencing the ring in Crystal’s bag. 

“If she does, she hasn’t given me any hints,” Crystal said. “I mean, we have been so focused on moving and the graduation and her new job.”

“Yeah, I don’t imagine the two of you have much time to talk about weddings. I can’t believe you’re proposing!” Jan seemed so excited, a bystander may have wondered if she was the one about to propose. “I don’t feel like we’re old enough for this kind of thing. I'm so excited for you guys that I could actually throw up, but it all still feels weird. Like in my head, we're still fourteen or something, you know?”

“I feel simultaneously like we’re too young, and we’re a million years old. But Geege is gonna be twenty-seven, you know? We’re like...adults. These things are what we do now.” Crystal said with a shrug. The idea of proposing when they hadn’t quite been together two years made some people in her life turn up their noses. But she had been in love with Gigi since the girl told her that it was a waste for her to have a boyfriend. It was magic between the two of them. They were building a life that Crystal already felt nostalgic for - even though it had yet to begin. All the emotions she felt when she thought about their relationship were overwhelming. And everything she could ever want.

“God, don’t call us that,” Jan scoffed. 

“God, don’t remind me that my  _ baby _ is twenty-seven. Which is especially crazy considering  _ I’m _ only twenty-nine!” Ms. Goode said, making everyone laugh. 

“Girl, me too,” Brita laughed.

Before the conversation could go any further, processional music started. Crystal felt her stomach start to do flips. Nothing was at stake for Gigi, but the thought of her receiving the diploma made Crystal a bit anxious. It was the whole existential feeling of it all. They  _ were _ adults. And even though nothing had changed, everything was different. 

Gigi’s mother had warned them all that the graduation would likely be long and boring. She was correct. Many people talked about what success means, the future, careers, and school. It was rather exhausting to sit through. But when Gigi was called up to get her diploma, it was all worth it. Her smile lit up the room. Crystal could feel her eyes welling with tears that matched the ones Ms. Goode, Brita, and Jan were all shedding. Gigi’s eyes glistened, but ever the model, she just offered a wide smile. Her mom took pictures of every step that Gigi took, trying desperately to steady her camera while crying. Seeing her quiet, confused daughter become a confident woman with a life and career ahead filled her with so much pride, it felt like she might burst. Crystal understood the feeling.

**

“I can’t believe it!” Gigi said, clad in her black cap and gown, running full speed to meet up with her guests. The long graduation had finally ended, and Gigi was so full of adrenaline that she jumped into Crystal’s arms. Her legs wrapped around her girlfriend’s waist as Crystal lifted her up high. They shared a passionate kiss that made Ms Goode blush, Brita laugh, and Jan whip out her phone to make sure she captured the moment. It would make an excellent Instagram photo.

“You did it,” Crystal said, staring deeply into Gigi’s eyes. 

“We did it!”

“You did it,” Crystal repeated as she let go of Gigi. She wasn’t happy to break up the hug, but Crystal knew that everyone would want as much Gigi love as they also could get. Besides, she was going to have the rest of her life to hug Gigi. 

“My baby girl!” Ms. Goode sobbed, grabbing Gigi into a tight hug. “I was so happy when you got your degree but this… I just want my girl to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. This is everything I could ever want. I see your joy, Gigi! I see how happy you are.”

“I couldn’t have done it without your support and love mom,” Gigi whispered, biting back another round of happy tears. Once they broke apart, Gigi went down the line, hugging and crying. Brita and Jan were both honoured and excited to be a part of the graduation, and they had a lot of feelings and tears to share. The women all took photos, discussing the events of the day, when Crystal grabbed Gigi’s hand.

“Long, boring ceremony,” Gigi whispered to Crystal.

“Excruciating,” Crystal laughed, rolling her eyes.

“Thank you for being here,” Gigi said happily.

“I’m glad I was able to pencil you in,” Crystal teased. “Even if it was the world’s longest  ceremony.”

“Glad you could fit me into your busy day,” Gigi laughed.

“Hey,” Crystal said, swallowing a lump in her throat. “Do you want to go for a walk? Just the two of us? Your mom said that she would hang out with Jan and Brita for a few if we wanted to have a few minutes alone. Decompress or whatever.”

“Yeah, for sure,” Gigi nodded. Crystal was starting to sweat nervously, and Gigi noticed. “Are you okay? You look weird. And sweaty.”

“Just hot,” Crystal mumbled, trying to get a handle on her emotions. This was supposed to be a special moment that they would remember forever, and she really didn’t want her hypothalamus to ruin it. She grabbed Gigi’s hand after drying her own off on her pants, and they walked over to an area of trees and grass, away from all of the celebrating families.

“This feels surreal,” Gigi said once they were alone. “Like, my life is so good, Crys. And I wish I could explain to you how much of that has to do with you. All of it. I’m genuinely happy. I never imagined I would be this happy. It’s cliche and boring and domestic but fuck, everything about us makes so much sense. You’re everything I could have ever wanted. Thank you so much for sharing this with me.”

“Oh, God, Gigi, I love you so much,” Crystal said, resolving that it was time. But before she could move at all, Gigi took a deep breath, and still in her cap and gown, she got down on the ground, sitting up on one knee. She put her hand in the front pocket of her black gown and pulled out a black velvet box. 

“Crystal,” Gigi began. Crystal was so caught by the absurdity of the situation that she just started to laugh. Gigi looked crestfallen for a split second before looking confused.

“Gigi,” Crystal said, mimicking the motion of moving to one knee, and putting her hand in her purse, and retrieving a similar box to Gigi’s.

“Fuck off,” Gigi said, in disbelief.

“You fuck off!” Crystal said. Gigi’s look of confusion was replaced with a look of pure joy as she fell back on to her ass, laughing uncontrollably. Crystal managed to stay upright, but was laughing just as hard. She grabbed Gigi’s hand and slipped the ring onto Gigi’s finger.

“Presumptuous,” Gigi teased, as she put Crystal’s ring onto Crystal’s ring finger. “I didn’t even say yes, Crystal!”

“You had your own fucking ring,” Crystal laughed. “Forgive me for thinking that means you wanted to get engaged! My mistake!”

“How did this happen?” Gigi laughed, making her way up to her feet and reaching to pull Crystal up to a standing position. 

“I only told Jan and your mom what I was doing, so I assume you didn’t tell them. And now we’re actual idiots!” Crystal howled, still revelling in the awkward joy of accidentally trying to propose on the same day.

“Ah fuck! I told your parents and I told Nicky!”

“So you’re saying that Nicky and Jan  _ both _ kept this secret from us  _ and _ each other?” Crystal was shocked. Jan was a big mouth when it came to happy secrets, and she was even worse about keeping things from Nicky. Even innocuous things, Jan was always happy to tell Nicky. 

“Then I think this is entirely their fault,” Gigi said simply, grabbing Crystal’s hand and pulling her back to the rest of the women that were now likely waiting for them. 

“I had such a good proposal speech, you know,” Crystal said as they walked back.

“Me too!” Gigi said. 

“I love you more than I can even say, Geege,” Crystal said, pulling Gigi in for another kiss. 

“Me too,” Gigi repeated, kissing Crystal deeply.

“Ready to go to the surprise party you definitely don’t know about?” Crystal said with a smirk. Gigi was beyond ready. She couldn't stop staring at the perfect ring that her girlfriend...fiancee had gotten. It couldn't have been more perfect if she had picked it herself. But Crystal felt the same. The ring her fiancee had picked was everything and more. They both were thrilled to be able to show off their stunning symbols of the future to all of their friends. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO MORE! I'm overwhelmed with all the support and love on this story. Thank you thank you thank you!
> 
> Let me know what you think! Leave a comment! Give me your thoughts!!
> 
> Cheers!!!!!


	19. Aching to be Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gigi struggles to write her wedding vows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been WAY TOO LONG. I am so sorry! The writers block has been so real for this story. I have been using an outline and for the last two chapters, I ended up completely scrapping them because I just couldn't get anything out that I was happy with. That combined with school and work... I am sorry it took so long!
> 
> But I'm here and I am really happy with this chapter, and I should have the final chapter done very soon - I am already in the middle of it! 
> 
> As always, thank you SO MUCH for reading, and I appreciate the patience as I struggled to get this one out. 
> 
> Cheers!

Gigi tapped her pen against her cheek, trying hard to fight through the writer’s block that encapsulated her. When Crystal had suggested that they write their vows for their wedding, Gigi was sure it was going to be a great idea that was undyingly romantic. However, as the wedding approached, as Gigi became extremely busy with her new job, as she began to run out of time, Gigi started to wish that for once, she and Crystal had decided to do one thing the traditional way. But that wasn’t their way, so when Gigi had a full, uninterrupted day off with less than four weeks before the wedding, she made Jan and Jackie come over and sit with her in her and Crystal’s new apartment, and force her to bang out her vows.

“This is why people stick to traditional vows,” Gigi huffed as Jan brought her a cup of coffee.

“Look,” Jan said. “Your beautiful fiancée wants handwritten vows. You two are both artists who are full of feelings and yearning! You can do this.”

“I make clothes, she makes paintings,” Gigi reminded her friends. “Pouring out my heart in front of our friends and families is not the same thing!”

“I wouldn’t say that’s necessarily true,” Jackie disagreed. “A lot of the sketches you make and the art she is making again, it’s just a different way of pouring your heart out. You both use your art and your fashion to show your soul, and you do it in front of _everyone_! I don’t think you should discredit that.”

“Jackie, that’s beautiful!” Jan gushed.

“Okay, you’re right,” Gigi said with a nod. “But words are different.”

“Yeah, you’ve got me there,” Jackie said with a sigh.

“We just need to focus. Crystal is already done her vows, and they’re just gorgeous,” Jan explained.

“You’ve seen them?” Gigi asked, shocked. She thought that Crystal might be more private about her vows rather than showing them off.

“Oh, Gigi,” Jackie sighed dramatically. “You are going to sob. She has the soul of a poet.”

“Stop!” Gigi whined. “You two aren’t making this any easier! I already know what’s at stake here, and I have an idea of what I want to write. I need help getting it out of my head and on to paper.”

“Do you think if the vows are bad, Crystal will leave you at the alter?” Jan teased. Jackie nudged Jan to warn her to zip it, but Gigi let out a small chuckle. Gigi appreciated that Jackie was taking care of her and making sure Jan didn’t tease her too much, but Jan was tapdancing around a point. Crystal loved Gigi. Crystal loved Gigi more than anything. No matter what the vows were, Crystal and Gigi were going to get married.

“I get it,” Gigi whined. “But I still want them to be special.”

“Let’s approach this logically,” Jackie said, taking the pen and paper from Gigi’s hands unceremoniously. “We are going to start with a point-form list of the things that you want to include in the vows. Once we have a list, then we can move on to organizing your points by theme, tone, and meaning. Then we can put it all together in a way that flows well. Anything leftover that we can’t fit into your vows, we can use to build some of your speech at the reception. I know you and Crystal will write most of that together, but if you want to throw a few cute little secret sentiments, then you can pick them from this list!”

“God, you’re brilliant,” Jan breathed, unironically. “Can I hire you to plan my wedding? I want you to use this logical approach to everything.”

“Your wedding?” Gigi teased. “Nicky ask you a question yet?”

“No,” Jan said with a laugh. “I don’t think I’m ready yet, honestly. I love her with all my heart. But you and Crystal are really on your paths for life. There is a lot more I want to do and discover before I even think about getting married. I want to be able to take care of Nick, you know? And I have a bit of life to figure out.”

“That’s sweet!” Gigi gushed. “Who would have thought? Some of my favourite sluts, getting ready to settle down!”

“You’re one to talk!” Jan laughed, reaching out to playfully smack Gigi on the arm.

“Speaking of one of my favourite sluts,” Gigi said, raising her eyebrows at Jackie. “You and Vanessa ever talk about weddings yet?”

“We haven’t been together nearly as long as either of you,” Jackie scoffed.

“So?” Jan teased.

“Vanessa is amazing,” Jackie nodded. “I feel like we fit together so well, just because we are so different. She makes me have a lot more fun in life. Like, I enjoy little things, you know?”

“You can see it in your face, you’re lighter,” Gigi nodded.

“I am,” Jackie agreed. “But you need to focus on your vows, Miss Goode!”

“But I can pick your brains about your relationships and just use all of your points,” Gigi joked. “Jan, why don’t you just write out all your feelings about Nicky, and Jackie, you do the same about Vanessa. Then I will just white out the names, easy-peasy.”

“That is so inauthentic!” Jan laughed.

“And it wouldn’t make sense,” Jackie pointed out with a smirk. “If you said you loved Crystal’s French accent, people might be a little surprised.”

“Ahh, my perfect plan is foiled,” Gigi said as she rolled her eyes.

“What are some points you want to make?” Jackie said, returning focus to the vows.

“It’s hard!” Gigi sighed. “How do you put into words how much someone makes your life better? How do you express your love for someone when you can’t even quantify it? How do you explain the way that someone has made you a better person? Like!”

“Gigi,” Jan breathed. “That’s beautiful!”

“It’s not, it’s just my struggle!” Gigi whined.

“But that sounds like vows,” Jackie pointed out, without looking up from the paper she was writing on, trying to copy Gigi’s words verbatim.

“Oh, you’re right!” Gigi realized.

“What else is hard to explain?” Jan asked, excitedly.

“It’s impossible for me to explain that it really was love at first sight,” Gigi began. “The second I saw her I knew everything was going to be different. Hell, people already thought it about us before I even met her, considering the fact that Brita specifically got me to train her because she was trying to play matchmaker.”

“Brita is the most,” Jackie laughed as she continued to take notes.

“It’s super hard for me to articulate the way that Crystal changed my life,” Gigi continued. “She has genuinely made me better. She helped me reach my goals. She helped me feel happier. She helped me confront things within myself that I wasn’t ready to. She helped me find a therapist even! But I think I’ve done the same for her too, you know? Like we have both brought out good. There was good inside both of us, so much potential. And we got to go on these journeys of growth together. Does that make sense?”

“Yes!” Jan exclaimed, feeling her eyes well up with tears. Both Jackie and Gigi realized how close their friend was to crying, so they both stopped what they were doing to laugh.

“You are such a baby!” Gigi teased.

“I can’t help it!” Jan sniffled. “I love love! And I love you! And I love Crystal! And I love you both! Like, to hear you speak so happily about life, Gigi it’s so nice.”

“It’s sweet, but you’re still such a crybaby,” Jackie laughed.

“Fair,” Jan laughed, drying her eyes.

“I don’t know how to address the elephant in the room of me being the other woman, though,” Gigi mumbled.

“Why would you address that?” Jackie asked, incredulously.

“It’s part of us!” Gigi exclaimed.

“Yeah,” Jan agreed. “But like, why would you bring that up? It’s your wedding, Gee! You’re celebrating your love, not drudging up a part of your relationship that you aren’t even sure how you feel about. The ends justified the means on this one, but going up there and laughing about how you slept with her while she had the world’s shittiest boyfriend will probably kill the mood!”

“I guess,” Gigi agreed.

“You still feel weird about it?” Jackie asked.

“I think I might always,” Gigi said with a small nod. “Sometimes I feel guilty because I know it put her through so much turmoil, you know?”

“You didn’t put her through turmoil,” Jackie said, shaking her head. “You both were in over your head. And it all worked out better for both of you. Nothing worth having is easy, right? Gigi, I think this is that sabotage thing you do.”

“How so?” Gigi asked.

“You’re marrying the woman you love,” Jackie pointed out. “You are working your dream job, you have a gorgeous apartment, you are regularly seeing your therapist. Things are going well for you. And sometimes it’s hard to accept that. So, if you hold onto that guilt about how your relationship started, it leaves you something to not like about yourself.”

“You sound like Michelle,” Gigi laughed.

“Then she sounds smart,” Jan agreed. “You and Crystal didn’t take the normal path to a relationship, but who does? I started hooking up with my good friend who I caught feelings for, and Jackie drunkenly fucked Vanessa who never left her side after! People don’t marry their high school sweetheart in that 1950s line of thought.”

“And aren’t you lucky for that,” Jackie teased, referencing how glad Gigi must be that people don’t marry their high school partner, or Crystal would not be her fiancée. Gigi laughed and rolled her eyes.

“You’re probably right,” Gigi said.

“Things fall into place, even if it’s weirdly,” Jan said, moving to snuggle up with Gigi. She put her arm around Gigi’s shoulder and hugged her tight. “You deserve all of the good things that you have, Gee. You do.”

“I love you guys,” Gigi said with a small smile, leaning her head on Jan’s shoulder.

“We love you too, that’s why we’re here!” Jackie said, reaching over to pat Gigi’s hand.

“Tell us about that love at first sight,” Jan said, returning the girls’ focus to the vows. “That’s super cute and super romantic. I bet that’s a great way to structure your vows. Love, at first sight, is way Disney, and it’s way Crygi!”

“The word Crygi better not appear in your speech,” Gigi said, addressing her maid of honour clearly and pointedly.

“You’re not in charge of my speech,” Jan scoffed and Gigi groaned.

“Focus!” Jackie laughed. “Jan is right. A love at first sight moment is exactly what you should structure your vows around. It’s adorable and true. Most people don’t have that.”

“Well,” Gigi explained. “The second I saw her, I knew. When Brita introduced us, the first thought I had was that this girl was going to be trouble. I wondered if maybe I would just take her out on a date or fuck her-“

“Don’t put that specifically in there,” Jan said to Jackie with a giggle.

“But,” Gigi said, ignoring Jan’s interruption. “I felt drawn to her. Through her training, I noticed all the little things. The way she played with her hair. The way she always met my eyes intensely when I explained things to her. The adorable laugh. Everything. And that was beyond unprofessional, but it was all I could think about. She was the most gorgeous, and she was brilliant. And she was so sweet. Everything caught my eye about her.”

“God, that’s so romantic,” Jan sighed.

“And I was so overwhelmed. I tried hard to focus on work, but as soon as we had a break, I dragged her to get coffee with me. Every break that we had that lined up, I glued myself to her. And we talked. About everything. I have never been able to share that much of myself with someone. Like, immediately I felt connected to her – and I know she did to me. We both just shared everything. It was freeing! It felt so nice.”

“This is so good, Gigi,” Jackie said as she scribbled out what Gigi was saying.

“You were overwhelmed with love!” Jan squealed.

“And you didn’t share any of this?” Jackie asked. “I don’t know too much about you two at the beginning. This was back when everyone was fucking but nobody told _me_.”

“No,” Gigi laughed. “I didn’t tell her I was interested.”

“That’s not entirely true,” Jan said with a small smirk. “I seem to remember you rudely, sarcastically, and hilariously blunt.”

“Oh my god, I forgot!” Gigi laughed.

“What did you tell her?” Jackie asked.

“I told her that her having a boyfriend was a waste,” Gigi said with a wide smile, making Jackie and Jan burst out laughing.

“I think I have a great idea about how we can structure these vows,” Jackie said with a wide smile. Gigi was so thankful that her friends were there to help her. Putting words to the feelings that had overwhelmed her for years and overwhelmed her to that day was hard. And it was amazing to have people who were able to help her translate that. Once the vows were written and ready, Gigi would finally be able to feel thrilled about the wedding and have nothing else to worry about. It was exciting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it! One more chapter. It is so bittersweet, but this angst-filled romp will be coming to an end, definitely more sweet than bitter now!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you think! Leave me a comment! Leave me a message! Leave me a review!
> 
> Cheers!!!!


	20. The Party Goes With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rain makes Crystal nostalgic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL, it's been far too long. I know it. But I won't waste everyone's time complaining about how weird the world is and how hard things have been. We are all feeling that. I'm just going to get right into the finale!!
> 
> Thank you all for sticking with this story. Thank you for all of the incredible feedback. Thank you all for reading, commenting, giving kudos.... Thank you for always giving me a place to share the stories in my head. I can't believe this is it!!
> 
> I am never too good at endings. So I hope this was worth it.
> 
> Cheers!!

Something about rain storms made Crystal feel especially nostalgic. It felt like the world was being washed clean, some kind of a refresh. The storms that took place on the nights that Gigi was going to be at the studio late made her especially thoughtful. When it was her, the cat that she had adopted with Gigi, and the sounds of the thunder, her mind often wandered wildly, feeling the existential weight of the world. Days felt so long, but years felt so short. 

Crystal looked wistfully out the window, watching the sky illuminate with stripes of yellow and white lightning. She fiddled with both her engagement ring and fairly new wedding band absentmindedly as she watched the rain hit the window. The wedding band was still a new and foregin feeling on Crystal’s finger, but it fit so comfortably that she knew she would be used to the feeling very soon. A small smile crept onto her face, picturing the beautiful woman that she finally got to call her wife. The wedding was small, beautiful, and almost the exact fairytale wedding that Crystal had imagined when she was a little girl. Except there were two princesses in this fairytale, and the story didn’t end after the wedding. They had a honeymoon, they had growth, and they had a lifetime of love and learning ahead of them.

Six months had passed since Crystal had become Gigi’s wife, and the world continued to move quickly around both of them. Crystal moved to the kitchen to make herself a hot cup of tea, dodging Tic Tac, who had a habit of running in between Crystal’s legs when she walked. Putting the kettle on, Crystal checked her phone to see that Gigi was going to be home sooner than later, as things were going well with the new collection her team was launching. Six months had passed since Crystal had become Gigi’s wife, and she still got butterflies when she knew that her wife was coming home soon. She excitedly doubled the water in the kettle, and moved to make two coffees instead of one tea. Whenever Gigi got home from work, she loved to have a coffee and tell Crystal all about her day. Gigi had warned Crystal from day one that she was chatty, and Crystal was always thankful for that. The inane chatter was something safe that Crystal could count on. It was something that she always loved. 

When Brita expanded her store and opened up a second location, Jackie was handed the keys to the original store. Everyone knew it was coming, especially because Nina made it clear that she never wanted to be a store manager. Jackie was a great boss who grew into her role very quickly, but Crystal wasn’t Jackie’s second assistant manager for very long. It turns out that the ever scheming Brita had passed along some of Crystal’s pieces of art to designers, similar to what she had done with Gigi’s design portfolio. She was offered a pattern designing position with a local designer. It was much smaller scale than the designer Gigi was working for, and significantly less couture. Naturally, it was a perfect fit for Crystal’s unique patterns. The brand she worked for loved that each of their designs were hand painted and valued their artists greatly - a reason that Brita liked to stock her boutique with their wares. So when she had to resign from the boutique, Crystal was happy, knowing that she would still be in contact with Jackie, Brita and the whole boutique gang often. 

Of course, Crystal couldn’t get out of contact with Jackie and her best friends even if she tried. The found-family that Crystal and Gigi had built was stronger than ever, sharing their first wedding, moving through new jobs and new roles, and feeling more set in the world of adult life. The group maintained their nights out together, making sure to get together at least monthly to catch up. That, and the girls kept each other busy with all of their life changes. The whole crew got together to make sure that Jackie and Vanessa had an easy time moving into the small house that they bought together. The crew helped Jan put together an application for University as Nicky accepted a job with the same designer label that Gigi worked for. The crew supported Jaida through straight-dating to the best of their abilities, and became closer to Heidi as they helped her become a spectacular part of the ever-growing Brita’s Boutique family. And of course, all of the girls were fixtures at the house that Gigi and Crystal owned. Whether Gigi and Nicky were brainstorming for a meeting, Jaida was stressing about Brita wanting to open a Bridal store that she would likely become the store manager of, or Jan was begging the newlyweds to quiz her for her literature course, the boutique girls were always around, even if they had all begun to move on to new facets of their lives. 

Last Crystal heard, Nathan had moved back to his hometown. It had all been through the grapevine, as she had kept herself away from the draw of Nathan related nostalgia. Instead of any longing for the past or looking back in anger, Crystal had worked hard to think back fondly on her life with Nathan. She focused on the good, and was able to share good memories of her adolescence and young adulthood with happiness. Gigi was always excited to hear stories of Crystal’s rebellious youth. The other girls were always surprised to hear about Crystal’s youth - mostly surprised that she had _lived_ through some of the stories of substance experimentation and sneaking into various places. Nathan wasn’t a dark cloud in Crystal’s life anymore.

And throughout it all, Gigi continued to go to therapy. Things with Gigi’s mental health would never get easy necessarily, and there were still fights laying in wait for her and Crystal. But that was okay. It was growth. It was learning. It was all a part of dealing with trauma, and both Gigi and Crystal were becoming stronger with each breakthrough and each setback. That was the cool thing about love that Gigi was finally understanding. It wasn’t conditional on pretending to be okay. Love sometimes meant fighting, yelling, and hurting. It just was conditional on wanting to work together and continuing to do the work that Dr. Visage gave the couple. Crystal was considering seeing a therapist for herself. Not necessarily because things were getting worse for her, but there is always a benefit of speaking to someone impartial who could support through the drudgery of everyday life. Even though Crystal had taken to venting to Vanessa - the world’s best hype man - she assumed a lot of solutions that Vanessa came up with were not necessarily good or even legal. 

The whistle of the kettle brought Crystal back to reality. She excitedly grabbed her pour over set to make coffee for herself and Gigi. Decaf for Crystal, standard for Gigi. The girls reacted to caffeine so differently that later night coffees always required separate brews. Crystal picked dried paint off her finger tips as the coffee ran through the system. She had spent her day off working on a painting and had missed a few spots when she had scrubbed her hands. When she took the job designing prints, Crystal had promised Jan that she would continue to make time for personal art - her friend knew that sometimes when things people love become work, they didn’t love them quite as much. The promise was easy enough to keep, as all of her friends were making progress in their lives, and a painting was always a perfect gift.

That night, Crystal was working on a painting for Jan and Nicky, who finally decided to move in together. They were often teased for being the only lesbians who weren’t in the UHaul club, but Jan was insistent that they would not take any further big relationships until she was finished with her bachelors and teacher’s college. Just because Nicky was established in her career, didn’t mean that Jan didn’t want to take care of her and be set in her own career. But once Jackie helped Jan and Nicky draw up a budget, they realized how much money they would save by living together. Vanessa and Jaida teased them about how unromantic that was. Crystal, however, liked that they were moving in together pragmatically. She actually found it very romantic that Jan and Nicky were planning long term, rather than just doing things on whims. 

After what seemed like forever, Gigi finally returned home. Crystal embraced her wife, thrusting the hot coffee into her hand, letting Gigi unload about her day, a big project she was taking on, and everything that was on her mind. A smile was on Crystal’s face the whole time. She could listen to Gigi give a civics lecture and she would smile throughout. The way her blue eyes lit up, the way she gestured, the way she laughed - Crystal was still obsessed with it all.

Something about rain storms made Crystal feel especially nostalgic. But everything about Gigi made Crystal feel both nostalgic and hopeful. The future and the past melded together when she looked at Gigi. She was everything in that moment and everything in the past and everything in the future. She was everything. 

It turned out that Gigi was right. Crystal having a boyfriend had been a waste. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all SO much for absolutely everything. I can't thank everyone enough. This was an incredibly personal story, written at one of the weirdest points in my life (and in our current world history, let's be honest). And it meant so much to me that people were not only interested, but encouraging me to share more of what was going on in my mind. This has been the best introduction to fan fiction writing, and this fandom in general.
> 
> Now I'm getting far too emotional about all of this.
> 
> Thank you all one more time!!!!!
> 
> Cheers!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for giving this a read! 
> 
> Drop a review if you're so inclined, especially if you have any thoughts, tips, criticisms!
> 
> Cheers.


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